My Ruby Red Slippers

2011-09-17T23:07:00.000-04:00

I just had the following conversation with a Direct TV customer service rep. No lie.

Customer service rep (from here on in, referred to as CSR - CRAZY service rep):

"This is Crazy Service Rep - how may I make you a satisfied customer today?"

(PS, she mostly failed on that one.)

Me. Otherwise referred to as AA - Aggravated Amy: "Hi! I'm interested in your $29.99 a month package. How much total will I pay after adding a dvr and 2 receivers?"

CSR: "Okay, thank you for your interest in become a Direct TV customer. I will need your full name and telephone number that I may better serve you today."

AA: "Uh..okay. Amy Smith. 123-456-7890." (NOT my real number, so don't call it or you'll end up with a suspicious call to China on your phone bill, totally forget you dialed a crazy fake number you read on a blog, and blame your poor hubby for calling one of THOSE numbers. Or something like that.)

CRS: "And may I please have your address, including zip code?"

AA: "Um, you know I'm not actually ordering your service just yet, right? (awkward laughter) I mean, I just want to know if I should switch from my current company or not."

CSR: "Yes ma'am, but I can't give you an accurate quote until I see what area you live in."

Which begs the question, are there areas that get better deals that *we* do?! And what is the deciding criteria for that decision? Hmmmm... But I will not go there with poor, crazy service rep person. Focus.

So I give her my address and zip.

CSR: "Okay, now if I could get your email address, to further find credits I can give you."
AA: "You can't give me a price without my email address? This paper says $29.99...is that not the price for this package?"
CSR: "I will let you know what I can offer you once I get your email address."

AA: "You're saying you can't move past that screen? Is that what you mean?"

CSR: "Yes ma'am, I cannot get to the next screen until I get your email address."

Which begs the question...what about those without email addresses? Guess you don't get Direct TV. Sorry.

2 minutes later...

CSR: "So I see I can offer you the package you want for $64.99 minus the promotional $14.99."

AA: "Okay, how much is that, then?"

CSR: "Well, that would be $64.99 minus the $14.99 credit. So, um, yeah. That's the total."

What?!

AA: "Okay, I'll do the math. That's $50.00, without the add ons so far. So, where is the $29.99 deal that I'm seeing on this paper you sent me? How do I get that price?"

CSR: "Okay, I will now need your social security number and I will run a check to see if we can give you the equipment for free."
AA: "You're going to run a credit check to give me the receiver to watch your channels?"
CSR: "Well, it's not like a real credit check, like when you buy a house or car."
AA: "Oh, okay, good. So what kind of credit check is it?"
CSR: "Um, well, it's just, well, you know, it's not like the one where you buy a house or car. It's just to see if we can trust you with our equipment. Like, if you ever kept one before."
AA: "Oh, so a background check then?"
CSR: "Well, no...I mean, really...it's just like a credit check. But not."
Yeah, thanks for clearing that up, crazy sales rep!

I'm going to have to summarize, because I was on the phone with her, and eventually one of her coworkers, for 45 minutes. This is the last few minutes of the call:

AA: "Can you tell me the total I will be charged today, for delivery?"
CSR: "I think we said $42.99." I write this down in my register.

AA: "But wait, I thought it was $19.99?
CSR: "Oh, yes, it's $19.99." I scribble out $42.99 and meticulously pen in "$19.99".
AA: "Plus tax?"
CSR: "Uh, yeah."
AA: "So that would be....?" Long pause.
CSR: "Okay, yes, that would be $36.99." No, I did not even attempt the why in the world is there $17 taxes on a $20 service charge question. Or the even better, you advertise NO START UP fees...but just charged me a $19.99 shipping fee. To get me started. No, that would have extended the conversation another 30 minutes.

I scribbled out the wrong price for the 2nd time and added the correct, I HOPE, final price for today's non service charge. Or whatever.
AA: "Now can you tell me about your internet service deal with AT&T?"
CSR: "Yes, I can give you a number to call and they will give you another number to call and get help with that question."

Great. Thanks.
And that's exactly what she did. The 3rd woman was not an original English speaking person and at one point I heard myself saying to her: "Well, that was totally confusing...."
What's your crazy sales rep story? Cause you know you have one too....

Jobless

2011-09-14T10:42:00.000-04:00

So, I haven't posted this on Facebook or on the blog till now, but almost 3 weeks ago Chad lost his job. We were given a 2 week warning, which is just long enough to stress & freak out, not long enough to save any money worth mentioning.

During those two weeks leading up to his last day, I worried. I prayed. I tried to find my faith that this was for the best, but to be honest, I couldn't find it. I was worried he'd end up working as a cashier at McDonald's and we'd lose our house, etc. And through all that, I kept on reading my Bible, praying, teaching Sunday School. Because that's the worse time to give up and let up...it's when you need your help the most!

Three days after he was let go, we went to Sunday School then to mom & dad's for our weekly family dinner. I hadn't felt anything special during the service, no one prayed for me and told me it was all going to work for our good. But we were driving home after dinner and I realized that I was happy. More than happy - full of JOY. I was so content, relaxed, the very opposite of worried. And for the first time, I just KNEW it was going to work out for our good.
I don't know how. I don't know when. But I know God has better things in store for us. I do not see them AT ALL. This is a crazy bad time to be unemployed...in the world's eyes. But I'm a child of a King, the King, and we're going to be okay!

So, as it stands, we are job hunting, praying for direction, and expecting to receive it in God's time. Right now he has accepted an offer to train as a manager at Taco Bell, but it doesn't start for another 2 weeks. We have applied for unemployment but haven't received a check yet.

And yet, we are totally fine. God has already sent money in from two unexpected sources, JUST when we needed it. Just like He always does!

I decided during those two weeks leading up to his last day that I was NOT going to worry & stress & cry my way through this. God has proved me over & over that He can and will take care of me, regardless of how bad it looks. Who am I to ask Him to prove it again before I just TRUST Him to do it again?!

So, there you have it. We are jobless (the photography thing isn't paying quiet yet) but loving it. It feels like a vacation, actually. Without spending money, lol

Please don't feel sorry for us. If you want to do anything, just pray for continued peace and direction. God is guiding us, but sometimes we get in our own way. He opens the door we are to walk in, sometimes we just need a good shove. :)

The Eyes of the Lord...

2011-09-13T14:02:00.000-04:00

I discovered one of my top favorite verses of all time just last year. I was in the middle of 2 Chronicles when I came upon this story:

Asa, Kind of Judah, received word from the Lord saying if he would seek after God, God would be with him as long as Asa was with God (2 Chronicles 15:2). But if he forsook the Lord, the Lord would forsake him.

Verse 4 says that "But when they in their trouble did turn unto the Lord God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found of them." (speaking of times past)

Over and over again, Israel had walked away from what they knew was right, away from God's laws & ways. Then, they would get into deep trouble and, over & over, cry out to God for help. They didn't listen to Him to stay out of trouble, but every time they got in a mess, guess where they went. In the middle of their trouble, they called on God and asked for His help and, time and time again, He delivered them.

That says SO much about God; how gracious and forgiving He is! These were not good people. They were whiny, disobedient, head strong. Yet He loved them so much that He couldn't stay mad at them. Couldn't leave them in their mess. Oh, He let them for a little while, just like a good parent will at times. But He always brought them back to the land of promise, cleaned up their messes, fought their enemies off.

So the people cry out to God, making a new covenant to follow after the one, true God ONLY. They tore up the altars to false gods, kicked out the sodomites, burned down the idols (1 Kings 15:12).

And God gave them peace with their enemies, until the latter part of King Asa's reign.

To condense the story, basically Israel attacked Judah (the nation was split at this time) in the 36th year of Asa's reign as King and instead of calling on God, this time he made a pact with Syria for protection from King Baasha of Israel.

God was MAD. He sent a seer, Hanani, to Asa saying, Did I not deliver you out of the hand of the Ethiopians & Lubims, a much larger host of people?! And now you pay some MAN to help you?

And then He says it.

"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew Himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect [complete, friendly, full] toward Him."

He goes on to tell Asa that because he relied on man to help him, from then on he would have war with his enemies.

All because Asa didn't ask GOD for help in the middle of his trouble! I'm thinking He still feels that way. That if I would just ASK him for help, no matter how worthless or undeserving I feel, He is just waiting, in fact LOOKING for the chance to step in and help me out.

He tells King David, in Psalms 50, If I were in hungry, I would not tell you. And I do not want your blood offerings and your sheep. This is all I ask for:

"Offer to God thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High. Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify Me." (Psalm 50:14 & 15, NKJV)

Does that sound like a God that doesn't want to help you? It sounds to me as though He's sitting on the edge of His seat, searching the whole earth, just looking for a chance to do something mighty in someone's terrible situation! And all He asks is that we, first, CALL on Him. And second, have a heart toward Him. Friendly, full, complete, perfect. Just a heart for God.

Try it. Invite Him into your mess. I have a feeling He's just been waiting on you to ask, ever the gentle God.

Busy Little Bee

2011-08-23T22:13:00.000-04:00

I've been crazy busy trying to finish up the edits on the wedding we did last month, plus the shoot we did two weeks ago on two little adorable girls. Editing is fun but soooo time consuming. And actually, more stressful than fun right now because I'm still finding my "voice" in the process.

Like, am I more of a natural light type of photographer? And what does that even mean?! Then, do I like the "obviously edited" pics or prefer the more natural, straight off the memory card look? And does it even matter what I like?!

So, I'm finding my way and in the mean time customers want to see their pics! So, here's a couple from the wedding that I really like. Not sure I'm sticking with these edits, but at least you'll see what I've been up to.

Abstract photos are not my best, but this is one of my favorite shots.

This is the cream look - like it?

I love these kind of shots - can you feel his nerves?!

LOVE this moment! I can hear them saying, Whaat?

This was right after he FOUND the ring on the floor, behind a chair:

Those are smiles of great relief!

To be honest, I don't feel satisfied with the editing I've done. Also, I prefer b&w or creamtones, aged photos, to color...but not sure if the bride does. I should have asked before I did all this work, huh.

So, that's what I've been up to. You?

For Angie

2011-08-16T11:31:00.001-04:00

Recently I was really struggling with my faith in God to provide for our financial needs. He always has, eventually, but there have been times I've paid my bills late or had to borrow money and those old fears were trying to return and settle in my heart.

The truth is, looking back, I was not serving God like I should when I couldn't pay my bills or had to borrow money. I can see now where I was going my own way, doing my own thing, then asking God to deliver me when I got into trouble as a result. And, being the smart parent He is, He let me feel the pain of my wrong choices.

Once I began to fix my relationship with Him, to go HIS way, ask for wisdom making hard decisions, and then follow the path He lead me to, THEN He began to deliver me out of the mess I was in. There is a confidence in God that comes when you know you are doing your best to follow His will for your life. Then, you can say, God brought me to it, He's going to take me THROUGH it!

So, in the particular case, I was praying as I mowed the grass, with my headphones on. I giving God a list of all the stuff coming at us, telling Him how I needed Him to fix things - :) And suddenly this song came on my mp3 player:

I've had many tears and sorrows

I've had questions for tomorrow

There have been times I didn't know right from wrong

But in every situation God gave blessed consolation
That my trials come only to make me strong.

So I thank God for the mountains

and I thank Him for the valleys

I thank Him for every storm He's brought me through

For if I never had a problem

I wouldn't know that God could solve them

I wouldn't know what faith in His Word can do

Through It All

by Andre Crouch

Needless to say, I busted out crying and sobbed for 15 minutes as I mowed the yard and played this song over & over. I had church on my riding lawn mower.

He simply reminded, again, that every time I face something, He's right beside me, walking in front of me, and guarding my back. He's taking me through it all!

Sunday sermon

2011-08-14T14:45:00.000-04:00

That's how long the song I shared with you a week ago has been #1 on the Contemporary Christian Music Charts. (That was a mouthful!) Looks like I'm not the only one that song is speaking to, eh?!

I still slow down whatever I'm doing and soak in the words every time it plays on my phone or radio. God's little reminder that whatever I'm going through, it's all a part of His great plan for my life. The good, the bad, the hopelessly overwhelming. So, congrats, Laura Story! May the success help pay your bills so you have more time to write anointed songs for the rest of us :)

Today I taught part two on the life & times of Nehemiah in the adult Sunday School.
Nehemiah is such a great example, not only as a Godly leader but also as a Christian.

First, when he received the report that his homeland was still in disarray, unguarded and not being rebuilt, he became burdened. He fasted, he prayed, his countenance was changed, saddened. So much so, the king noticed and asked Nehemiah what was wrong with him!

Too often it's easy for me to ignore the chaos I see around me or tune out the pain I hear in others' voices and go about my business as usual. All the while praying for God to bless me, give me a burden, let me be a help to someone...and He's already showed me what needs to be done. He's already put someone in my path that I can help, even if just with a hug, a prayer, a phone call.

But Nehemiah didn't pass the buck, he took up the cause and petitioned the king to send him to his homeland, Israel, that he might rebuilt the wall of protection around Jerusalem.

First, he has to rally the troops. 50,000+ Jews are living in the area and they are whipped, uninspired...not doing so hot. Been there, done that...have the t-shirt, mug, and magnet.

Some are remnants left behind from the carrying away into Babylon but most are the captives that returned with Ezra, some 50 years before, I believe (fuzzy on the dates). They started a good work but they've lost their zeal, their passion to rebuilt the temple, repair the wall, and become the nation God called them to be.

The Book of Revelations calls it losing your first love...sound familiar?

But Nehemiah is persistent, stubborn in a good way and he fights the good fight to do what he came to do. Fights gossip, rumors of attacks, distractions...all by his fellow Jews! Ouch. What's the proverb, about your enemies being those of your own house?!

And 52 days later, the wall is complete! Nehemiah is so joyful, he forms two choirs to march around the wall and sing praise & thanksgiving to God; they are so loud that the people outside Jerusalem hear it!

Now, God didn't come down there and build that wall for them. He didn't stop the enemy from running their mouth....but He strengthened Nehemiah to finish his task. In fact, that's all Nehemiah asked for: "O God, strengthen my hands." (6:9) Not, Please get me out of this mess! Or, deliver us, O God! He just asked God to strengthen him to work another day.

Why does this matter? Because we are all in a fight: a fight to keep worldly un-morals out of our lives, to keep peace in our homes, to be a witness in a dark, nasty world. To remain faithful against hopelessness...it's a fight. But Paul called it a good fight. A cause worth fighting for.

So, when I struggle, when I want out, when I want it to be easy, God help me to ask for strength to endure instead, like my big brother Nehemiah.

Ben's 1st Day of School - Pt. 2

2011-08-12T00:27:00.001-04:00

So, after I took Ben to his first day of Kindergarten (we skipped preschool, for the strangers in the audience), I was positively giddy with the possibilities: lunch by myself, a leisurely (omgosh, so that's what that word looks like!) walk through a store or even (GASP!) a BOOK store...OR...Starbucks and a book....I almost started crying at the thought!

Then, remembered my hateful, anti Starbucks budget and headed to McDonalds. Oh my gosh, the irony of going to McDonalds without Ben on my first childless day just hit me right in the face.

A caramel frappe (try it and you'll have me to blame for the new addiction) later, I headed to one of my favorite kid-unfriendly stores, TJ Maxx. Yes, I walked down almost every single aisle, touching glass vases and pouring through racks of clothes I didn't need just because I could.
Because Ben wasn't yelling, "CAN WE LEAVE?!"

I went to the post office and mailed some packages without worrying about Ben going nuts in the line. I smiled at total strangers because I was happy. Not stressed. Not playing 101 questions on what I could buy/do/take him.

Okay, I'm starting to feel bad, lol. Ben is not a monster. He's not even a brat. He may be a little hyper active, I'm starting to realize, like his daddy. Hmmm.

So anyway, my day was wonderful. I went grocery shopping, something I loathe doing with Ben because he wants to touch everything, buy everything, and then freak out when I take too long. I'm starting to realize how little patience he has.

Ha! I'm gonna tell God on him, now that I think about it! He has ways of producing patience ;)

Anyway, I ended up spending 4 hours in town, then came home and cleaned my house from top to bottom, including mopping & vacuuming and dishes...just in time to pick the kids up from school. I felt so productive! And happy! And calm!

I know I'll look back one day and wish I could do it all over again. At least, I think I will. Everyone says you do and I already miss the baby days. They were good years, but I'm ready for the next stage. He's ready. It's time. And it is looking good!

I'm looking forward to all the work I'll get done while the kids are in school, so I can better enjoy my evenings with them. I am tired of hearing myself say, I can't play with you right now, I have to finish something.

Oh, funny story (to end on). I actually sat in a parking lot yesterday and talked to Beth on the phone for an hour, while waiting on the bank to open (I had no idea they don't open till 8:30am!). I kept thinking, Ben would be freaking out right about now saying, "Can we GO yet?"

Today I had to run some errands and he was with me. I came to a stop sign and had to wait for traffic to slow so I could pull out. Sure enough, I hear, "What are you waiting for!?" I turned, gave him my Oh no you don't! face and he just smiled sheepishly.

A few minutes later I pulled up to a red light. Not 10 seconds later he yelled, "GO!"
Yeah, I won't miss that part at all, lol. I gave him the Do Not Tell Mommy What To Do speech for the 10th time today, wherein he apologized, per usual. Which lasted 5 minutes. Per usual.

Did I mention I've been praying for his teacher?!

Ben's 1st Day of School - Pt. 1

2011-08-12T00:01:00.001-04:00

Okay, I'm going to admit something that moms aren't supposed to say out loud, probably. Good moms, anyway.

I have been COUNTING DOWN the days till Ben starts school for a long time now. Doesn't that sound just awful?!

Don't judge me till you've been his slave for 24 hours straight.

I love that kid. He is my baby. I get all soft and mushy inside when I think about my youngest child. He's the one that, from day one, had to sleep in my arms, tucked under my chin.

But, long story short, that cute little cuddly baby grew into a demanding, bossy, needy 5 year old.

His first question every single morning is: Where are we going today? I am a hermit, so this is the LAST thing I want to do, leave the house. If I say no where, he starts The Game.

YOU know the one:

Can we go to Beffie's (Beth')? No.
Why not? Because Beth is working.
Can we go to WalMart? No, I don't need to go to WalMart today.
How about we go to McDonald's? No, we're just going to stay home today.

Then, the bargaining starts:

If you take me to McDonald's, I'll wet you doe to WalMart! (This is when I start laughing. Or pulling my hair out, depending my current stress level.)

Then, he eats every 1-2 hours. We eat pretty healthy and apples are one of his favorite snacks. He's been known to eat an entire bag of apples in ONE day. My mom watched him for me a few months ago and told me later, "I thought you were kidding...but I literally fed that boy all day long!"

I don't mind, really. I know he's a growing boy and has a hollow leg. In fact, his knees are already as big as my 10 yr old's. But it's hard to get into the flow of editing pictures or updating a website reading my Bible...ANY thing and have to keep getting up to get him something or play a million questions about what I'm doing today.

Even Katie told me today: "He's needy! He needs constant entertainment!"

Because some of this stuff is just boredom talking. I watch him and when he gets tired of playing with something, he looks around then looks at me, sees me working, and he must think to himself, she doesn't look busy enough....i need to give her something to do.

"I'M. HUNGRY!"

All. Day. Long.

I've tried setting aside a time to do these things with him, so he'll let me do what I need to do in peace. Doesn't work. And yes, I've bought snacks he can get for himself, drinks, etc.... Then he wants a hot dog, heated up. And when he doesn't eat it fast enough and it cools off, he wants it reheated (he has a real issue with food temperature!). And yes, I've tried not doing it. He goes on a hunger strike and, well, I'm a mom. I can't let that go on for too long. I went through too much pain & suffering to get him here!

That's why I was so happy to meet his teacher. She will be able to set boundaries and enforce them because, face it, it's not HER kid!

I've been praying for this woman since I met her. She seems very capable; sweet, yet firm. Exactly what Ben needs. He really seems to like her, which is so great, but it's only been one day. He starts a full week next Monday and then he's in for a rude awakening. They did "fun" stuff on his first day, like make play dough, play on the playground, color, met a bear...or so he says.

Monday, the gloves come off and he get so "learn", something he says he hates to do, lol. I can't wait!

Ben is a smart cookie. Probably the brightest of all my kids at this particular age. Are moms allowed to say that out loud either? But it's true. He needs the mental stimulation, the constant activity, and someone who will refuse to play The Game with him. Or is better at it than I am, lol.

So, that day was yesterday. He's already asked if he could go back to "stool".
Um, YES!

As for what I did while he was away, that's a whole other post...but it involved the Spongebob Squarepants song, "Best day ever...!"

PS: I was SO excited about getting him there, I totally forgot to take pictures of his first day of school! I know, bad photographer/mommy. So, Monday we are doing a redo :)

I ♥ Faces!

2011-08-09T11:49:00.002-04:00

I love to check out what other photographers are up to and one great way to do that is through blogs & contests. Combine those two genres and you have "I Heart Faces", "an award winning photography website with weekly photo challenges, tutorials, tips & lots of fun!"

My favorite part is that it's open to photographers of every level and especially MOMS. We moms love our cameras!

(I've been known to refer to my own as The Fifth Child - or better, when the kids aren't around!)

*Drumroll*

I've entered my first iheartfaces contest! This week's theme is "Friendship" in honor of National Friend Week and you must submit a photo that best embodies friendship. The photo can include another person or even a pet, but it must have at least one human face showing.

I call it: What chu lookin' at, Willis?!

(Did I just age myself or what?)

Just kidding. But seriously...

I know it's not one of my best pictures, but it makes me smile every time I see it. I took this last fall when Daisy had been with us just a few months. She was the most adorable puppy ever! She's still a beautiful dog and she still looks at Chad with that same "Whaaaat?!" expression on her face (also the real title of my picture).

So, there's my submission on Friendship. Just don't tell Katie her dad & dog are BFFs!

Click on the link or type in http://www.iheartfaces.com/ to visit this awesome photography website.

PS: This is NOT one of those "vote for me!" posts. You don't have to do a thing, they will judge the photo and announce the winner sometime this week - fingers crossed!

Teenagers: God's Revenge

2011-08-06T15:55:00.000-04:00

Today is Ben's "big birfday party", wherein we invite all the family and most of the friends to over to celebrate. Celebrate: meaning to eat tons of food, talk loud and nonstop, and play highly competitive games of badminton and volleyball.

Good times :)

In honor of my little boy growing up, check out this youtube video I found the other day. A christian comedian, I forget his name, has great insight into teenagers. It's just a few minutes and I bet you laugh out loud several times!

Teenagers

Goodbye, Comfort Zone!

2011-08-03T22:18:00.001-04:00

Most of my family & friends already know this, but about 6 months ago my sister, Louise, & I decided to go into business for ourselves. I fell in love with photography around age 11, probably because of my Dad's mom. She always had a nice camera laying around, the 35mm with all the fancy buttons...I thought she was a pro!

Every single time we visited her in Indiana, I would head straight for the photo albums. She had, and has, a passion to capture everyone and everything that she loves on film, and she passed that love on to me.

In fact, she bought my very first camera around that time, for Christmas: the 110. Remember those? I thought I was big stuff! I still have pictures I took with my little 110. Thank you, Grandma. (she also bought me my first purse & first nice pair of dressy shoes - Chad says you created a monster & thanks a lot!)

Now, Louise is braver than I am and jumped right in last December, buying the professional camera and all the trimmings she would need to get started. But I am my father's daughter,so I researched & worried for 6 months before I finally took the plunge last month and bought my own set up.

We named our photography business Forever Photography because, even though nothing material last forever, pictures are probably next best thing for preserving a memory. We designed the website, www.foreverphotog.com, printed up business cards, added a Facebook page, here, and started praying. Seriously.

Louise called Grandma and asked her to pray. Grandma went one step further & added our new little business to her prayer chain. Three days later, we had 3 jobs!

Don't you love Him?! I love how HE loves moving even in the little things, the buried desires of our heart.

So, it began. It's been soooo hard for me to step out of my comfort zone in some areas. Dealing with strangers face to face, setting a price and sticking with it, editing to please the customer, not me (still working on that one!).

But I love it! I'm so glad we did this. I didn't want to wait another 10 or 20 years and look back to thing, Why didn't I at least try?! I already have a few of those regrets and I'm trying hard to not add to the list.

In honor of jumping out of my comfort zone, I just signed up for something totally cool and new for me: World Wide Photo Walk - thanks to my cousin, Linn.

Please, keep us in your prayers. I feel so honored when someone chooses us to shoot their portrait, birthday, or wedding. In fact, I have to stop myself from talking them out of it! I want to tell them, but this other lady is SO good!

Which is why we're cheap ;)

Have you stepped out of your comfort zone lately? Tell me about it!

Blessings in Disguise

2011-08-02T12:07:00.003-04:00

One of the main reasons I quit blogging is that it is so hard to filter every word I write, think about who in my family or circle of friends might read it (& possibly recognize themselves!). It was too much, so I stopped. Then joined Facebook. LOL! Talk about no filter! Plus, people you haven't seen in 20 years can now judge every single thing you do & say publicly!

But I am so full again with things going on in my life and relationship with God and writing stuff down has always been therapeutic for me. Facebook can't handle what I want to say, so hear I am. And this next stuff is what led me to start back up when I did (some of it is repeat from Facebook, so bear with me):

Last week I was driving & praying about some very hard situations in several different friends' lives, asking God to bless them. Most of them are financial, as it always seems to go, so my prayer is usually, GIVE THEM MONEY. Better jobs. Overtime. Money trees ;)

But some of them are dealing with things that money can't fix. Unhappy marriages, single parenting, terrible bosses/neighbors/family...you name it. Everyone I know has some difficult situation they are asking God to intervene in.

As I prayed, my ears picked up on the same word, "blessings", over & over on the radio, so I paused & turned it up. When you are desperate to hear from God, you start looking at billboards differently, searching for some deeper, hidden meaning...and songs become direct words from God...or so you hope ;)

This is the song I heard. It's also in my playlist, to the right, so you can click & hear it as I did. Before you do, let me tell you a little about the woman that wrote it.

Laura Story is the woman who wrote the song Chris Tomlin made famous, Indescribable (I added it to the playlist as well, for those who live on another planet & haven't heard it!).
A year & a half into her marriage her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. You can hear her testimony in her own words here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5ljV_RA0CM

She wrote this song, though, after years of ups & downs, prayers & tears, frustration with unanswered prayers, wondering if God was even listening, didn't He care...sound familiar?! Guess that's why it spoke to me so loudly. I added my thoughts in bold & parenthesis in the margin.

Blessings

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things (An easy life is a lesser blessing?)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near (Ohhh. I see.)
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise (Because the goal is to know you more..and how better to get to know you...)

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near (it's like she can read minds!)
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough (Ouch!)
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long we'd have faith to believe (again, ouch.)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
It's not our home (My one of my favorite promises...we're pilgrims & aliens!)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy (this is where I usually cry)
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

See what I'm talking about? She gets it. What a great understand of how this thing, this relationship & getting to know God, works! The harder my trial, the more I learn to lean on Him. The more I get to know Him in ways I wouldn't even consider, had I not stayed up nights praying & listening for His voice. WOW. I don't like it, but I get it.

So, I'm trying to look at things a little differently now. Trials are opportunities to see God move, dark times are opportunities for the SON to shine brighter.

I may need you to remind me of this next week, next month, next pitfall.

A whole handful of birthdays

2011-08-01T22:31:00.004-04:00

Today is the day!

Ben has been counting down to his 5th birthday since, well, last August. So, today has been Ben Day. The Day of Ben. Wait, isn't that the name of the year, too?

I won't bore you with "5 years ago today I was...". My favorite way to share memories, of course...photos!

My gorgeous boy

His new "smile" face...not loving it!

Eying the presents

Aunt Louise was tickling him out of the serious mood he was in

Brothers & cousins

Miss Betty Crocker's cookie brownie is to DIE for. Almost. A lot. Seriously!

He asked me this morning how old he was, so I asked him, "How old do you think you are?" He thought about it a minute then threw up a hand with all 5 fingers raised.

"That's right! You're the big 5 years old today!"

He pondered that a sec then asked,

"But when will I big 6 like Mitah!?"

And so it will go for the next 364 days.

I told you so!

2011-08-01T22:26:00.005-04:00

Borrowed from Facebook:

Sometimes God says yes. Sometimes God says no. Sometimes God says I told you so.

Which leads to something I've always suspected:

Most of my troubles are self made.

Socialism...share the love

2011-08-01T15:40:00.003-04:00

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said,

"OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that. Remember, there is a test coming up: the next presidential election in 2012!

I'm baaack!

2011-08-01T00:07:00.003-04:00

A friend recently informed me that it has been almost a year and a half since my last post - wow! The fact she even looked that up made me feel guilty somehow - thanks Annette!

The truth is, things are finally starting to settle down a little. Ben, my baby, turns 5 tomorrow and in one week he starts Kindergarten. For the first time in almost 12 years, I will be child free during the day. I'm giddy with excitement, let me tell you! I wasn't ready for this day with Katie...nor Ethan...and definitely like my little Micah. But Ben is ready. I'm ready. We're doing this!

A quick update for my 2nd 1st post:

As mentioned, my baby turns 5 tomorrow, August 1st. 5 years ago I was stressing out over who in the world would babysit my other 3 when the time came for me to have my baby. We were stationed in D.C., I hadn't yet moved on base & met my soon to be BFF Jacklyn, one of the few people EVER that I'd be able to trust with my kids. But God provided, someone from my church stepped up and, though not ideal, it all worked out. And Baby Ben came into the world kicking & screaming :)

Then, in 2 weeks, my firstborn will celebrate her 12th birthday.

WoW.

Those birthdays just keep on coming, making me older & older. I'll post more on her later but need to know is that she starts middle school next week, something I am refusing to stress over. She's covered in prayer, she has strong morals...she'll be fine.

Ethan is 10 and going through a really rough period right now. My little sweet boy has developed a smart mouth and we're dealing with it. Pray for him. I think he needs a good friend, among other things.

Little Micah Fisher is still Mr. Sweetie except he has now transferred all his love to my new sister in law, Juli. And her bridesmaid. And the female DJ at her wedding. I'm nursing a serious broken heart over that one!

We're all good, despite job & financial stress. We're happy, incredibly blessed in the health & love department, and really...isn't that what matters most?

Oh, and I started a photography business with my sister, Louise! It's a life long dream and God seriously led me to this point and I am SO excited! A little overwhelmed, but excited!

Forever Photography is on Facebook and we have a website! www.foreverphotog.com - all the other cool names were taken ;) (Just kidding, business partner...I really do like the name!)

Since I know I have really only 3 die hard fans, I've tagged you three to receive emails every time i update. You were the only three that nagged me to restart the blog :D
Let me know if that gets inconvenient.

I also made it mobile phone capable. So you can view it on your smart phone in an easier to read mode than a regular sized webpage. If you have a not so smart phone, you're outta luck ;)

Anyway, I love you girls - Jacklyn, Annette, & Angie - and this is for you! (Let me know when you are sick of the minute details of my boring life!)

God's voice

2010-04-28T17:15:00.003-04:00

A couple of days ago, Katie, my 10 year old, asked me what God's voice sounds like in my head. I tried to explain that I don't necessary hear a "voice". I hear thoughts that I know are not my own. I hear Him through my pastor, in conversation with a fellow believer, in the words of a radio preacher, in the lyrics of a song. When God wants to speak to you, He will. The more you tune your ear to Him, the harder you listen, the sooner you realize that He's been speaking all along, you just weren't paying attention!

I've prayed for my husband for years now, that God would speak to him, draw him, "woo" him even. I wanted Chad to have a definitive experience with God, to know beyond a doubt just how much God loves him. I think we all need that knowledge in us. That faith that can't be shaken that no matter what you do, how much you fail, God is always there waiting to forgive and still love you. Just like you love your children, regardless of their faults, He loves you that much...and then some!

Monday night I came home from church to find my husband "listening for the voice of God." He casually told me that God had been talking to him for days, getting up in his business, and he had he decided to seek Him, hear His voice, and see what God wanted from him.

Talk about surprised!

He told me he was tired of running from God, tired of living his own life, tired of being unhappy...he was ready to serve God, go God's way. He said he rededicated his life to God, all alone, sitting at home!

He still didn't feel at total peace. He said he didn't feel "done". I know the devil likes to mess with our minds, tell us that since we didn't feel anything, it wasn't real. But this is all by FAITH, baby! Whether you feel it or not, when God draws you and you respond, it's done!

I knew he just needed to let God touch him, he needed to totally surrender. The next night, last night, he went to church with me, voluntarily, and made a public confession of faith during the altar service. God finished the work, cleaned him up and out, and when Chad got up from the altar, he was a "new creature!"

So, yeah, I've got a brand new husband!!!

I encourage you to listen for God's voice today. Talk to him like your best friend, ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Then, listen.

Oh, and by the way, during that conversation with my 10 year, she told me that she hears God in the voice of Obi Wan Kanobi. So, there you go. How do you hear God's voice?

Benny, Joel, & Oprah...oh my!

2010-04-21T16:32:00.006-04:00

I just finished watching a 10 minute video of Benny Hinn, the evangelist, on youtube and I am SO thrilled! The heading says "Benny Hinn confronts Joel Olsteen and Oprah" - well, you had me at Olsteen, but I'd pay money to see someone confront Oprah on her misguided beliefs. Believe a lie if you want, but don't recruit, for heaven's sake!

In the video, he tells about seeing a certain tv evangelist (I'm assuming Olsteen because of the title) going on Larry King Live. King asks the evangelist if Jesus is the only way to God and the tv preacher says, "Well, that's up to God." Um, yes, genius, it is and fortunately He already made that decision and then wrote an entire book about it (a.k.a, The Holy Bible)!

What made me so excited is that Hinn actually calls Olsteen a COWARD! He never mentions his name, at least not in the clip I saw, but he keeps referring to him as a coward, even saying maybe he has a devil! I love this so much, not because I never hear this type of preaching...I mean, have you heard my dad lately??? No, this is the kind of truth I hear on a regular basis. But, up until today, I had my concerns that there were any preachers on tv bold enough to call a spade a spade.

Then, he takes on OPRAH. I don't, but it seems lately that a large part of the world considers her a step below God. Or, in some cases, probably equal to God. I admit, I used to really like her. She was blunt, she didn't care what people thought, she was funny. Then, I saw her on tv say that Jesus Christ was just ONE of the ways to God (It's on youtube as well). Wonder if she'll regret that one on the Day of Judgement?!

But he was all over her case too, said she needed *help*. PREACH IT!!!

So, today I have a healthy respect for Benny Hinn. I don't know anything else about his life, and he may turn out to be a pedafile or homosexual tomorrow, but today I heard him preaching truth, offending truth, and I am proud to call him a brother!

If you have the time, watch this video. It's only 10 minutes long, but it will make you want to pump your fist in the air and yell, "I am not ashamed! Jesus is THE way!"

http://www.youtube.com/user/ChurchNews#p/a/u/1/n-ej7n7Nhns

PS, I do not actually believe he will turn out to be either of these. That's just my disclaimer that we probably don't see eye to eye on everything and no doubt he has things in his life, just like we all do, that he needs mercy & grace for.

Chaaan-ges!

2010-04-17T19:28:00.004-04:00

Okay, yes, it has been a loooong time since my last post - I'm sorry! I got a little attached to Facebook (and my house), so I let this slide. Honestly, I wasn't sure I even have anything else worth saying...or worth having you read. But if you still want to know what's going on, I'll try to keep telling you.

Things are going very well at the Krupinski house. So good, in fact, I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't exaggerate the annoying, mundane things so as not to tick off those around me. No one likes a REALLY happy person, right?

Anyway, okay, so here's what's new in my world, for those not in the know already.

I got cable! I also found out there is even more garbage on tv now than two years ago, the last time I paid for this junk. Curiously, there are more religious channels on the basic package than I remember. Even curiouser (is it a word!?), I found some interesting stuff on there. More on that later.

I now teach adult Sunday School sometimes. Actually, I think it's been about 7 weeks straight now. I can't think about that for too long or I start sweating. As for how that's going, you'll have to ask someone from the audience. Chad seems to like it, but he also has to sleep next to me and hasn't mastered the one eye open trick yet ;)

Ben's hair has finally grown out and he now sports the beach bum look I love on him. Sorry, Mom! People keep commenting on his natural highlights, so I'll try to get a picture of that soon. He's so very cute. Especially when he's asleep ;)

Also, I finally got fed up just a second ago with getting him a drink every 20 minutes, gave him a cup, and sent him to the bathroom sink. I'm wondering why I haven't done this sooner! (Have a feeling my bathroom floor no longer needs mopped, so two birds/one stone!)

Did I mention I'm deliriously happy and content with my life? It's scary, actually. If I know anything of life, it's that it never stays this peaceful for long. I'm trying to enjoy it and not worry it away. God is in control of my future.

I just asked Chad if he felt this way. So blessed that you wonder how it can last and what will happen to destroy it. No complaints. He said, "I have complaints, so don't worry about it." LOL.

Like, if you asked me to, yes, I could name some things I want. More money on Chad's paycheck, a job that doesn't destroy his ankles, less allergies for Ethan & Micah, Katie to have a really great friend...yeah, I have those. A lawn mower, a safety net for the trampoline...okay, I found a few wants, lol. But lately I've noticed I don't feel any of that. It doesn't weigh me down. I just feel....blessed.

I think there were times I felt like this in the past: I remember feeling so content in Japan, and in D.C. I missed my family, I wished for a good friend like my sisters, but I still felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

So, maybe that's it. I know I am in God's will for my life. How can I be so sure? Cause this is not what I had planned but I got here by following God. Hmmmm. I'll have to think about that.

Chad is now obsessing about how his life is so not perfect and why. I tried to explain again what I mean.

Me: "Sure, I don't have everything I want, but I don't lack anything I need." (Deep, right? I'm gonna write that one down!)

Chad: "Well, I need a four wheeler and Katie needs a dog. So we have needs!"

@@. That's my sarcastic eyeroll.

Anyway, Chad also says I should shut up now so my friends won't hate me. I have missed talking on here, God knows I need to get it all out somewhere! I'll try to do that here from now on. So, you can stop with the subtle hints on FB, You Who Shall Not Be Named!!!

If a picture says a thousand words...

2010-01-23T10:39:00.005-05:00

I'll let the pics do the talkin':

I loved sitting in the den at night & just relaxing.

I didn't even get out ALL of my decorations LOL - I have about 10 huge boxes!

A better view

Front door - matched the blue icicle lights hanging from the roof.

Do you know how many times I came home to find: oH oH oH?!

I'm a dork, I know...

I got to redo this door 3 times, thanks to Ben & Micah LOL:

View from the kitchen window:

Can't see it all, but it says :BELIEVE in the magic of Christmas

And one of my favorite pass times...

You just would not believe how fun and relaxing a fireplace is! Katie & I are becoming master fire builders!

So there you have it - my first Christmas in our new home!

Ta Da!!!!

2009-11-29T22:51:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's been 19 days since I wrote a blog. I do this mainly for me and I got to where I did not want to write down one more time just how frustrated I was about not having a house.

But today I have good news :D

We have an appointment tomorrow, at 4pm, to close on our home.

I'm doing cartwheels on the inside!!!!

At this point, after hearing we'd close on a certain day and then having that yanked away from us, twice, I'm cautiously optimistic. I'll update as soon as I can. That may be a while, as I plan on immediately leaving the title company, driving straight to storage, packing up our first load, and moving it into my new home.

Okay, I'm prolly a little beyond cautiously optimistic now. Oh, well!

Life & Death

2009-11-06T16:35:00.008-05:00

"Like apples of gold on pictures of silver."

I drove over Graveyard Hill (a nickname) the other day and found it covered in fog, with beautiful fall leaves all over the place. I had Ben with me so we pulled in and I started snapping pictures like a fiend. I turned my back for 5 seconds and guess what my little boy was doing: marking his territory. Yep, desecrating a grave stone. Boys and dogs @@.

Anyway, I can't decide which one I like best. You decide!

A girl moment...

2009-11-05T17:10:00.004-05:00

Okay, I'm going to do a total girl thing and ask:

To bangs or not to bangs? I like the shorter cut, mostly. It has grown on me and is SO easy to take care of now. But I think I need some longish bangs. And maybe at a gradual slant on the sides. Need to hide that lake of a forehead (thanks, Dad!)

Whatcha think?

Also, straight vs. curly?

Straight...

or curly
Leave comments & suggestions, please!

For Friend Sissy...

2009-11-04T19:11:00.002-05:00

And all others who are waiting on pins & needles with me: still no phone call!

As for my appointment with Brian last Thursday, it went really well, considering we had to switch to a FHA loan at the end of the process, which he said was basically like starting over and added another week or more till we close.

He was very helpful, though, and explained every single thing in great detail, including how I can set up my own ammorization (sp?) schedule in Excel. And told me I could call him later if I forget how. He was SO nice and smart and articulate...something I forgot existed after dealing with Bobby the Baffoon for 3 weeks. Obviously still working on that patience thing.

But, we got everything switched, most of the work had already been done for the VA loan, which had stricter requirements, which means it should have been a breeze to do a FHA. It's not been a breeze, in my opinion. Apparently Brian's processor is still calling my realtor and asking basic questions that should have been covered by now, so I'm assuming we won't be closing this week.

But, that's okay. Chad has a day off next Wednesday, so that would be the ideal day to close, so he doesn't lose a point for missing work. They like to throw big guilt parties for missing work...even if you are sick as a dog or buying a house.

So, I'm still here. Waiting. Praying. Hoping.

When we get really stressed or bummed, we take a little drive out to the property and stand on the deck and plan the back yard. I regret the day I locked the laundry room door...now I can't go in and plan my furniture and bubble baths! But I was afraid I'd walk in to find some bum in my tub and have to hurt some homeless person. This way, I avoid jail time.

And that's my update. As soon as I find something out, I'll be sure to post asap!

Update Smupdate

2009-10-28T15:36:00.005-04:00

I've learned a valuable lesson today. If you choose a business based on the person you speak with on the phone, only to get to the business and be handed over to someone else...you should worry.

If the person you are passed over to seems to be slightly incompetent and sloooooooow...worry!

If, every time you call that person and they bumble around and start 4 different sentences before finally finishing one...RUN!

Seriously.

So, obviously, I do not bear good news. I chose a mortgage company based on speaking with the owner on the phone several times and really liking him. He was older, in his 70's, and he didn't try to sugar coat anything, didn't try to do whatever it took to get my business. He was honest, told me the house I was looking into buying was NOT a good deal and I should hold off and keep looking. I respected that, took his advice, along with others, and moved on.

When it came time to purchase this house, I gave this man a call and set up an appointment to buy the house through them. But, upon arriving, we were handed off to his son, Bobby, who is in his 50's, and things went downhill from there. It seriously seemed like this may have been his 3rd mortgage ever.

But, we stayed. I think I regret that. I should have said, You know what, we need to talk this over some more...we'll get back to you. Then, drove off.

I guess I'm being melodramtic. I should mention that nothing severe is going on. We are still in contract. I'm just mad.

He told us we'd have no problem closing by the 30th. Then, last week I called him to see where we were at in the process. That's when he told me the investor had almost finished our paperwork then realized it was for a manufactured home, which they no longer loan on, and cancelled the deal.

????????????

Shouldn't he have checked that before sending all of our paperwork to him? For those of you not following the market right now, a lot of things changed recently, like in the past 2-3 months, regarding loans. Most importantly, most investors quit loaning on manufactured homes at all. Period.

The first question I asked every bank and mortgage company was, Do you loan on manufactured homes? 9 times out of 10, I was told NO. So, why didn't our mortgage facilitator know to do this?

I should clarify. Bobby & his mortgage company no longer loan money on homes, they just work with other mortgage investors who do. So, basically, all he does is shop around and find me the best loan. Which is what I was doing before I met him. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me now.

Anyway, they switched to another investor last Tuesday and I was told it would take him about 3-4 days, tops. I found out Friday, he didn't even get our paperwork till Thursday. Monday, I called Bobby again (you know they LOVE me there now, right?) and he hem hawed around again and said he'd check on it for me and call me right back.

Still waiting on that phone call, 2 days later.

I did get a call yesterday from the new guy, Brian. Seems they are concerned about our debt to income ratio. We are doing a VA loan and they have strict guidelines. On paper, it looks like we won't have enough money to make our monthly payment, because they can't take into account that we'll be using the Home Buyer Tax Credit to pay our van loan off completely, erasing the $250 monthly payment.

So, as it stands today, I have an appointment with Brian tomorrow to discuss our options. We can switch to a FHA loan, which has less strenuous guidelines. He also suggested we pay off our van loan before closing. Yeah, right, buddy. And maybe I'll win the lottery (without actually playing) too.

I'm mad and extremely frustrated. Shouldn't Bobby, our mortgage guy, have recognized all of this when he ran our credit that first day? Shouldn't this have been brought up before NOW, a few days from closing?

My real estate agent, Demetra, said yes, he should have been the one to bring this up, weeks ago.

I just prayed two days ago that, if this house is the one God has for us, let the process go quick. If we're going to end up there anyway, why not sooner rather than later?

The only answer I can come up with is this: God is more interested in developing my character than making sure I get what I want, when I want. And by character (Mom!), I mean HIS character. I do believe we are on this earth for a purpose that has nothing to do with material things. Off of the top of my head, we were made to worship Him. To glorify Him. To be His chosen people, His sons & daughters. And to show His character, His nature, to the world. So...He's allowing things to push my buttons and show me the areas I need to work on. Obviously, patience is a biggie ;)

So, please pray for me. I'm failing this test miserably, cause I really want to call up old Bobby and call him an drooling idiot for wasting so much time for us. But, I haven't yet, so maybe there's hope for me yet ;)

I feel better already, just getting all this frustration out. I'll try to come up with something fun & uplifting to post next time!

Still waiting...

2009-10-19T14:55:00.002-04:00

ANY DAY NOW!!!!! That's what the mortgage lady, Shrimp (a nickmame, I hope!), said to me when I called her last Thursday. I'm trying not to blow up her phone and pull a Micah:

"Is it ready?"

"No."

"How about now. Is it ready now?"

"No, it's not ready now."

Silence.

"Now?"

"NO. NOT NOW. It is NOT ready NOW."

Silence.

"Ready NOW?"

"NO! NO, NO, NO....IT IS NOT READY NOW. OR NOW. AND NOT NOW, EITHER!"

Silence.

Giggle.

"NOW???????????"

At least, that's how it went when he pulled that on Daddy two nights ago. It was awesome!
And I have no idea where he learned that trick :D

So, no, I haven't heard anything from the mortgage company, but as soon as I do, you'll be, like, the 5th person I tell! Promise.

House update

2009-10-14T17:55:00.002-04:00

We had been searching like maniacs for Chad's DD214 (the military loves to number their paperwork) for the past week. Seems it's a V.I.D. (very important document - they love their acronyms just as much) (but I made that one up!), which of course means Chad "misplaced" it, probably as soon as he opened it.

Basically, it's the form from the military that shows his time in and out of active duty and proves he is entitled to all the benefits of VA. Meaning, no DD214, no VA loan.

After digging through boxes and boxes of stuff that just makes me cry at seeing, and not finding it, I began to search our crammed bedroom for the 3rd time. Guess where I found it? In a glass (aka see through) candle holder on TOP of our dresser. Where Chad put it so he wouldn't forget it.

Then, we drive 30 minutes one way to the mortgage company's office yesterday to deliver all the final paperwork, and guess what we forget? Yep, DD214!!!

That was a fun ride home.

But, regardless, they finally have everything they needed to turn our paperwork over to the approval department of the THDA loan program. Our lady did say, after I forced her to give me a potential time frame, that we could be closing on the house as early as next Friday!

Can you say, THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

We are waiting on Chad's W2's to arrive in the mail from the past two years. We couldn't find those in storage. They sent off our paperwork without the real copies (oxy moron), but we should have them before time to close. Please pray everything continues to go smoothly. We are very excited and it almost feels like we may really be about to move out of my parents' house. Almost.

Funny for today...

2009-10-14T17:43:00.002-04:00

I admit, this is not my writing, but I sure wish I had come up with it first! I found a really funny blogging daddy online today and this was one of his posts. I laughed so hard, I wanted to share:

SCENES FROM MARRIAGE, NO. 2

Husband: “Ready?”
Wife: “I was waiting for you.”
Husband: “Oh… I was waiting for you.”
Wife: “Well… I’m ready.”
Husband: Great. Shall we go?”
Wife: Sure – just give me five minutes.”

Editor’s note: when husbands were asked if they thought this joke was mildly-to-moderately amusing, 84% said “yes;” when wives were asked the same question, 91% said “What joke? You think it’s easy getting ready? We can’t just hop in the shower and be done. We have to do our hair, put on our make-up, and then clean up the bathroom before we leave because our husbands NEVER do. Seriously, do they want the babysitter to think we’re slobs? And how hard is it to hang up a towel and wipe down the sink, anyway? If you want to talk about getting ready to go out, men are the real joke, and we don’t think it’s funny.”

Check him out at http://www.overcaffeinateddad.com/home, at your own risk (I saw a mild curse word or two).

Random pics

2009-10-12T17:09:00.003-04:00

Dad came home with an unusual present a few weeks ago:

He had mentioned in church one night that he needed a shirt that said, "I see stupid people", like that kid from the movie Sixth Sense. So some crazy person had one made up and gave it to him the next night. He wore it proudly :D

This next picture is why I DREAD rainy days right now:

Thankfully, they clean up good and go to sleep eventually, looking like little angels:

Face painting, yard sales, and kisses...oh my!

2009-10-07T19:33:00.004-04:00

My fanTABulous mother in law, otherwise referred to as Jody, came to visit this past weekend for two days. Originally, Katie was supposed to sing with her Chorus group at the Fall Festival, but her teacher got sick and they cancelled their performances. Personally, I think she should have sucked it up and drug her sick bottom to the festival for 20 whole minutes while they sang 3 songs. But what do I know :) All I'm sayin' is, she better have the pig flu!

But Jody was already on her way when we found out and she was dying to see the kids anyway, and vice versa, so she came on. It's a six hour drive, so that was pretty sweet of her.
We had so much fun. She got to be here when her son signed the bid on the house, got to see the house, and she loved it. She was almost excited as I was! Almost.

We just had fun hanging out. She & I get along really well, plus she thinks my kids are the best, smartest, prettiest kids in the whole world. So we REALLY get along well :)

I found out something new about her this trip: she can BARGAIN. As in, she went yardsaling Saturday morning with Katie, armed with a list of sizes and clothing items needed, and came back with bags full of name brand, very nice, some new clothing...all for $17! I was supposed to join them around 11am but she seriously got the kids everything they needed for now, so I didn't have to.

Anyway, we had a blast. Took the kids to their Fall Festival (I forgot my camera. She didn't, of course!), yard saling, a vegetable soup party, and house bidding.

Here are the only pictures I got of her this trip, including outtakes of her with the kids:

Ben, Chad, & Jody have the exact same eyes.

They were being so goofy!

Good enough!

Princess Katie & her tattoo - at least it's not a dog!

How sweet are they?!

Jody's 51st birthday was that weekend but she really didn't want anyone to make a deal out of it, so we didn't, but I regret that now. I wish I had gone all out and baked a cake, put up streamers, and sang the birthday song everytime she entered the room. Just like we did Chad :)

Somehow, I think she got her birthday wish, though, by spending two days with her grandbabies. Cheap gift!

A few more pics

2009-10-07T18:32:00.005-04:00

I had to go out to the house (I LOVE writing that!) Monday and I took a few more pictures, to try & show just how large this house is:

A better picture of the kitchen, from the den

Oh, look! I found a Beth! Who apparently thinks she's in a gang...

Left side - all those cabinets have me itching to unpack!

Right side - see the desk? Gonna have to get some bar stools, too :)

The dining room

To be honest, I kind of prefer an eat in kitchen to a separate, formal dining room. Especially not loving the carpet. Who puts carpet in the dining room?! So, going to play around with ideas on how to make it more adaptable for my family and our needs. Ideas are appreciated!

Already planning my mantle decor ;)

Plenty of windows & light, perfect for keeping certain monkeys in view

The door out of the utility room - for easy grocery unloading :)

A driveway made for our "Smith" family parties :)

Oh, and the PERFECT tree for a tree swing...two, in fact!

Can ya'll tell I'm happy?! It's a great deal with lots of square footage, a great backyard, a safe, quiet neighborhood (until we move in LOL)....I'm content.

We have a winner!!!

2009-10-04T15:21:00.006-04:00

A week ago Demetra, my really cool real estate agent, sent me an email with two new home listings. One was almost in the next county, about 25 minutes away and on more than an acre. It was a double wide on a permanent foundation. It was older, a little outdated in appearance, but for the land & location, I was okay with it. The other one had just one picture of the outside, which looked great, but had just over half an acre and was at the top of our price range, at $79,800.

We set an appointment for the next day to visit both. I was kind of discouraged and had a laid back, we'll see attitude. We started with the 2nd one, on .63 of an acre. I walked in the door and fell in love. Well, actually, I walked into the master bathroom and fell in love! But more about that later ;)

It's a 2006 doublewide on a permanent foundation (a REAL permenant foundation - we made sure this time!), 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a living room, dining room, AND den. It has one of the nicest layouts I've seen so far. Plus, and one of the coolest factors, it has 2234 square feet!!!

It looks brand new due to the owner, a retired bank president, buying it as a repo in June and installing new appliances & new carpet, among other things.

So, long story short, we looked at it, loved it, and put an offer on it the following Friday. Saturday he came back with a counter offer, we countered back, he came back with the same offer, but with a twist. Basically, he had a bottom dollar he was willing to accept, but he offered us three different ways to pay for it:

Option A: We agree to a sales price of $76k and he pays $2200+ towards closing costs (estimated at $2700). We only have to come up with approximately $500 cash at closing. Monthly payment will be approximately $485

Option B: A sales price of $74,800 and he pays $1,000 toward closing costs, meaning we have to be ready to pay around $1700 at closing. Monthy payment approximately $460

Option C: $73,750, he pays no closing costs, and we have to have approximately $2700 at closing. Monthly payment approximately $430.

Now, we also have to pay for a couple of things up front: the home inspection (not required but a good idea) which runs between $150-$400, and the appraisal. We don't get to pick the appraiser, since we are getting a VA loan and they use their own guys. This will cost about $200-$400 as well. That's $800, worse case scenario, we need to have in our pocket before we even put an offer on a home.

So, with option A, we need to have about $1300 (more if you're smart) in cash on hand. Option B would require about $2500 in cash, and Option C means $3500 comes out of our pocket by the time we close.

The owner had a certain amount in mind that he wanted to make on the deal and he was willing to let the property sit until he got it. But he was pretty flexible as to how we paid for it. Obviously, he became president of a bank for good reason!

He is also throwing in a home warranty good for a year, worth about $500. Sounds cheap but that would be the price to replace the water heater, for instance, if something goes wrong. Totally worth the $500.

We decided to go with Option B. We will have no problem meeting the cash on hand requirements, without putting ourselves in a financial bind, and the monthly payment will be well within our desired range. All in all, it is a great deal.

We did make it all contingent on the appraisal, home inspection, and surveyor's report (the tax records were a little messed up on the lines).

By the way, by the time we got to this first house to tour it, the 2nd one was already in contract...another door slammed shut by my Heavenly Father!

Here are the pictures of my soon-to-be first, fanTABulous home:

Doesn't look like a manufactured home, does it?!

Okay...this is where they got me - master bath :) Right side:

Those who know me really well, know that one of my pet peeves is having your potty next to the area you brush your teeth. Or take a relaxing bath. I mean, WHY?! I have always wanted one of those bathrooms where the toilet was in it's own little room. You do your business, close the door, bam! No smell, no spashage on your tooth brush (think about it! Or, maybe not...). So, it's like God said, Here you go, daughter...your own sanitary friendly bathroom. Enjoy! Yes, that's how my God works ;)

But wait - that's just the right side of the master bathroom. The entire bathroom is as big as my last bedroom! Here's the middle:

Yes, that's a long, walk in closet in the back! And yes, that mirror will be the FIRST thing to go :) But, pretty much, that moment is when I said, I'll take it! The rest of the house was just the cherry on top.

Left side of the master bath. Cute hubby not included ;)

Yep, that's a stone gas fireplace. In my den. :)
Check out this massive kitchen! I love it! That's the living room to the right...

New appliances, including flat top stove :) Pantry to the right.
That's the utility room straight ahead, with a door on the left to the back yard, a door on the right into the kids' bathroom.

A deck already set up for grilling out - God loves me!

The back yard, straight off the back deck. Behind those leaves is a spectacular view of the mountains. Does God not know me inside and out and care so much about the details??? Yes, yes He does!

View from the kitchen sink. I can watch the kids and gaze at the mountain scenery while doing the dishes.

I'm not gonna lie: it's not the setup I had in mind when I started this home search. I'd prefer a smaller house with more land. I'd LOVE to not have such close neighbors. But, we are one mile from the elementary school the kids would be attending. That's big to me. Less time they will be on the bus, if they ride it at all. Plus, their cousins, Natalie & Regan, already attend that school, another plus for me. I'm finally living my dream of the kids growing up with their cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandparents.

Also, I'm about 3 miles or less from Louise & Tim's house. Well, we'll see if that's a plus or not :P Just kidding, Weeze!

You know, I could really obssess about find the PERFECT house (I did, it was already sold when I found it LOL), but I've tried to remember a few things:

First, this doesn't have to be our final home. We can always sell & move again, as our finances improve.

Second, and most importantly: This world is not my home! I'm a pilgrim and a stranger, in search of a better, a more perfect Home. So, while it's a part of life, I refuse to let it rule my life. I will buy a home, move on with my life, and keep the my focus on the One that rules & reigns for all of eternity!

By the way...

2009-09-29T17:25:00.002-04:00

I forgot to update you guys on the house we were looking to bid on, under the subject "2nd Choice". 24 hours before we had to turn in our bid, we found out the foundation is not considered a "permanent" foundation, under the latest government guidelines. Meaning, no loan.

Some mortgage companies will loan on a trailer not on a foundation, but for several different reasons, that didn't seem the best way to go to me. God is so good, because He knows how indecisive I am, and He confirmed through about 3 different people that we should walk away from that deal. Then, and this really IS a God thing, I just felt so strongly all of a sudden that God REALLY does have something great in store for us!

I sound so shocked, right? But that really has concerned me, that I may not like what He has in store for us.

Remember a while back I wrote that I don't believe just because you don't get a certain thing, that necessarily means God has something bigger and better for you? Well, I still think that is true in some cases. Why? Three words: The Apostle Paul.

Paul was beaten, thrown in prison, shipwrecked, bitten by a snake, and basically persecuted for most, if not all, of his Christian life. But he was right where God wanted Him. He was in the will of God for his life. That was his bigger and better!

God's will for my life may not be a grand house, lots of land, or the nicest car on the market. In fact, His plan for me may not even include my version of bigger and better...a cute little house out in the country. Why? I have no idea. I do not know what His exact plan for me is, or why. I just know He has one and I want it. Because I know, no matter where I am, I will be content as long at it's HIS will and HIS plan for me.

So, that said, last week God gave me great peace that whatever lies ahead for us, it will be GOOD. I've worried that we'd end up somewhere I couldn't let my kids play outside, or would be too ashamed to bring friends and family to. But for some reason, God let me know that I can rest assured in that department. He has GOOD plans for me.

I know we like to quote that Scripture, Jeremiah 29:11: I know the plans I have for you. A plan to prosper you, to bless you. Plans to give you a hope and future (I'm paraphrasing!). But Job was in the plan of God when his life was blown to smitherines, just as much as he was when God multiplied Job's blessings later.

God sees past, present, and future, so I have a feeling His focus is not just on how He can bless and make me feel good TODAY, but how today will affect my future, and eventually, my eternity. He is making ALL things work together for my good. Past, present, future. There's a wonderful peace in knowing just how big and awesome He is, and that He rules my world!

Again, I don't know exactly what that all means for me, but I'm excited to find out. One day. For now, I'm excited to be exactly where I am right now, because this, too, is obviously His will for my life....today.

Yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus!

2009-09-29T16:19:00.004-04:00

And KMart and WalMart have layaway again, which means there will be Christmas this year, kids!

I'm kidding, really, because I cannot NOT buy Christmas presents. I'd fast two meals a day to afford presents, even if I had to shop at the Dollar Store :) That's the "Smith" in me!

But what's up with Lowes and KMart putting up Christmas trees in September!? Like we need that pressure already! I will admit, though, I was in there Sunday, oohing and ahhing over the bea u ti ful blue and silver Christmas tree. Back off, girls...they made that one for me!

Enjoying the last dog days of summer:

Oh, Autumn!

2009-09-29T13:16:00.005-04:00

Is is Autumn already?! Where in the world did Summer go? Fall/Autumn (is there a difference?) is my all time favorite season of the four, but seriously, how can it be here already?! I think I'm in denial because I never got that really great tan I wanted this summer. To me, it's not summer until I have a golden burnt look to me. I didn't get that this year, though not for lack of trying. I think I may be permanently stained "Ghost White"....horrors! "No, this isn't my costume, I'm just that white!"

This is my second Fall season living here with Mom & Dad, for those who aren't keeping track of the seconds (anyone?!) like I am. Talk about a punch to the gut. I mean, love being here as much as the next guy (except Josh - he loves it WAY too much), but I would really, really love to be in my own home during my favorite season and favorite two holidays, Thanksgiving & Christmas. I have such awesome decorations for those two holidays and I miss them. I mean, really MISS them!!!!! (notice the italics, bold, and underline to show emphasis!)

I was sitting on the living room this morning and kept seeing movement from the corner of my eye. It took me a minute to realize it was the leaves falling from the trees. They haven't even turned colors properly yet and they're already falling? That means I better get busy with my camera!

Speaking of pictures, here's one for today:

"I" is for insect!

Micah's class is learning the letter "I" this week, which means insects! Ms. Carissa said Micah (aka Mommy) could bring an insect in to class tomorrow for the Insect Net. As we drove home from school today, this huge, ugly catapillar was crawling across the road. Being the good mommy that I am, I jumped out with a baggie and scooped it up for him. The sound of that experience could be heard miles away: "OMG, OMG, OMG!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then I threw it to Casey, who was with my in the car, with the threat of me wrecking the car on her side if she dropped it or let it escape while I was in the car with it. The threat worked and we made it home safe & sound. But I am not about to take that plastic off the top. Not even for a picture :)

2nd Choice

2009-09-23T15:37:00.005-04:00

Guess which house just came back on the market?!

Remember this one?

It's the one that is only $49,500. Doublewide on permanent foundation, one acre, off a busy highway. Four bedrooms, two baths, including one of my favorite bathrooms of all the houses I've seen so far:

Love that tub! I am picturing lots of candles, a stack of books, and mirror removal!

It was under contract already when we decided to bid on it about 3 weeks ago, but low & behold, the contract fell through and they relisted it 3 days ago. Bidding closes tomorrow (Thursday) at midnight, so we have till then to decide what to bid. Some of my favorite features on this one, besides the awesome master bath:

Already has a nice sized deck in back. Also, you can't see it, but just on the other side of the deck is a concrete slab they brought in, probably to get rid of a constant mud puddle every time it rained. We can add steps to the other side of the deck down to the slab and have a really great set up in the back for grilling & entertaining. Cause I'm ALL about the entertaining ;)

Feature #3: Gas Fireplace!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm already planning my Autumn & Christmas decorations on my very own mantle. Jesus, PLEASE!!!!! Let me have a fireplace & awesome mantle!!!

Sorry so dark, but love the dining room with doors out to the deck. Wouldn't French doors look even better? hmmmmm....

One of the best features is right behind those trees - an amazing view of the mountains in the fall & winter months! Hello, swing on the front porch, here I come!

One of the cons: living room carpet needs replaced, holes in the wall need patched. Just an excuse to shop!

Out of all of the kitchen set ups I've seen lately, this one is probably my least favorite:

Seems too cut off from the living room. I don't like the skinny style. But, Chad says it's just easier to clean :)
So, we will be bidding on it within the next 24 hours. Pray I have ears to hear what God says about this one. Let Him make it plain for me...I'm dense sometimes!

The one that got away...

2009-09-19T12:19:00.005-04:00

Sorry this took so long but I've been crazy busy. I'm just going to summarize the story for you. I found this house around the first week I seriously started looking but it was already in contract. It was really cute, 3/1, 1400+ square feet, and a very nice fenced in back yard on a quiet side street. French doors leading to a really cute deck, a remodeled kitchen & floors from what I coul see through the window. Best of all, only $70,400! I've been looking for almost 3 months now and I could tell right off the bat, this was an EXCELLENT deal.

I told Chad, if we had to live in town, this is how I'd want to do it.

I called about every two weeks to see if the contract had closed and the answer was always, "Soon!" So, last Monday morning I logged onto foreclosure.com and it was the newest listed home. I called a new agent immediately, recommended to me by my sister Louise, and we met for the first time at this house.

The first walk through was not disappointing - the entire house had been remodeled about 1.5 years ago, and Louise's agent, Cheree, had been the buyer's agent for it last February. She found out the couple divorced and neither could afford the payment, so it was listed $18,000 below it's appraisal - instant equity!

We already had Josh give us an estimate on enclosing the carpet to add on another bedroom, and we put in a bid. The max amount we can afford for a loan is $63,000, so we bid $70,400 and no closing costs, meaning that we could put our $8,000 down and get a loan for right at $62,000. My bank is the one that owns it and would be loaning us the money as well, so my agent recommended they eat their own paperwork costs ;) I liked her immediately!

On a side note, handing over $1,000 as earnest money on buying a home made me feel like such a Big Girl! You'd think birthing 4 kids would have done that, but, no, I still felt like such an adult when we did that :D

Second note: we ended up with a third agent - my sister's agent had to have surgery and a coworker took our case, but I actually REALLY her. After we lost the bid she told me that God has a house for us, we'll keep looking. She had me at "God" :) Plus, she lowered her commission by $40 or $50 because another agent had just lost a bid for her client because she didn't. Loved her even more!

So, anyway, we found out the next day around noon that our bid was not accepted. I should explain that this was a foreclosure on a HUD, so no offers, just bids. No negotiating. The winning bid was $72,000, plus payed closing costs.

But, I had peace when she told me. We did our best, we bid our top dollar, and then we prayed. Mom & Dad, my mother in law, all my friends and family, my Grandma, who - hello - the Holy Ghost lives at her house! We all were praying for God's will. It just so happens His answer was, "Not this house."

I was fine with that. I did have a mini meltdown when Demetra, our new agent, sent me all she had in our county for $80,000 and under, including 2 bedrooms, and only two of them were options. Today I saw both of those and now none of them are options. But, God is in control of this situation and He has a plan. I know it includes a house for my family. One day.

But, here are the pictures. It was plain on the outside, but clean & cute on the inside. Definite potential. And now we know what we are willing to make that monthly payment for:

Check out this green kitchen! It's a little different, but we all loved it:

Love the white trim against the green. They had some really nice extra touches, like the fan in every room was brushed silver, and the crown molding (sp).

So there you have it, guys. We saw, we bid, we lost. But I already got back up on that horse and saw two today, with a couple of FSBOs to look at this week. Keep me in your prayers, please! My agent reminded me today that we have a deadline of Nov. 30th to be eligible for that tax incentive. Like I forgot that somehow LOL.

Cute Conversations

2009-09-15T14:36:00.003-04:00

Ben's latest little antic is to ask for something and if you tell him no, he will say (to me), "Daddy wets me! That's "lets", of course :) After our trip to Nashville to spend a couple of days with Mammaw Jody, it was, "Mammaw wets me!" Which, of course, was totally true, regardless of what he asked for!

I was reading my Bible this morning when Ben jumped up on the bed and started playing with the pages. I have tried to teach them to respect the Bible more than any other book in the house: I always talk in my most reverant tone when I say "Bible."
So when he started playing with the pages, I stopped him with, "This is my Holy (whisper) Bible."

"Oh, dat's you Bi-Buw?"

"Yes, this is God's (Gawwwd's) book. This is how I learn about Jesus."

"Oh. He dit mad if I huwt His Bi-Buw?"

"He is sad when we hurt His book."

"Oh. I want one! I want a Bi-Buw. I want TWO Bi-Buw's!"

"Why do you want TWO Bibles?"

And I swear, this kid could act in Hollywood already. He dropped his chin, stuck out his lip and made the saddest, sweetest, cutest little puppy dog face EVER and said,

"He wets me! DeDus wets me have two!"

I died laughing. Now Jesus is spoiling my baby rotten! So, I told him ask "Dedus" for his very own Bible LOL! It went something like this:

"Dear Dod, Pwease div me two BiBuws. Amen!" Sometimes he just says, "The end!" which always cracks me up. I am trying to make sure they don't treat God like a Santa Claus, asking for everything their eyes see. But, good Lord! I'm not sure I've got that one conquered just yet, either!

Funny thing is, I wonder what God thought of that whole scene. Did it make Him smile? He loves us so much more than we are capable of loving even our own children, I think. So I have to believe that whole conversation made Him laugh. And, if I were God (don't faint, Beth!), I would want to grant that tiny but sincere request and send my goofy child a Bible of his own. Wouldn't you? So, I'm curious to see what God does with that one. He may do like I do sometimes and just smile and go on, knowing my child won't really die if they don't get something. Or He may just decide to give him something just because. Just because He loves us. Because He likes to make His children happy too. It's the small things.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day and try to rest in the fact that He loves you with an unfailing love. It's impossible for Him to not have your best interests at heart!

UGH!!!

2009-09-14T12:24:00.002-04:00

Check out the email I got from my realtor, post break-up:

I have given some thought to your situation. Timing, as they say, is everything. I hate for you to miss the $8K tax credit, but that alone is not a good reason to buy a house. I, too, have felt that you haven't found "it." I will keep looking out for you.

Would you feel comfortable to sign a buyer's agreement for me? It just says that when you buy, you will use me as your realtor. I can e-mail it to you for you and Chad to sign, if o.k.

My best to you and your family.

Ugh! She also went on to offer to look at rentals for us (um, NO!) and then sent me a listing for a home in our price range...FINALLY! Seriously, that is the 2nd listing she has sent me in the past month or two. After our first email back meeting, she sent me a few to look at. After that, I would have to email her listings and she'd email me back the info. Until this week, she wasn't looking for me a house at all!

Anyway, I did email her back the following, today:

No, a rental is not really an option, but thank you anyway. As for the buyer agreement, no, we aren't comfortable signing that yet. I do appreciate all of your help. I'm still looking a little, but right now I just feel burnt out. Thank you.

If she's smart and can read between the lines just a tad, she'll back off graciously. Regardless of what my mom says (hi, Mom!), I do not love confrontation. But I don't back away when it becomes necessary, either. Just ask those pesky telemarkers from Citi Group :D Threatened to sue the pants off of them just this past weekend!

Anyway, here's some zen for ya:

Regan/Natalie found a butterfly on the porch - I love her little chubby hands!

The Break Up

2009-09-10T17:24:00.004-04:00

"...cause breaking up is hard to do-oo!"

I did it. I broke up with my real estate agent. I emailed her today and just said we were thinking about putting the search on hold for now and thanks for all her help. Which is totally true - we are thinking about stopping for a while. We've talked about it and I know we shouldn't give up, but I'm so uninspired to look right now. I've definitely lost some spark since yesterday. We prolly won't give up, but that statement was totally true when I wrote it. Still is.

Does that constitute a lie? I HATE to be lied to. I know I should man up and tell her she stinks at this, but...she could be my grandma, ya'll!

I found the newest home magazine today at a gas station. Low and behold, there are at least FOUR new listings in our price range. Did my agent email those listings for me to check out? NO! Negatron! So, I know I've made the right decision. She is overwhelmed with her personal life (mom died 13 days ago, selling her house, going through her mom's belongings) so she cannot give us the level of dedication we need.

But I still feel like a dog. Like I just told her she'd be living off ramen noodles for the next 5 years. Come to think of it, that's what WE live off of sometimes LOL.

Anyway, yay for me. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better about breaking up with my real estate agent. Thanks for all the great advice and encouragement, everyone. I thought this would be a lot more fun and a lot less stressful!

So, I'm off to sell what stuff I could get Chad to drag out of our packed storage in a yard sale tomorrow - wish me luck!

Here's my zen for today:
Thanks for going with me that morning, Louise!

New song!

2009-09-09T21:44:00.002-04:00

I love the lead singer's voice of NeedtoBreathe. They do two of songs on my playlist at the bottom, "Washed by the Water" and "Signature of the Divine". Awesome lyrics, raspy voice. And now they have "Lay it Down." Talk about timely! Listen to the words and then try to do as they suggest and lay it all down at the feet of the Master. God bless!

House Hunting Part Deux

2009-09-09T18:52:00.007-04:00

Today was the big day...the day Chad got to see the top three choices for our potential new house, and a couple of new ones.

First off, he did NOT like our real estate agent. Granted, she is older, and cannot drive worth a flip. She is either extremely fast or extremely slow, with periods of off roading, dodging ditches, and she likes to read her housing info as she drives. Plus, she's over 60 years old and it's just not a great experience. Especially if you are the one riding with her, as I was today.

But mainly because, when we noticed some serious foundation issues with one of the houses, she pointed out the window and said, But remember how much you love the yard and neighborhood? Um, yeah....but I won't be sleeping in the yard or cooking at the neighbor's!

And again, at another house, we noticed what seemed to be some heavy smoke damage to the walls and water damage under almost every window, and she said to me, But you DO love this large kitchen and wonderful back yard. Again, I'd like to be able to taste the food, not smoke, and it's all pointless if you fall through a rotted floor!

So, I think she is more worried about her bottom dollar than us being able to actually afford a house that is going to be worth paying for. After our last tour with her, she only emailed me the requested info on the most expensive house we looked at, and as a result, the 2nd choice one was sold by the time I followed up on it myself.

Now, to be fair, her mom died just a week and a half ago. But, I also lost a house that we were seriously looking to bid on because she didn't do what I asked her to do (find out deadline to bid, see if any other offers in yet, and max bid in).

Everyone keeps telling me to ditch her, but I have a hard time breaking up with someone that reminds me of my Grandma! She's just so sweet and she really seems to like me....:) I know, not good criteria for a real estate agent but I'm a sucker for anyone who genuinely likes me LOL.

Anyway, Josh came along to add his opinion and home construction experience to the mix. In fact, Louise ended up tagging along by the 4th house, so we had a caravan of three cars by the end of the day. For some reason, we "Smiths" don't like to do anything alone LOL. All those years of being stuck together like glue in a van for hours and hours at a time, I guess.

So, the first house is one I found just yesterday, and my favorite from today's bunch. 1999 doublewide, 3 bdrm, 2 bath ,with office off master, 1678 square feet, on .83 of an acre, out in country for $73,900. VERY quiet. So peaceful. And less than a mile from Louise! (Not sure if that is a pro or con ;) (Just kidding, Louise! But seriously, CALL FIRST)

Front view - nice front yard

Little stream - not a big issue

View of back yard from the deck - love it!

Nice, big back deck off of the kitchen; notice huge window over the sink, looking out into the back yard :)

It does need a new stove and carpet cleaned or replaced. Just noticed the black microwave above the stone -Score!
Remember the one I loved with the HUGE, open kitchen, in a cul de sac, and power lines in the back yard? This one is the exact same model doublewide, just 5 years older and $7,000 cheaper! Also, it's on .83 an of acre, which is over 3/4 of an acre. In the country, with a tiny, TINY stream at the property line. Not even big enough for me to freak out about my kids playing in. It looks like it dries up in between rains, in fact. The only negative worth mentioning is that it's not on a permanent foundation.

I'm not sure how big of a deal that is now. Before, when we thought we'd be going through a bank for our loan, it was a major factor. No bank (we've been told) will loan on a manufactured home at all if it is not on a permanent foundation. But, apparently a few months ago, banks quit loaning on manufactured homes period, due to the housing market & loan situation. So, either way, to get a double wide, we're going to have to go through a mortgage company, like Vanderbilt Mortgage, who specialize in manufactured home loans. So, maybe the foundation thing isn't such a big deal right now, though it may be by the time we go to resale and upgrade to a better house. Then, it may bite us on the behind. So...something to think about.

You guys have seen the next three houses already:

The first one is the exact same model as the previous one - only difference I can see is the paneling (this one is prettier), white microwave, newer stove, and stone fireplace instead of wood. Must be a little wider, too, as it has about 70 more square feet. Did I mention that already? Hmmm...

$79,900 doublewide on foundation in the cul de sac of the "trailer park", as Mom referred to it. Upon closer inspection today, and along with Josh's invaluable eye, we discovered smoke discoloration to the walls, water damage under most of the windows, and that I liked the neighborhood thing less this time than last. Oh, and some kind of problem with standing water in the back yard.

Favorite feature - the kitchen

Mom's least favorite part - the close neighbors in a "Manufactured Home Community":

Chad actually wasn't a big fan of the cul de sac/trailer park thing, either. We both prefer a more secluded setting. Like the first one ;)

The most move in ready of them all...2005 double wide, 3/2, $79,000:

Remember the cat bedroom? Yep, Ben was in Kitty Heaven and almost choked them to death with his hugs LOL.

Love this kitchen! Track lighting, corner sink, tile backspash...nice, extra touches.

Chad was pleasantly surprised by this one - the first time we drove by, he said NO WAY. Too many neighbors. But I went without him and fell in love. Great back yard, wonderful inside. But the smallest of them all, only 1200 square feet, which he said was a big minus. Hello...four kids!

Now, the biggest shock of them all. This was Beth's top favorite from the beginning, though I'm not sure why. We were going to knock out that wall, add french doors leading to a nice back deck. Welll...major foundation issues. Apparently the house, another double wide, settled, and now the cabinets are all skewed, the closet doors wouldn't hardly close, the ceiling is cracked & gaping in places...not good. So, officially of the list. Thank You, God!

2003 (I think) doublewide on foundation, 3/2 with office, 1600+ square feet, $69,900:

We looked at one more but I barely got any pictures. Louise walked in and walked back out saying, That's a major negatron!

On paper, it had such great potential! 1985 house, 3/2, 1450 square feet, for $73,500. A short sale (they owe more than the value of the home, or trying to avoid foreclosure), on a cul de sac as well:

We pulled up and are thinking, CUTE! I'm not a fan of yellow, it's actually my least favorite color, but this was doable:

Nice, fenced back yard:

Then, I saw the kichen:

That was the last picture I took. This was par for the course with this house. They had added on a couple of different rooms, and I use the word "room" lightly. They should have completely remodeled the house instead of adding on here & there, and definitely should have paid someone else to do the work!
So, this was a big, fat NEGATRON.

What did we learn today? Always inspect the inside more than once. I have seen the outsides of each of these at least 2-3 times by now, but this was my 2nd time seeing the insides, and I was underwhelmed almost every time. Except the cat house. Still love it.

Second, take an expert. Josh knew his stuff today and on two houses at least, he helped find major issues. They may or may not be deal breakers, but they will definitely affect what we are willing to pay.

Third, it's time to break up with Carolyn :( I feel like I'm about to kick my own Grandma in the stomach and run...not cool!

So, the house hunt continues. God will slam shut the wrong doors, and continue pointing me toward the right one. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Right?

Wednesday

2009-09-02T08:48:00.002-04:00

Today is Micah & Ben's first dentist appointment - yay! Seriousy, I cancelled once because, really, do 3 and 4 year olds NEED a dental cleaning yet? But they insisted YES, they do (of course), so we are going.

I heart this dentist office mucho gusto for several reasons:

One, they have an awesome waiting room. The walls are painted with an intricate African safari mural, with a couple of large tvs with movies always playing, even in back. Meaning, while the dentist is drilling a hole through your jaw, you get to watch Madagascar 2 :) (Did I mention I actually hate going to the dentist?!?) Plus, four gaming consoles set up in the waiting room for the video game addicted, such as Ethan.

Second, they have really cool magazines for parents in the waiting room. Unlike the pediatric doctor's waiting room. Ugh. Insurance magazines, health magazines...I want to escape reality while I am waiting to pay you $500 to see if my son has a huge ball of wax in his ear, not get slapped in the face with the reality of my moneyless, unhealthy lifestyle. So, thanks a lot, dentist office, for providing me with mindless crap to read! It's almost enough to make me forget the $300 I'm paying you to brush my 3 year old's teeth :)

On a sadder note (does it get worse than $300 on teeth that will fall out in the next 5 years???), my real estate agent's mom died Sunday, so we had to cancel our visits to the 3 houses we like the most. Also, on an even sadder note...my dream home has been sold and is currently being inhabited as I type.

Chad warned me this weekend that he saw someone mowing the grass. I insisted they were just getting it cleaned up & ready for us. He reminded me that there was also one of those storage pods in the front yard. It was a little much to think maybe they had moved all of our furniture from storage to a pod and then moved it to our house before we had actually bid on it, so I caved to reality and accepted it was probably over.

However, my little mini me, Katie, was not buying it. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was sold, so I did the next best thing and drove her by it yesterday after chorus. I have to give her credit...she catches on quick. The car in the driveway, pod next to it, and already a new shed in the back yard gave it all away and she realized immediately that "those mean people that stole our house" were there to stay.

She turned her face to the window and silently bawled her eyes out. So did I. We held hands as I drove away and cried together over the loss of the house that was just so perfect for us. A few minutes later, after we were cried out, Katie croaked, "Well, I hope those people at least needed it more than we did, cause I have to say, this is HEARTBREAKING!" Then, she added vehemently, "And they better have a dog, too!"

I have a feeling that, just as I had already mentally decorated the inside of the house I'd never even toured yet, hosted my first birthday party/BBQ, and played football with Chad in the front yard, Katie had been planning her upcoming adventures with Bandit. Probably dreaming of the roaming they would do on our 2.4 acres, chasing cows, howling at the moon, and doing God knows what else together.

So yesterday we both heard the sound of pipe dreams bursting. I said I'd accept whatever God's answer was, even if it was a big, fat NO, and I do. Katie asked me last night, does this mean that wasn't our house? And I had to say, even though I don't like it or understand why, that's exactly what that means. God has something else for us. I won't even lie and say I think the something else is better. It's just something else. Hopefully better. But when you pray for God's will, you better be ready to accept it.

Anyway, I'm off to the dentist, thanking God it's not my appointment. My kids have no idea how much I hate going to the dentist. I just act like they are SO lucky to be going, while inside I am ecstatic it's not me :)

Happy Middle of the Week Day!

Sunday

2009-08-30T15:43:00.003-04:00

Happy Sunday afternoon!

I just finished cleaning both living rooms and kitchen, folded a load of laundry and put it all way, then cleaned the kitchen all over again after the kids played with Play Doh. Toward the end I kept thinking, what happened to that day of rest?! Seriously!

I don't have anything cool or interesting to share. As Sis. Faye says, the light is just not on tonight (pointing to her head). My elevator isn't going all the way to the top today ;)

I should mention that Chad & I did not go see those houses Friday like we planned. He finally succombed to the head cold the rest of us have, plus is rained most of the day, so we rescheduled for Tuesday. It's do or die that day, since it's the last day he can go till his next two days off, almost 10 days away.

On a sad note, Chad drove by our "dream" home and there was someone there mowing the grass. I say they are just getting it good and ready for us to move in, but apparently there is also a Pod outside. Looks they someone is good and ready to move in, just not us. Yet.

I did call Friday and they said the contract is still just pending. It was supposed to close this past week but it keeps getting drawn out. Whether it's God or just the nature of buying a home, I truly do not know. But I won't accept it's time to move on until I feel a release, and so far it's just not there. I'm trying to keep my options open, keep looking around, but it's tough right now.

You know, alot of times, faith looks stupid. I'm just putting that out there. True faith will make your friends & family really question your sanity. But...that's probably a good sign you're doing something right.

So, just please pray for me this week. My husband is struggling, my kids are discouraged, and it takes its toll on me. Whatever happens, I'm just ready for SOMETHING to happen.

Anyway, crank up the computer speakers and praise God to along with some of my favorite songs on my playlist. Go to church somewhere tonight!

To pick or not to pick...

2009-08-26T20:04:00.002-04:00

I found this in my garden last week:

My first banana pepper!

But does anyone know how to tell when they are ripe for picking? Oh, funny story...
So, my little tomatoes finally turned yellowish, so I asked mom when to pick them. She said, when they turn red (in her DUH voice). So, I waited. And waited. They finally turned orange, then split open, then turned purple...and that's when mom told me I had planted yellow tomatoes, so I could pick them when they are yellow! For a short time, though, I had some gorgeous tomatoes:

The middle green one is still hanging. I'm determined to get one, good ripe tomato from that plant.
Here's what the cucumber vine is up to now. It begins on the far left and has snaked down and then up, all the way the yellow bloom on the right of the picture. Isn't that amazing?!

The green tomato hanging all alone...

And one more of the pepper, cause it's just so cool to look at!

Thankfully, my family is not dependent upon my ability to grown food for our survival, or we'd be walking zombies right about now. Or, as L.A. refers to them, supermodels. :)

Updates

2009-08-26T19:31:00.003-04:00

I did not get the phone book delivery gig. Apparently the branch planet did not communicate with the home planet and there were several misplaced aliens walking around.

I have no idea where the alien lingo came from LOL. I'm very weary right now. Mind, body, but not soul.

Anyway, the spots were all filled but no one bothered to tell that to the main office. Make more sense now?

In other news, Micah cried again this morning at school when I told him I couldn't stay with him and he couldn't go home. The entire time I kept thinking, but why can't he? If he isn't receiving speech therapy....

But as Beth pointed out, they will eventually have a therapist there but if he misses more than 3 or 5 days of school without being sick, they remove him from Preschool and put someone else in from their waiting list. So, I can't just let him stay home because he wants to snuggle with mommy. Ugh...now my heart hurts again.

Okay, so I'm taking Chad to look at the top three house choices tomorrow, along with Carolyn, the RE agent. For those keeping tract, that is the house with blue walls inside, the one for $49,000, and the one with the to-die-for kitchen. Carolyn emailed me night we saw that one and said the owners are willing to come down, bring an offer. Um, but are they willing to drop $10,000 at least?

What about Lee? Well, the one-I-would-give-it-all-up-for was supposed to close today. However, that doesn't mean it's out of the running for me just yet. I know most would think I'm crazy, but seriously....God loves to do those last minute miracles. For example:

- 3 Hebrew boys,,.He doesn't save them BEFORE the fire, but IN the fire.
- Daniel and some pesky lions...He could have kept Daniel from the lions' den, but instead, He showed off a little bit and just tamed the carnivores. Made them vegans for a day ;)
- Israelites at the Red Sea...He let them get to the point of no return first, then He parted a sea.

I think God waits until there literally is no other way out, no way any man can make something happen, then He moves. Why? Because He doesn't like for some man to get the glory, any more than you would want your kids to brag on the neighbors for providing for them. (Thanks, Dad!) Plus, what a faith builder! When you finally get it into your head that there is NOTHING your God can't do...nothing can defeat you again!

Anyway, my point is, it's not over until God says it's over and He hasn't put that in my heart yet. I have a couple of different reasons that I feel that may still be the house for us. And, if I'm wrong, so be it. But, like some Hebrew boys I remember reading about, I may not know what God will do, but I certainly know what He can do.

Guess what!

2009-08-25T09:02:00.003-04:00

I'm headed to orientation to be a AT&T phone book deliverer! Orientation should last 20 minutes, the lady said, which basically means a monkey with a tricycle could do this job. Guess that's me :)

I'm curious on how it pays - that's always the LAST thing they tell you. I will get paid by the bundle, so if you find a couple of bundles on your door step, I'm sorry...but I need the money!

Oh, and today Micah cried for the first time as I left him in the hands of complete strangers, legally. Otherwise known as Preschool. Whatever. I made myself leave before they could ask me to leave. I think he was just tired this morning. Plus, he kept telling me his leg was "bwoken". That's his new answer for everything: Why did you hit your brother? My weg is bwoken!"

My entire reason for putting him in school was for him to get Speech Therapy. He really, REALLY needs it and preferrably before they start grading everything he does. So, found out last week, they don't have a speech therapist yet. This is good and bad. The therapist last year was a zombie apparently, because Ethan didn't learn a single new sound. So, good riddance to her! But sure wish they had hired someone before the future quarterback of the Colts joined Preschool!

Hubby will like that one. I almost said Browns, but I'm a wait & see fan this year. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me three years in a roll, shame on me. Lose 20 years straight, shame on Chad!

So, wish me luck in my dummy job. At least I will get to do a lot of peeping in windows. We all know how much I love me some window peeping!

God bless :)

FYI

2009-08-24T12:33:00.005-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FObjd5wrgZ8&feature=related

A friend (hey, Sissy!) sent me this link today and I want to share it. I'm also adding it as my numero uno song on the blog playlist, so turn up your computer speakers. It's one of the most worshipful songs I've ever heard. When I listen to this song, I can seriously imagine for a second just what it might be like one day when we are all gathered around His throne, worshipping and praising the Saviour. What a day that will be!!!!!

The girl singing is Kari Jobe (like Job, the book in the Old Testament), leading the Christ for the Nations Choir. Here's a link to an interview she did several years ago, I think. She really impressed me with her obvious love of God and desire to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. After all those hoochie female singers out there using their talents to, well, worship something other than God, aren't you glad to finally find someone actually doing something positive and God inspired with their voice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijpBltNnl8M&feature=related

I dare you to let it play as you clean, fold clothes, or read your Bible today (Jacklyn!). See if it doesn't surround you with the presence of God!

The ONE I would give it all up for in a heartbeat....

2009-08-24T11:27:00.002-04:00

pending a decent appraisal and home inspection, of course. I wasn't born yesterday!

Ignore the tall grass in the front. It has 2.4 acres, out in the country, with just the horses next door for noise :) Oh, and it's only about 2-3 miles from the kids' school, so no change necessary. It's asking price is $69,400. 4 bedrooms, PLUS, an office and a separate den/family room, besides the living room! I haven't actually been inside, just peeped in the windows about 5 -10 times.

View from the front, left:

Front, right:

Back porch - small door is into laundry room, then kitchen
View from back porch, closest neighbor - love it!

Did I mention it has an awesome master bath, with garden tub, something I've always wanted? And a skylight over it - just a bonus ;) Katie's room has it's own bathroom - how perfect is that for an only daughter?

Seriously, I've decided to pray that God allow the people that had a bid accepted already to find something else. Heck, let them win the lottery and move to Tahiti, for all I care!

We have not because we ask not. I'm not a name it and claim it kind of girl, but I do believe in making my request known unto God. I will accept His answer, even if it's a NO WAY, but at least I'll know I tried, and the rest is up to Him.

Pray with me, please? I would really love to be in the country, on a safe, dead end road, with horses & cows for neighbors, and 2.4 acres of land for my kids to roam. And while we're at it, a drop in price would be wonderful.

My God is able!

Sunday Sermon

2009-08-23T15:55:00.005-04:00

I am still following my Read the Bible Through in 2-3 Years Plan and I am happy to say I finished the book of Numbers and started into Deuteronomy yesterday. Micah was sick and wanted me to lay with him on the bed for about 4-5 hours straight. There's not much you can do then but read or watch tv. I don't have a tv in my bedroom, so I caught up on some Bible reading. Not the whole 4 or 5 hours, of course, but I finally got Moses and the children of Israel closer to the Promised Land. It even feels like forty years of reading by the time they finally get there!

Anyway, my Bible has an awesome Truth in Action section at the end of each book, summarizing the truths taught in the book and how you can practically apply them in your life. I love to hear other people's thoughts on Scripture, even if I don't always agree, don't you?

So one of the Truths taught in Numbers, according to the scholars that wrote the notes in my Bible, is this:

"Numbers underlines that God's people are to be contented with God's provision. Discontent reveals a lack of faith in God. He knows what we need and will meet that need in His perfect time. Faith is willing to wait for that time and rest in His present provision."

The first time I read that, I thought, "WOW!" and then, "Ouch!"

You remember when you were a kid and all year long you'd plan and dream about your next birthday. Then, it's be the Big Day and you'd be so excited about turning a year older. But, immediately, you'd start talking about your next birthday, and how you can't wait to turn that next number, dreaming and planning how much more fun that birthday would be. You never seemed to just enjoy the age you were at right then. Always looking ahead anxiously, instead of living in the moment.

That's what this truth made me think of. Always wanting the next big thing, the next new car, bigger house, better job...and never truly content in the moment where you are. Um, ouch.

I keep getting reminded of this in my own life, so apparently it's a lesson I'm supposed to be learning, and a test I keep failing with all of my grumbling and complaining. No, my situation is not ideal, but it is where God has placed me for this moment in time. He has provided for all of my needs, and I'm supposed to be content with that. I don't believe that means stop with the job & house hunting, but to do so with an attitude that in God's perfect time and in His perfect way, it will happen.

And I totally agree with the rest...it is a LACK of faith to be discontent. It's like telling God, "Your current provisions aren't good enough, Lord! I want/need MORE than what You are giving me!" What would you say if your kids told you that on a daily basis? I'd laugh my head off, then take everything but the bare essentials away from them, until they can appreciate even the basics. Yikes!

Don't you hate to be around a child that is always complaining about what they want or what they need, when you can tell they already have everything and more? They're spoiled!

OMG, I think I'm a spoiled brat! Ugh. I can't stand a spoiled brat. Apparently, neither can God, cause I think He's trying to talk to me about it :)

So, here are the Actions they say for us to take, to apply the principles to our own lives:

Accept where God has placed you in His body. Rest in the fact He has placed you just where He wants you. (Numbers 2:1-34 & 1 Corinthians 12:18)

Do not complain because of hardships. God designs them to train us for maturity. (As Dad said this morning, usually the things you are kicking & fighting against the most are the things God has sent your way to push you to the next place you are supposed to be.) (Numbers 11:1)

Rejoice! Know that the Lord is your inheritance because He has given you His Son and eternal life. (Numbers 18:20)

Hard to argue with that, right?

So, that's my little sermonette for today. It may only be for me, but somehow, I doubt that ;)

Rest in the Lord today!

P.S.

2009-08-22T22:01:00.002-04:00

I heart my new playlist default song, Stoppin' the Love, by KT Tunstall (scroll to very bottom). She's the one that sings "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree." I'm still waiting on someone to explain what that one means.

Houses

2009-08-21T20:22:00.014-04:00

Today was The Big Day. The day Beth & I (and Ben) toured my top 6 or 7 house choices with a real estate agent. It was great to finally get a look inside the houses I've driven by at least 2 or 3 times in the past month.

I have put this off because A.) I hate dealing with a pushy, opinionated, or uninformed real estate agent. Fortunately, Carolyn wasn't any of those and we got along famously. I was a little apphrehensive when I saw that she was older (in her 60's), but she kept up with me & Beth like a spring chicken ;)

B.) I know it's supposed to be fun, but seems like when it's MY money on the line, fun flies out the window. I dunno.

But on the other hand, touring houses satisfies that deep voyeuristic part of me that has existed since we were kids, driving from state to state with Dad, playing "That' MY house!" I would always get so excited when someone left their curtains open, so I could see the inside of the house...how they decorated, the layout, what they were watching on tv....you're a little bit creeped out right now, huh.

But it went great. Carolyn, my new BFF, didn't think we'd be able to see all 7 houses in one day without our heads exploding, but I was pretty confident we'd be okay, as long as she could keep up. We actually covered all 7 in 5 hours exactly. Prolly would have taken even less time if she had known her speedometer has 60 mph and above on it for a reason...but that's another story.

So, here are the 7 houses we looked at and the reasons I kept or eliminated them from the list. I'm counting down from my least favorite to most liked:

Does this need ANY other explanation?!

I know some of you are saying, but you can fix ugly! But The Experiment in Incredibly Bad Taste was also the smallest (900+ sq ft), and had no tub in the one bathroom. WHAT??? Where would I talk myself out of running away while eating Ghiradelli chocolate and reading trashy romance novels?! (JK, Mom)

Plus, and I should mention this now, I am willing to do cosmetic repairs but I have to draw the line at a full on makeover or reconstruction. Chad has no home repair skills or tendencies, and I have all of the desire and none of the drive. I love a great makeover story...in theory. For someone else. But I've seen too many people live 10 years in a construction zone - NO THANK YOU! My favorite phrase yesterday was "move in ready!"

Anyway, this house also boasted of something even Carolyn had never seen in her 100 years as an RE agent:

What's wrong with this picture?

Keep in mind, that is the BEDROOM, with the pretty glass (SEE THROUGH) door. Thankfully not the master bedroom. I'm thinking maybe I don't corner the market on sneaky kids - whatcha think??? Now, if it were bullet proof glass....

Anyway, so that one is off the list for, among other things, no bath tub, no space, and just plain bad taste. Also a less than stellar, or even safe, neighborhood, but who's counting reasons at this point.

This next one was quite a disappointment. I was already half in love with it due to the 2.8 acres &1925 sq ft of house, but there was reason they didn't post pictures of the inside - Layout From Hell. Ever been in a house where you have to go from one end to the other any time you need something? This house just made NO sense. A 1998 doublewide/permanent foundation and they are asking $75,000. It is the farthest away from Chad's job, meaning at least a 30 minute drive one way, but he is willing, if the land & price are right.

By the way, I keep saying "house" but technically, all but 2 of the 7 were double wide trailers, or manufactured homes, as they prefer to be called ;)

Beth hates this one because, for one thing, it is about 25 minutes from her house to mine. May be why I liked it so much...until I saw the inside.

After that, it just went downhill...literally. All 2.8 acres on the side of a mountain, meaning no swing set, no trampoline, no garden. Carolyn referred to it nicely as "unusable land." In fact, about the only thing that land was good for growing was creepy crawly things...and possibly bears. Again, no thank you!

You know, as I look through the pictures of this one, I do like so many things about the house. But when I was actually in it, there was just something off. I don't know. I may want to check this one out again. It would definitely need some cosmetic stuff done to it. For one thing, why do you want carpet in the bathroom? That's just unsanitary and so nasty to me. Then, why put the fireplace in the same room as the kitchen? Usually the last thing you want to do after slaving over a hot stove is fire up the fireplace!

But I do love the garden tub in the master bath, with separate shower. I hate a toilet in the same room as the sink & tub. A dividing wall at least, please! Plus, this one had the most square footage of any we looked at - almost 2,000 sq ft.

The back yard from Hell:

Most of the land is just like this:

Now that I look at the pictures I took on the side of the hill, it could be cleared out enough for the kids to have a clubhouse. Plus, Chad would love to make all kinds of four wheeler trails up there. It just wasn't what I wanted. So, not totally off the list just yet (sorry, Beth!).

My favorite picture of the day:

He got a little bored with it all and decided to find some 'toons.

Okay, this next one is the least expensive. It's a repo'd HUD 2003 double wide (they were all on permanent foundations btw), for $49,000. Yes, I know that is a great deal. But did I mention I'm not a fixer-upper kind of gal? But, the things I'll do to save a buck...or 30,000. I didn't get as many pictures as I should have, but the gist is, 1 acre of undetermined boundaries, right off the highway. As in, my driveway is right off the highway. As in, my boys could ride their bikes into the four lanes of traffic. I have a mini panic attack every time I think about that one.

So, a potential fix is to either have the driveway moved to the left, coming in from the road 10 feet past those trees, or come in off the neighbors driveway, halfway down, and fence off the end of mine that leads to the highway. Permits, dozers, money. But doable.

Plus, the immediate front yard is a horse pen. Now, imagine my boys looking at that wire fence every day. How many days until they decided to climb over & pet the pretty horses? Um...less than 10 minutes, based on the same scenario but with dogs.

The back already has a nice sized deck, plus a concrete slab, presumably to keep water from pooling.

There are two things that sell a house when it comes to women: the kitchen and the bathroom. Now, does that perpetuate a stereotype or what? But, totally true in my case, so I cannot deny. This kitchen stinks, in my opinion. It's neither open nor closed...it's just THERE. Boring. But, livable. It's just a starter home, as Beth keeps reminding me.

I do love the sliding glass doors off the dining room, leading to the back deck. We grill about 5 days a week, on average, so convenience is key.

This house will need the most cosmetic work, of course. New carpet in master bedroom and living room. Needs a fridge & stove. Patch holes in the living room wall. But it potentially has an awesome view. The front faces the mountains, and once the leaves fall off the forest in front of us, we will have a spectacular view. And Autumn will be lovely out there, as well.

Also, had 1700+ sq ft, I think, with four bedrooms & 2 baths and a beautiful stone gas fireplace. So, potential, but not "move in ready."

Okay, this one has the best potential for price & move in readyness: $69,900 for 3 bdrm, 2 bath (and one office/bdrm) 1995 doublewide on permanent foundation. I had to recheck the date on this one, because it doesn't look that old at all. Just needs paint to be move in ready, too.

Nice sized yard, at 100x200 (sq ft, I assume) and fenced in. That is about .46 acres (almost half) or two city lots. It is out in the country, but right off a semi busy road.

Yesterday made me ask more than once - what were they thinking! There is just no account for bad taste, people. Repaint before you sell, at least! I think it's a repo.

With this one, I hate the living room set up. There is no wall for my couch, so I'd have to do that middle of the floor layout, which stinks. Also hate the master bathroom. Plain old tub, two doors in & out. But master has a huge closet, then another almost unnecessary walk in closet. It was a surprise to find it has an office/library that can be a fourth bedroom. Legally, if a room doesn't have a closet, it can't be listed as a bedroom. All those years of home improvement and house hunting shows has finally paid off!

All in all, this one is high on the list. Tied for #2, actually.

Here is the other #2 contender: a cute as a button, totally move in ready, but smallish (1180+ sq ft) 2004 manufactured home. The only two cons for this one, in fact, is it is a bit small (just less to clean, right?) and the price: $79,000. If you've been keeping up, I have $8,000 to put down, and we want to keep the loaned amount at $63,000 or less. Preferably less.

I have to say, I LOVED her color schemes, both inside and out. The lady living there is older, probably retired, and she has GREAT taste - something lacking from almost every other one we looked in. I'm assuming she is wanting to move to either something smaller, Florida, or to be near her children. I'm big on assumptions. And yes, what they say about making assumptions is true. Frequently. Actually, I really try *not* to make assumptions...mostly because I have fulfilled that saying many times before. (Right, Michelle?)

The Cat Room
Luckily, there was no cat odor whatsoever. Of course, I did have a head cold. But Beth, who swerves to hit cats, said so as well.

This house had 3 bedrooms and two baths. The master bath had a jetted tub. This was the first house we saw and I wanted to buy it on the spot. That is why I have a realtor...to keep me from bidding on the first how I see.

The owner had put in a few really nice touches, including the cute track lighting over the sink, in the center, and over the stove. I seriously loved everything about the inside and outside of this house!

The only con could be that there is no deck, and no door leading directly to the back yard. But the yard is a gorgeous, a level 100x200, fenced, with a concrete slab already in place. So, not an issue, really. But price is. Location is perfect, by the way...about 15-20 minutes from Chad's job, with a country feel, a view of mtns in the winter, and nice, quiet neighbors with kids.

Okay, and here is the final, and favorite, house. Another 2003 double wide/permanent foundation home (one year older than previous house, suprisingly). It is priced almost the same as the previous home, at $79,900. Four bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen to kill for, and an almost perfect master bath.

It already has a perfect deck for grilling...and check out that level back yard:

Ignore the power lines and leaves - there are gorgeous mountains under that grey sky!

View of the front yard:

Now, Mom & I have a little disagreement over this one. She unlovingly refers to the community it is in as a "Trailer Park." Her nose snarls up a little bit each time she says it, too. The realtor that listed it called it a "Manufactured Home Community." Tomayto/Tomahto. Plus, she is not a big fan of a cul de sac. But that is what we lived on when we were stationed at Andrews AFB, MD, and it ended up being really good for the kids. Always a friend to play with, the perfect place to ride their bikes, and eyes every where for when they did something they shouldn't. Which can also be a bad thing LOL.

Anyway, it's a beautiful drive toward the river & mountains, with the best view; undetermined land, but definitely less than one acre. And the most expensive. But this is why it's my favorite:

Left side of kitchen:

Right side of the kitchen. Heaven for a cook, yes?
Living room into the dining room shot:

Yes, a stone gas fireplace, and that awesome window off the dining area. The ONLY con I could find was, I hate carpet in the dining room. Seriously...who does that? Childless, petless single people maybe. No offense, Beth.

This next shot is just weird to me:

I like the glass shower okay. Seems a little strange and voyeuristic, but again, I am one of those, in a clean, open-your-living-room-curtains sort of way. Do love the tub, even though it's not my preferred garden tub.

And finally, someone catered to my personal pet peeve:

A separated potty! You can't really tell by this picture alone, but the potty is mostly private from the tub & shower, so you aren't soaking in bubble bliss, staring at a nasty comode. I'm just sayin'!

Are you on info overload yet? I was! I already had a terrible head cold and when the Starbucks sugar high left my system, I crashed hard. I couldn't talk or think houses until today really. I did enjoy it all, even the one we ran screaming from due to the stain in the bedroom. Beth said blood, but Carolyn and I chose to believe "pet" stain. A pet elephant, apparently. Sorry, Louise, didn't stay long enough to get pictures.

So, there you have it. Stay tuned as round two continues next week.That's where I drag Chad & hopefully Dad and Clifton along to the top 3 in our budget (sadly, not the last & favorite one).

Micah Goes to School

2009-08-18T18:19:00.008-04:00

a.k.a. Mommy Scares the Preschoolers

Okay, so I probably wasn't that bad...I hope. Micah, my little big boy, officially started Preschool yesterday and I may or may not have had a mini meltdown that may or may not have been in front of his class and may or may not have involved me driving down the wrong side of the road for an undetermined period of time, sobbing my eyes out. Maybe.

Okay, the truth is, I started bawling all over his poor, wonderful teacher, Miss Carissa, and she, being such a great teacher, reassured me that he would be loved on, cared for, and that she would be the sobbing mess by the time school ended next May. (Let's hope so!)

I know he's my third child to start school and I should be a semi-pro at this, but this was a little harder on me than the other two for a couple of good reasons.

One, Katie & Ethan were 5 years old when they started Kindergarten. Micah is 4 (and a half!) and going into Preschool. It just seems wrong on so many levels. But, he needs speech therapy and this seems to be the cheapest (free) way to get him what he needs, before Kindgergarten and the "real" learning begins .I learned the hard way with Katie & Ethan...waiting until Kindgergarten handicaps them in many ways.

Which leads me to my next reason: I started bawling when it came time to leave my little baby in a room full of kids and adults that probably wouldn't understand half of what he said. It would be like being deaf without sign language.

But, that's when she reassured me that he would be loved, they would call if they needed me, I could call them if I was worried, and he would be fine.

Guess what! She was right :) And, no, I did not call. But I was tempted. Just don't want to be that mom. Yet.

He was totally okay, they said they had no trouble communicating with him, and he was awake and ready to go to school again this morning, so apparently all is well.

Worry, much? Yep. Yes, I do. It's hard reliquishing control and custody, even temporarily, of my children. It almost seems criminal that we spend the first 5 years warning them about strangers, then BAM! We send them on a bus with total strangers, to a school with total strangers, all in authority over them.

That's where my faith & prayer come in. I have learned that I can drive myself crazy with all the "what if" thoughts...or I can leave it God's hands. So, I covered him in prayer, then reminded God - "I gave each one of them to You the day they were born. Now it's Your turn. Please take care of OUR children." Then, I have to rest in the knowledge that He is in charge. Always has been, really, but it's just another level of trust on my part.

Anyway...the end of the story is, Micah has excellent, LOVING teachers, he loves school, and Ben is a much calmer, sweeter child when Micah is not around. Ooops! I mean, Ben really misses Micah and they get along much better now :)

And, per usual, pictures of the momentus event:

Not quite awake...

Compare the School Veterans' faces to that of the Newbie:

After a little threatening...

Miss Gloria (Co Teacher), Miss Carissa (Teacher), & Micah
2nd Day of School
August 19, 2009

Pictures don't do them justice! They are kind, sweet, and good to my baby...what more can a mom ask for?!

Happy Birthday, Katie!

2009-08-18T12:30:00.009-04:00

I am so behind on posting! So, poor Katie, if you ever read this in the future, please don't take it personally! Every time I did manage to get online this week, I was house hunting. And we know how badly you want me to find us a house right now, right?!!

So, here's your story, baby girl:

Katie was my first born, aka, first pregnancy. It was perfect...I stayed small for the most part, gaining mostly in my belly (and nose, according to Charity). I was happy and in love, a newlywed, so it was all good. In fact, we lived in a one room apartment and I didn't even care. ONE ROOM. As in, there was a kitchen, attached to a living room/dining room/bedroom, then a bath room. We could fit a bed, dresser, and tv in the one room and barely have room to get to the bathroom & kitchen. Aw, young love!

So, Katie's crib was in the kitchen. Next to the ball python snake.

Anyway, I was impatient, which ended up being true of every pregnancy of mine, and wanted my baby out NOW. I wanted meet the little person responsible for pulvarizing my insides day and night. I would seriously stand in the shower and sob because she wouldn't stop kicking and kicking and kicking. It's one of the ways my midwife knew she was a girl - go figure. But, it was also my only complait while pregnant.

The day I found my first stretch mark, I begged the midwife to break my water. Vain? Have you met me?! She made me wait another week, then broke it at my last appointment with one of those lovely hooks, and I started contracting about 20 minutes later. She sent me home to pack (I had packed most of my baby stuff but nothing for me...it just seemed like it was never going to happen. Lesson learned, I packed early the next 3 times), and told me to get straight to the hospital. Then, she gave me the best advice - EAT. She said most doctors tell you not to eat, because they don't like to clean up the "mess" that comes with delivery, but she said EAT. Um, ever been in hard labor? Yeah, food is the last thing on your mind.

But not so for Chad. He decided to go through Taco Bell while I was in labor. He actually got to order but before we could get to the window, I was yelling, "GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"

The nurses told me not to worry, my first baby was probably going to take 12+ hours at least, so I might as well chill out and try to rest. Fortunately for me, they were dead wrong and 4 hours after she broke my water, Katie MacKenzie was born :)

She is the only one that I had an epidural with, so I felt nothing whatsoever. This messed with my head later and I swore I'd never do that again...and I didn't. They ran everyone out of the room to check me and Katie's head was RIGHT THERE. They started running around like crazy, called the midwife, who was half a block away. She ran in the door, told me to push and after 3 good pushes, Katie was out.

She weighed 7lbs 5oz, which ended up being my biggest baby, and was 20 or 21 inches long. Good lord, that was 10 years ago and I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast today! In fact, I had to think about how to spell her middle name!

I do remember that I finally let the nurse take her to the nursery later that night so I could sleep a few hours and they brought her back to me within a couple of hours. Apparently she was screaming her head off and they couldn't get her calmed down, which woke up all the other babies in the nursery. It made me feel so good to know my little girl wanted me so badly. I felt so loved and needed in that moment.

After two days, they packed us up and told us to take our little girl home. Chad & I got her put in the carseat, then in the car, then just sat there. In shock. Chad said, "Um, are we supposed to just leave with her?" It just all felt so surreal. In a matter of seconds, minutes, we were suddenly responsible for another human being. A TINY human being.

As for the snake, mom prayed hard and that thing got some kind of neurological disease and died about 6 months later.

Now my little girl is a dog-lovin', talkative, independent big girl. She was beautiful from the day she was born and still is...inside and out. She's also reading this over my shoulder so I have to say that ;)

Here are some of my favorite pictures. Unfortunately, digital cameras were completely out of my price range 10 years ago and my scanner is in storage. The earliest pictures I have available right now are from around age 3 or 4:

One of my first digital pictures ever - September 2002

LOVE this one! Caught her in my bathroom with my toothbrush.

3 years old

She LOVED this bathing suit, and all things dalmatian. She finally branched out about 3 years ago and loves ALL dogs equally but passionately.

Kimono Katie
4 years old

My all time favorite picture :)
Katie & Mommy ~ 2003

This is when she started getting stopped all the time for looking like Dakota Fanning. Check out Dakota in "I Am Sam" and tell me that's not a less pretty version of Katie!
2003 - 4 years old

Her Paris Hilton phase...lasted a nanosecond, thank God!

Her pirate face :) Seirously, she used to make that face everytime she saw a camera. Drove me NUTS.

Hula girl

First day of Kindergarten at Yokota Air Base, Japan
2004
(I was about 5 months pregnant with Micah)

One of my all time favorites of Katie, taken in October, 2007.

8 years old

Her favorite picture, probably LOL...Katie and her dogs.
May 2009

Her 10th birthday cake - can you tell she picked it out? I insisted on the pink & purple ;)

Very happy dog lover with her new LPS VIP.

You moms of girls know what that all means ;)

Happy (belated) 10th birthday, Katie. Now stop making me old!!!

Fingers Crossed!!!

2009-08-13T19:05:00.003-04:00

Okay, if you're anything like me, as soon as you get back from vacation you realize something: you need another vacation after all the stress from the first vacation!

Well, maybe not quite that bad, but I ran across this giveaway from Fun & Frugal and had to share - and hopefully earn some points in the process ;)

"Looking for something fun to do this weekend? Something different? Something WILD? Why not head out to the Wilderness - Wilderness at the Smokies, that is. Located just a short drive away in Sevierville, TN, Wilderness at the Smokies is the region’s newest and largest waterpark resort, and it offers adventurous travelers the perfect blend of fun and relaxation. Snuggled up next to the foothills of the scenic Smoky Mountains, Wilderness at the Smokies is situated on 700 acres in one of the nation’s most popular vacation spots. Visit us at www.wildernessatthesmokies.com or call 877-325- WILD (9453)!"

Check out that link - doesn't that place look awesome!? Wouldn't my four fun lovin' kids, hubby, and I love to win a free stay at Wilderness at The Smokies? Ummmm, let me think about that....YES!!!

Because I am such a nice person and great friend, I will even post the giveaway link here...but hurry, it ends tomorrow!

http://www.funandfrugal.com/2009/08/win-a-two-night-getaway-to-wilderness-at-the-smokies-in-sevierville-tn-500-value/

Fingers crossed and prayers said - right?!

The Big One

2009-08-12T20:43:00.004-04:00

Ben came in our room a few minutes ago whining about E-ah (Ethan) hurting him or taking his toy or something along those lines. So Chad tells Ben," Go get me a switch and I'll spank Ethan with it, okay?"

Ben comes back about 3 minutes later with THIS:

Have you ever seen such a little boy with such a big stick? Isn't that the funniest thing you've seen today? I mean, SERIOUSLY!

And know what he says? "Here, daddy, I dot a bid one for you. Spaint E-ah!"

Needless to say, Chad fell off the bed laughing. I, of course, grabbed my camera ;)

*Disclaimer: I do not spank my kid with switches. As a child, I hated being spanked with a switch - it hurt more than I think a spanking needs to, to get a point across. I promised myself I would never do that to my own child and I haven't.

Apparently, all those threats Louise makes every time she sees Ben finally got through his little brain and he thought was a GREAT idea...for Ethan!

Nashville

2009-08-10T20:12:00.012-04:00

So my wonderful mother in law, Jody, called us up about a month ago and asked if we wanted to meet her in Nashville for the weekend, sometime before school. She was having severe grandchildren withdrawals and, well, who am I to keep them from their grandparents?!

Chad has 5 days straight off, every third week - pretty awesome, right? So, we planned the two night stay in a motel (with a pool, a MUST), for this past weekend. Jody insisted that all four kids stay in her room, which means Chad & I had a lovely king sized bed and room to ourselves...HEA-VEN.

Seriously, have I mentioned how much I love my mother in law today?!?!?!

She is about the only person I know that thinks that sort of thing is fun. I'd almost rather eat paint that spend two whole days in a motel room with my own kids. They are great kids, well behaved (though energetic) kids, in my (and Jody's) opinion, but it's just usually not a relaxing environment. You find out just *how* long they can really watch cartoons. Turns out, not that long.

Anyway, so we met up and she was in Grandchild Heaven, loving all over her grandbabies, and Chad & I were in, well, Vacation Heaven. We all went swimming, walked the huge Ole Opry Mall, petted stingrays (not me, of course -gross AND dangerous!), played putt putt golf in the dark (Glow Golf!), ate tons of junk food (IHOP, the kids' favorite), swam some more, and watched a lot of cable tv (realized I REALLY miss cable tv!).

The highlight of the weekend for me was catching up with old friends from Japan. We met Jenny & Kurtis about 5 years ago when we were all stationed in Japan. Jenny and I were pregnant together - she with her first, Aidyn, and me with Micah. They were born 11 days apart. We haven't seen them since we left Japan in June of 2005.

We found each other on myspace about 6 months ago and, lo and behold, they live in Nashville now! They picked us up Saturday night and took us to Wild Bill's Buffalo Wings - so delicioso! Of course, I talked so much that in two hours I managed to eat just 5 of my 12 wings. Luckily Chad was there to help me out ;)

We talked, laughed, and caught up on who is stationed where, who got out of the Air Force, and how hard it has been to get a job and home in this ecomony. They were in the same boat we are now, until recently. Up until the middle of June of this year, they were living with his dad, looking for a decent job, then trying to find a house with some land in their price range and area. They ended up living 30 miles outside of Nashville in a beautiful doublewide on a permanent foundation, on 5 acres of land. It's like they have my house!!!

They begged us to move to Nashville, come visit any time, stay with them when Chad had interviews, etc. It was like we had never been away from each other the past 4 years!

So, that said, we've already started following up on some pointers they gave us on jobs in the Nashville area. We actually looked there when we first got out of the military but since we didn't know much about the local job market, we didn't have much to go on and eventually quit looking. When we first discussed where we wanted to live two years ago, Nashville was #1 on my list.

It just feels like we've come full circle and that maybe the whole weekend was an appointment set up by God. We'll see. If I've learned anything, it's to not put my own expectations on anything and just let God work it all out.

So, that said, here are the many pictures:

An Aquarium Restaurant in the Opry Mills Mall

Stingray petting aquarium

Indoor Carousel

Mammaw Jody - isn't she gorgeous?

Yep, she & Ben petted the stingrays!

Check out Micah's face! I was totally expecting him to fall in and me have to push Chad in after him!

I have always loved seahorses. Chad says, but they don't DO anything!
To which I reply, they're beautiful - they don't have to do anything!

See the three that couldn't be bothered to look at the camera?

Glow Golf - it was pitch black in there but my flash did it's job. See Ben & Micah in the background, making their golf balls glow? It was their favorite part of the day, I think LOL.

See Ben cheat?

See Micah shoot like a pro?

Right after this picture, Micah took a huge swing and about decapitated Chad & Ben. How sweet is this shot, though?!

Proof he *can* still move his butt ;)

She had a pretty bad case of poisen oak or sumac and wouldn't let us take many pictures of her face :(

I got in the pool with my tshirt on over a bathing suit and Katie flipped out. I told her, I used to have to wear a skirt & shirt to swim! They have NO idea sometimes LOL.

You know me, always playing.

Fun time! Me & Chad, Jenny & Kurtis - isn't she gorgeous? She is going to be a dental assistant in 2 more weeks, which is perfect because she has a perfect, white smile!

Views like this one made me appreciate the beautiful state of Tennessee all over again.

By the way, I'll try to post more often now. I've been so busy house & job hunting, but I do want to document the process as we go, if only for myself. Thank you for all the great comments of encouragement lately. I take each one to heart and they are always timely and helpful.
God bless!

So...

2009-08-07T00:22:00.005-04:00

I've kind of been at a stand still for the past several days. Basically, ever since hearing the good news/bad news from our first loan prequalification (is that *really* a word?!). But after I few days of thinking, over thinking, sleep deprevation (from more over thinking), and finally putting it all in God's hands, I've decided: it's all according to His will, so I'm not going to sweat the details.

Sounds like a cop out, huh?

But, God is in the details, so, I just going to take this as it comes. First things first: if the other family does not purchase that double wide on 2.4 acres, we are going to give it a shot. There are lending companies out there that do that sort of thing. I appreciate the bank lender's view, but she made it sound impossible, which nearly crushed my hope. But I made her admit it wasn't impossible...just a little harder. Which, I have a feeling, not as hard as she said.

So.

I admit, I did go out to that property on Wednesday and pray that God would let the other family find something they liked better, so we could have it. OR...let us find something better.

And then, I did something I almost hate to do. Not hate, but...you know. It's HARD. I repeated the very words Jesus said before going to the cross: "...Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done." (Mark 14:36)

Ugh! Is there anything harder for a control freak to say? Not likely. Well, except "I'm sorry." I'd rather bite nails that say that one sometimes.

Anyway. That's what I did. There must be a reason, a plan. I'm big on plans, as you've probably figured out by now. I don't really even freak if the plan isn't followed verbatim. I just need the plan so I can quit worrying something won't get done.

But this time, God has the plan and He doesn't share much of it with me. In fact, I'd say I know ZERO of the plan right now. Why are we still living with my parents? I know what He's capable of, so why doesn't He part my Red Sea? Heal my leprosy? Raise my dead?

I dunno. But He's working His plan. Hmmm. Reminds me of a song:

When your back's against the wall and you're trying to stand tall in your faith.

When you can't go over and you can't go around so you wait.

Even when you don't understand, you're still in the palm of His hand.

You just wait, He won't be late...He's workin' His plan!

Another interesting update: I try to apply for jobs for Chad each week. If I can just get two resumes out to a new company, at least feel like I'm doing my part. A friend mentioned a helicopter company that loves to hire ex military, and that she has a cousin working for them. She called me today with their info and I applied for 4 different jobs that Chad definitely qualified for. Good news, right? Bad news is, three were in Texas, one was in Louisianna.

I'm just doing MY part.

Sorry, Mom.

I am praying we stay closer than Texas, but you never know what God has in mind. Remember Japan?!

Here's my smile for today:

If that don't make you laugh out loud...well, you better check your pulse!

Still here...

2009-08-05T15:45:00.002-04:00

but SO busy! I'll post a back to school update later, but for now, a little encouragement for us all:

"These all died in faith, not havig received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland....

But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."

Hebrews 11:13-16

Remember ALL His promises!

Ode to Ben...yes, another birthday!

2009-08-01T20:13:00.011-04:00

Happy Birthday, my little three year old! It almost hurts to type that sentence out! 3 years ago today I was racing around, trying to find someone to watch my three kids so I could get my aching, contracting self to the hospital. I was 3 weeks from my due date, which was pretty exciting. You, or at least *I*, always expect the worse when it comes to going before or after your due date.

That's me, 3 years ago: 37 weeks and miserable!

Daddy meeting his newest son for the first time - I love this picture! Always gives me the warm fuzzies ;)

My doctor was kind of new and very paranoid once she found out my last labor had lasted only 45 minutes and ordered me to the hospital at the first sign of a contraction. That's right - 45 minutes! With Katie it was four hours, with Ethan two hours. But the doctor in Japan got a little stir crazy when my water broke with Micah but the contractions didn't start right up...so they gave me Pitocin. A.K.A. Drug from Hell. That stuff speeds up your contractions, but BAM! Gives 'em a little kick in the tail too. So, it was only 45 minutes but it was the LONGEST 45 minutes of my life!

Micah meets Ben, his future BFF

Check out Micah's scary hair LOL! He looked like a troll doll! He was soooo adorable - 18 months old, with about 3 teeth - 2 in back, one in front...and heck on wheels!

It was a 20 minute drive, so my doctor was worried I would deliver Ben on the side of the road. Frankly, so was I. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening!

This was seriously the sweetest nurse I ever had - she let Katie & Ethan help with Ben's first bath, teaching them all about newborn babies. It was the nicest thing she could have done. I left a glowing recommendation for her!

Ethan was totally grossed out but he was a trooper and scrubbed little Ben's pastey body.

A little word to those who care: I had an epidural with my first baby, a shot of Stadol with my 2nd, and a shot of something starting with an "N" with my 3rd, the Pitocin baby, Micah.

Then comes Ben. I'm all cocky from having had a 45 minute labor & delivery with just a shot of pain reliever and I'm thinking, How hard could it be to do this totally natural? Turns out - VERY HARD.

Still being good little helpers:

I'll stop with all the pain talk now. Let's just say, it's a good thing we had already planned to quit after the fourth cause there was NO way I was doing that again!

Anyway, he was my weirdest labor - started very slow, around 1:30pm, admitted myself to the labor ward around 4:30pm - alone. Chad was at work and his supervisor was raising cain about anyone leaving unless it was an emergency. Apparently giving birth to your FOURTH child is not considered an emergency. If that supervisor, prolly some Captain, had been any where near me, he would have been a dead Captain. Seriously.

Benjamin Lee - 7lbs, 4oz

Big Sister Katie (2 weeks before 7th bday)

Chad finally showed up around 7:30 pm, with instructions to come back if it wasn't serious. Hmmm. Wish I knew that guy's name - for shizzle!

So, I'm still having contractions but they don't seem to be doing anything. I'm not used to this! I'm usually a Wham! Bam! Thank ya, Ma'me! kind of L&D kind of girl. The doctor wouldn't break my water, which I think they should totally do once they know it's the real deal, so I just sat there contracting for about 6 hours. Finally, I talked her into and he was born about an hour or two later. I'm real fuzzy on the details because I was stressed about the other three kids, mad at Chad's Captain, and in a LOT of pain with no relief in sight. I am too stubborn for my own good sometimes!

Looking like I just had a baby LOL

Oh, another fun fact: I didn't have any family to keep the other three kids, so I had to ask someone from my church to watch them. They reluctantly agreed, which always makes you feel GREAT about leaving your kids with someone. In fact, she called me about 10 minutes after he was born and asked if Chad was coming to pick them up yet.

But God gave me the most amazing mother in law and as soon as she heard I was in labor, she left Ohio and headed to D.C. She was there about an hour after he was born. Chad took her and they went to pick Katie, Ethan, & Micah up, brought them back to the hospital, where they got to meet Ben, give him his first bath, etc. Then, she stayed with us for about 5 days, which was a life saver since we ended up running back & forth to the hospital for weight loss & jaundice. I LOVE MY MOTHER IN LAW! (Jessica told me that when she goes into labor, she's calling MY mother in law instead of hers LOL!)

But little Ben was completely healthy, thank God. He was different from the beginning. For starters, he was a "sleepy" baby. I never understood what that meant until then. He would sleep 12 hours straight without waking to eat. He lost weight instead of gaining during the first three weeks, we had to admit him back to the hospital after 3 days or so for jaundice, I think because he wasn't eating enough to flush out his system. So, I did have to wake a sleeping baby to make him eat - something I have NEVER had to do!

He also wouldn't sleep good at night unless I held him in my arms. (He's sleep all day without waking once. The longest I ever let him go was about 12-14 hours straight.) But at night he'd fuss and fuss until I picked him up. Even to this day, his favorite place to sleep is in my bed, curled up tight next to me. It is both the sweetest and most aggrivating thing at times LOL. I love it, but he ends up sideways and kicking me in the head, every single night. Oh well. Secretly, I love it all. He's the baby and that's how it should be ;) And he still sleeps the longest of all my kids - 12 hours straight (if he's in my bed) is nothing for this kid!

9 days old:

How sweet is that?!?!

I love birth stories - don't you? Each one is always unique and sweet :)

By the way, we had a small birthday party at home with family only today. He got so many toys, and wanted to play with each one instead of opening the next gift. What a blessed family we are! Thank you to all the aunts & Grandma that made it so special!

Future BFFs: 18 months & 9 days

August 1st, 2009: 4 1/2 & 3 years old ~ mostly BFFs :)

Ode to Jessica

2009-07-31T17:46:00.005-04:00

24 years ago today, mom was digging a ditch around the tent. Seems there was a storm coming and for some reason we had not dug a ditch around the tent yet. For those catching up, Dad was/is a tent preacher. We traveled the 3 or 4 summer months, staying in each town about 2-3 weeks. Luckily, or thanks to Dad's ingenious plan, we were in New Albany, Indiana, on mom's due date, where all our extended family lived and still live. Holla, Linn & Dana!

So, there she is, nine months pregnant and digging a ditch. Now that I look back, maybe...just maybe...she was TRYING to go into labor. Because there is nothing more miserable than a full term pregnant woman. In the hottest month of the year. Under a tent....digging a ditch.

Sure enough, she went into labor. I remember Dad rushing her to the hospital, leaving Neal in charge, I guess. Still a little fuzzy about that part. Maybe we stayed with Grandma F.

Anyway, I do remember we still went on with church that night. Jessica must have already been born by then, and dad left mom at the hospital, which was about 3 blocks away, to preach the service. Then, due to a lack of insurance, she came home the very next day.

Let me just say, after having my own four babies, I don't know how she did it! Jessica was the 6th baby, so she was coming home to 5 more kids to take care of. She told me later, maybe she shouldn't have tried so hard to be Superwoman. The problem with everyone thinking your Superwoman is, everyone thinking your Superwoman!

So, she came home barely 24 hours later with Jessica Christine. I always loved your name! It sounds so elegant to me. Anyway, that night mom stayed in the camper during service, something that scared me since I'd never seen her miss a service. In fact, I think Bro. Hall sent Dad to get you that very night and that is when he carried you around as he preached, eventually prophesying over you. I'll tell you about that one later!

Anyway, so this little scrawny baby joined our family and I became Mommy Jr. I carried you around like my little doll baby. I remember walking across Grandma F's living room floor, carrying you, for the very first time. All. By. My. Self. I was a Big Girl now! I fed her (water bottles when mom was busy), changed her diapers...she was my very own Baby Alive!

In fact, I got so good at it all, when Jessica was 2 months old, I would get her to sleep in my bed, then mom would come and take her to her bassinett. I was eight years old.

Mom used to get migraine headaches. A lot. The really awful, can't-handle-light-noise-breathing kind of migraine. And, probably because of the hormone changes, she seemed to get them more frequently after having a baby. So, I got to play mommy to you a LOT. In fact, we went to school just about a block away from our house, at the time, and my principal would get a phone call from mom saying she needed me because she had a really bad migraine. A teacher would walk me to the edge of the busy highway, watch me walk across, and through the woods home. I always felt so big & special for getting to do that ;)

So, I've been around your WHOLE life, Jessica. I remember you going through my electric blue purse when I wasn't looking...you were four. I have the picture, somewhere. I remember you doing your little dance for me in Beth's room. Wasn't that just last year?! Still have the video...hmmm, maybe I should post that on my blog!

I guess I said all that to say this: Happy 24th Birthday!

Don't hate me for these! I don't have all my pictures with me!!!

I think you were about 15 or 16 here.

You look great! Beth, not so much LOL!

I know I use this one a lot, but it's my all time fave of all of us, minus Beth.
I think this was a group hug about 2 years ago when I was heading back to D.C.

Another fave: Jess & Ben's Spa Day

A little blurry, but hard to get a good one of Pretty McMom's sparkly smile

Yes, there's Louise messing up your photo op with Mom; you have to forgive her, she never got over being replaced as my Baby Alive ;)

I could say so many great things about you. For instance, Chad used to tell me you should be a model because you walk with such poise and grace. I agree. And you have always been the most reserved of us all, it seems. Always holding a little bit of yourself back. But you fit right where God planted you. In the middle of 5 sisters and 3 brothers. "Smith" #6 :)

I love you, Boo!

Loan update...

2009-07-30T15:46:00.003-04:00

There's good news and bad news. I'll start with the good first:

We qualified for way more than we need or want. We know exactly what we can afford right now, and our monthly payment HAS to stay under $500 a month. In fact, our goal is more around $400. I know most of you are saying, WHAT?! $400 a month for a house - that's not possible! But it is possible...if we can keep the price of the house at or under $65,000. And that is possible. I found a house that I love (brick, large fenced yard, 3bdrms, remodeled kitchen, etc) for $70,000. Unfortunately, someone else loves it too and has a contract pending. But they ARE out there!

Another good thing: we qualify for a VA loan, which means no down payment required. We do have a modest downpayment of about $7,000 available.

I know, I'm prolly not supposed to tell people that stuff but I wish more people were a little more open about the home buying process. Most of my help has come from hearing other people's experiences of purchasing a house.

Anyway, so, say we found a $70,000 home. With our $7,000 down payment, we are looking at a loan of only $65,000 ($63,000 plus about $2,000 for tax & insurance), at 5% interest (that's the percentage we were given today), so our payment would be about $400 - $425 a month.

That's the good news.

Bad news is: they will not loan us money on a manufactured home, which is what 80% of the homes we have found, in our price range of $70,000 and under, are. That is prolly one messed up sentence, but you get the point.

Modular, yes. Manufactured (i.e., single wide, double wide) NO. I don't love manufactured, but you have to do what you have to do to put a roof over your family's head, and that seemed to be what we have to do. Except now, we find out they won't even loan us money for one. They don't appreciate at near the level of a "real" house.

It is such a big bummer since I found a double wide with 4 bdrms, 2 dens (aka, I get an office!), only 6 years old, sitting on 2.4 acres. Better still, it is in same school zone so no switching schools, AND it is out in the country. Surrounded by horse farms, cows, hills, trees...only one near neighbor, and on a dead end road. That's a DEAL - right? Oh, asking price is $69,900. So I was jumping up and down - till today. They will not loan us money for it.
Now, she did say we could just start dialing morgage companies, find one that loans on a manufactured home. But she said it will be very difficult, and they have more fees than a bank typically does.

Anyway...that's where we are. Just lost about 80% of the houses in our price range. That's a blessing and a curse. Helps narrow down the field, cuts out wasted time, but makes it more imparative to find that hidden gold mine, that more excellent deal.

Again, with God, ALL things are possible.

And that's my update ;)

I don't know about you, but I need another moment of zen for this day, so here it is:

I thought I saw a bud on my pepper plant and took a picture. Later, after I downloaded it to my laptop, I found that amazing butterfly. She (remember, ugly males, beautiful females ;) is gorgeous, with red & blue stripes. See if you can blow the picture up. May have to copy & paste it to your computer first, but it's worth it!

Need some prayers!

2009-07-30T11:55:00.006-04:00

Guess what Chad & I will be doing today: going to talk to a loan officer about a loan for a house! That's Big Girl stuff - thankfully, I'm wearing my Big Girl panties today ;)

So, wish us luck, pray we find favor and actually qualify for a loan. Last time we got this far in the process, over 3 years ago in Waldorf, MD, the real estate agent laughed at us after reading our financial paperwork. Seems $180,000 there is a JOKE, and you had to qualify for at least $210k before they'd discuss buying a home with you.

I guess I have a little bit of fear that it will be a repeat of that, but with a lower number. His pay has been almost cut in half since then. But, God is not the author of fear, and He is the One working this plan to my good. So regardless of what happens today, it's all in His hand. Besides, He doesn't actually need MY credit, MY money to get this done. I've heard some miraculous things my God has done and lets just say, He's able!

Just please pray for us. I believe in the power of prayer! I dont want to go ahead of God, or try to make MY will His will. In the end His will is what will be done, but it can involve costly lessons for us if we don't wait on Him. I don't want to lose money because I tried to force God's hand to do what *I* want.

Anyway. Our appointment is at 1:30pm. I'll update you with what we find out, hopefully tonight.

Here's your moment of zen for today:

Now isn't that something?!!!

All About the Benjamin

2009-07-28T17:17:00.000-04:00

My baby will be THREE next Saturday - that hurts! He is so funny and goofy, sweet and sassy...he fills the role of "youngest sibling" very well!

Right now he is covered in bruises and band aids. Today, alone, I have heard, "I huwt!" at least 5 times - 3 of which were blamed on Micah. If he were to fall and break something anytime soon, I would prolly try to set the bone myself first, just to avoid a trip to the hospital and all the questions that are sure to follow.

Think I'm exaggerating?

I don't kid about boo boos!

Notice the bottom lip - that is courtesy of a four wheeler mishap with Uncle Aaron - he bumped his mouth on it as they hit a dip.

Helmet is now mandatory.

He was in my lap as I tried to use the camera upside down & backwards:

Obviously, he can rock a boo boo ;)

See the cool spidey bandaid? Yeah, Micah wacked him with a "wite sabah". That's Micah code for light saber. Thank you George Lucas!

Is that still not the sweetest face?!?

Beth: this is why I never have any gum or candy in church:

And I am proud to report that he is officially potty trained. And I use the word "potty" loosely:

Sorry, Grandma. And future adult Ben. It had to be done!

*sigh* I treasure each day his foot is smaller than mine!
P.S. Ben loves my "boo" toes and I love to hear him call blue "boo" :)

So that is my little ramble about my baby Ben. I'm entitled every now & then - he was my worst labor & delivery out of the four of them!

Ben & Micah Get Along

2009-07-27T16:55:00.000-04:00

aka, I have the best mother in law in the world! She is always sending the kids stuff in the mail, usually individually packaged (that's LOVE), and usually full of candy, books, and all kinds of odds and ends. Once, she sent them all really weird candy from Mexico that they wouldn't hardly touch - that says a lot about how weird it was LOL. Spiders, snakes...and they looked a little too real! And lets just say, the Mexicans are a little behind on the idea of *sweet* candy!

Anyway, she recently sent them a packed stuffed with candy and some little sticker and activity books for the boys. I sat down with them on the floor, got them started with some crayons and their Cars activity books, and there was peace on the homefront for 10 whole minutes! I took pictures to prove it's actually possible for Ben & Micah to co-exist and, dare I say it, GET ALONG!

Ignore the clutter - I have junk for a family of 6 crammed in that room! (and a Double bed comforter on a King mattress ;)

He was so intense about getting that sticker right where he wanted it!

I just love how kids are always sitting in some funky position that would kill an adult:

just like this one!

After I got to looking through my pictures, I found a couple other times Ben & Micah got along.

Making funny faces at mom:

Playing in the dirt together *shudder*

Boys will be boys! But aren't they the most gorgeous boys you have EVER seen? Yes, that includes Conner, Louise. And your twins, Linn!

House hunting

2009-07-24T12:27:00.004-04:00

I have an appointment to look at two houses today - woo hoo!

This whole process makes me a nervous wreck. First of all, no offense to the real estate agents out there, but I HATE dealing with real estate agents. We've done this before and, in the past, they pushed us to go for something we knew we couldn't afford, even if the bank said we could.

I found one good one in Waldorf, MD, about 5 years ago, Sheila, and she actually became a good friend. She would tell Katie, "Lets touch and agree that this one will be THE one" and then touch her pointer finger to Katie's pointer finger. The first time she did that, I thought, SHE'S the one!!!

She ended up telling me where she went to church, which she said she wasn't technically supposed to do, but we were new to the area and really needed some guidance. I didn't go to her church, but a month or two later while at a birthday party, I heard some moms talking about God, about how He had given them all jobs, etc. I got excited and said, "Where do you go to church?!" And guess where they went to church? Yep, Sheila the real estate agent's church!

I took that for what it was, a little nudge from God, and I started going there. We stayed for almost 2 years, even after we moved 20 minutes away. I still email several people from that church, including my friend Sheila.

So, you never know who is going to impact your life, or become a life long friend. God uses so many people to help us get to where we need to be, if we are truly following Him.

Anyway, keep us in your prayers. It will take a miracle for us to get into our own home this year, but He is a BIG God...and He does really awesome, BIG things!

PS I'll post pictures of the houses we look at later on.

Update: We had to reschedule the appointment for next Wednesday, which is better because only one of the houses she wanted to show me was in a neighborhood I could sleep in :)

Ode to Beth

2009-07-21T23:26:00.004-04:00

I'd like to dedicate today to a special girl. And by special, I mean the ride-the-little-yellow-school-bus kind of special. My sister Beth, or Boolie as I fondly refer to her (because she hates it!), is 31 years young today. Sadly, she did not ride the short, yellow bus to school...I was her designated driver most of the time. But it was a mini van and she IS special.

P.S. Turn up your volume just a little as you read this, check out my birthday song for Beth ;)

I was almost 19 months old when Beth was born and my favorite story mom tells is about the time 2 of my homies and I pulled 2 week old Beth off of the bed, on to the floor. It was my way of saying, "Get lost, Drama Queen!"

One of my least favorite stories involves a blanket. Imagine, if you will, a sweet little girl, about the age of 4. Now imagine she has a raggedy old blanket: her security blanket. Linus, but with girl parts. And in pink.

Now, imagine a spoiled little brat of about 2, also a girl. Or boy. But in this case, definitely a girl. Imagine that little brat is jealous of her older, wiser, prettier sister. And jealous of her cute little, pink blanket. Now, imagine this sweet little girl, the 4 year old, clutching her blanket in horror as the 2 year old unholy terror screams, kicks, and pitches the biggest fit you've ever seen, all because she wants THAT blanket.

Now, in this story, there is a bad witch. And that bad witch takes the blanket and RIPS it in two, giving one half back to the poor, sweet princess, then handing the other half to the red faced, snotty nosed brat. (Chad added gorilla breathed but he wasn't there, and I can't swear to that fact). Can you see the heartache that poor little sweet Am...I mean girl went through? She was DEVASTATED. She cried her poor little heart out. That was her blanket! There is no telling the amount of therapy due said poor girl, though of course the spoiled brat never offered to pay for it.

And so began a long, turbulent relationship based on theft and jealousy.

However, being the older, wiser big sister, she did eventually forgive the little brat - I mean, girl. Though not forget, obviously. No, never forget.

So, here is my ode to Beth who, strangely enough, resembles that little bratty girl :)

Beth was the only family member to come visit me in Japan, in 2004 (I'm not bitter....I NOT bitter...). Check us out getting our Starbucks on in Tokyo!

Beth, Katie & Ethan in front of Mt. Fuji

We went everywhere, even though we couldn't read a map or speak the language. It was scarier than a rollercoaster!

One of my all time favorites - and check out her legs! The Japanese were facinated by Beth ;)

Jess, Aaron, Beth, & Melissa

Last summer

I can't find my favorite picture of us, taken last year at her surprise 30th birthday party -but wasn't that fun!?

Happy Birthday - I love you!!!

From my garden

2009-07-16T23:16:00.000-04:00

Look what I found in my little garden last week:

My very first harvest!!!

I LOVE watching my cucumber plant grow; it's really the most amazing plant. It's little, skinny tenacles are constantly reaching out farther and farther, stretching and pulling the plant along with it, to new territory. What started as a little starter plant has grown into this long, beautiful, vegetable-producing plant:

How cool is that?!
Just a few days later, I found this little guy hiding under a leaf:

He's about the length of my pinky finger here. Yes, HE. Remember my rule switch - ugly, knobby, green things are male; beautiful, elegant flowery things are female. My plants, my pictures, MY rules :)

So, I peeled, sliced, salted, and ate that thing down, after taking pictures, of course. Immediately after, I wondered if I should have offered up my first fruits to God. But then I figured,that was Old Law, we are under grace of the New Law, which, coincidentally I said (grace, that is) before swallowing it down.

Yum!

Then, low and behold, more delicioso vegetabilio (just made that one up!):

Three whole tomatoes! That's more than I eat a year! I hate tomatoes, except for an occasional bite of Chad's juicy cheeseburger, or in ketsup. I grew these just to say I grew 'em. And to make my husband and father happy. Apparently no farmer worth their weight in grain has a garden without tomatoes.

I really enjoy watching little seeds and plants that I put into the ground grow and produce something I can eat. I love watching the circle of life that God put into order those first 6 days of Creation. Something He began so long ago is still feeding me, six thousand years later - how awesome is that?!

Here are a few more pics of my mini garden. I only have the tomato plant, cucumber plant, and pepper plant:

Blooms on the cucumber plant

Pepper plant - still no sign of a pepper, just yet. Also, I think it has a virus, aka, a bug. Should I spray it with some kind of pesticide? Anyone know of a good, all natural - or close to it - one to use? Course, I don't eat peppers either, so if you tell me about a dangerous, unnatural one, it's only Chad & Dad that suffer ;)

12 year old drama...

2009-07-15T12:06:00.003-04:00

One of the greatest forms of escapism is to focus on someone else's drama for a few minutes, thus forgetting your own for a short time. And what better drama than that of a 12 year old. Remember how life and death everything was at the tender age of 12? When a trip to WalMart had the potential to change your life, where you sat in church could signal a crutial regime change, or when the smallest, silliest things could make or break your day?

Yeah, me neither ;)

But, my 12 year old sister Casey sure does!

So escape the hum drum of adulthood for a second and read what goes on in the drama-filled life of a preteen, via an email from little sister Casey to her older sister Louise (all grammatical errors are hers....sadly):

so i have a cold and my throat hurts its sore and i have sneezed about 15 times not kiddin and so today i woke up and katie and ethan were on the couch and i started to blow my nose and they both looked at me and started laughing and ethan says "you sound like a dinosaur" and they start laughing again and i still blowing my nose and katie says "hey look its a caseysaurus " and they start laughing again and ethan says "is the caseysaurus real and katie says "yea its real cause its standing right beside you " and i actually laughed at that one then shes like "she's not a dinosaur shes a dragon trying to blow fire out her nose" and they started cracking up again so i guess im a dinosaur and a dragon trying to blow fire out my nose.

Love Casey

Now, back to your own boring lives, right?

Here's your laugh for the day:

It's amazing how cute just flies right out the window as soon as you get on the phone, start the last chapter of a book, lay down to take a nap....then they show their true colors!

Deep Thoughts

2009-07-13T00:13:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking lately - which usually gets me in trouble - about sin, weights, and what it means to be a Christian. I'm chock full of deep thoughts, so I'm gonna share them so I can move on to other things!

I realized when my brother got saved, he is only the 3rd person I've ever been able to watch as they are transformed by salvation. Meaning, I knew him before and he was definitely not living a Godly lifestyle, and didn't claim to be. Then, I was able to witness an immediate change in him after he accepted Jesus as his saviour. I know God saves, and radically so, but most of the Christians I know, I didn't get to witness their transformation personally.

But this time, I get a front row seat...and it's been amazing!

I gave my heart to God at age 6. Some people don't believe it's a true confession at such a young age, because your level of comprehension is just not where it needs to be to grasp what all that entails. But for me, I knew there was sin, I knew Jesus died to save me, and I wanted Him in my heart. I prayed with my mom, and it's one of my earliest memories. I cherish it. I was also blessed to have that same conversation with Katie at age four, which blew my mind, and then Ethan at age 6 or 7.

Anyway, so I wasn't a hardened sinner, or big sinner of any kind, except for the fact we are all born into sin. (Let me say, I don't believe children go to Hell if they die without asking Jesus into their heart. I don't remember the Scriptures right now for why I believe that, but I find it if someone wants to know.) So there wasn't a radical change in me that I can really testify about. My testimony has been how God kept me from a lot of things. I didn't always follow Him perfectly, but most of my life has been lived trying to please Him.

Now I'm watching Aaron. He was bored with life, sullen, depressed, listless, and unhappy. He was in and out of trouble, serious trouble, and his life was getting messed up before it really even got started. Plus - and he knows this - Aaron was a huge liar. He would lie at the drop of a hat. Rediculous, fat lies. It was the most annoying thing about Aaron. You couldn't trust a word he said. For instance, I told him we were buying a four wheeler. He called my sister up and told her I was buying THREE four wheelers. His lies didn't even make sense, as they were easily disproved...but he couldnt' seem to stop himself and it drove us all nuts.

But that has all changed!

He is saved!

The lying stopped immediately! Now if he even exaggerates a little, he corrects himself immediately. If he says he caught 10 fish - you can bet he really caught 10 fish (and we know how fishermen like to tell their whoppers LOL). He is happy, he suddenly cares deeply that his friends and siblings find Jesus, he actually wants to go to church, every service, which is a BIG switch for him! He is talking to me about prayer, what he read in his Bible, having his Grandma pray for his best friend to get saved, quitting smoking, singing with me & Beth in church...I mean, he has been radically changed in just ONE week!

Even if I didn't see all of these things, I know he prayed and accepted Jesus into his heart. But these things are just encouragement that God is cleaning out the old man, and installing a NEW Aaron. He's moving in and taking over - how exciting is that?!

But not everyone allows God to change them after that first step. You can fight those changes, and lose so much that God did for you with that very first prayer you pray.

For example: Aaron didn't smoke a single cigerette for about 18-20 hours after he got saved last Sunday. That is a record for him. He smoked about a pack every day or every two days. But he got home the next day (from NC, where he got saved) around his friends and brother that smoke, they asked if he wanted to go outside for a smoke and he said yes, probably without thinking too hard about it. He told me tonight that he has smoked more this week than almost any week before. Why is that?

I think he he was delivered of cigerettes that first night and without even realizing it, he gave in the first time he was tempted and allowed that habit, that spirit, back into his life. He told me he is going to quit, and soon. I don't want him, or anyone, to feel like they have to clean up for God - that's GOD'S job. He cleans us up on his schedule, at His time, and with His help. So, I told him to follow God's lead on that stuff. If he's convicted - if he feels that little prick in his spirit when reaches for one, follow that and let God take that desire to smoke from him. We can't give things up just to please people...it's all about pleasing God.

And PS, yes I know smoking is not listed as a sin in the Bible...and I don't think it will send you to Hell. There's a scripture in the New Testament about "sins and weights"...I think smoking, just like some other things (cursing, in my book) are weights that hinder us (weigh us down) from something God wants to do in our lives, not to mention the affect it has on our Christian witness. And we are ALL called to be witnesses unto Him.

Second, it defiles the body. I know people that wouldn't drink caffeine for the same reason, or take Tylenol. Again, some of that is between you and God. Paul, I believe, said if meat offends your brother, don't eat meat in front of him. Just common sense, really.

If you override a conviction to give something up, to YOU it is sin. You would be in direct rebellion to God to hang on to something He says to give up. But to impose your own convictions on someone else and cause them to stumble is ALSO sin: He said it'd be better that a millstone was tied around your neck and you were cast into the sea, than to cause one of his little ones to stumble.

That's how protective God is over His own! We can rest in how much He loves us, what lengths He will go to take care of us.

So, don't give up on your loved ones, don't give up on yourself. He loves you with an everlasting love and He will not fail you. He will not leave you lonely. He has a plan for you, and you are a part of His plan, the bigger picture that began with Adam & Eve in the garden.

Can you tell I went to church twice today?!?! LOL :) Also, I took a nap!

P.S. Aaron doesn't read my blog, but I also would say everything I just wrote to his face, and he would totally agree. We actually have talked about most of this stuff already. God is so good!

Ya'll Come back now!

2009-07-11T16:55:00.008-04:00

Mt. Airy, NC, is the home of Andy Griffin. If I'm not mistaken, they actually filmed the show there, back in the day when it was on location and not a bunch of studio sets in California.

Aunt Bea has a restaurant named after her, as does Goober. Then, the downtown area has his barber and other tourist traps. One of our faves is The Emporium. 3 stories of shopping and eating. Normally, I would not take 4 kids to a knick knack haven, but Beth thinks I am Super Mom and she is Super Aunt, so she talked me into it. I'm amazed we didn't get kicked out...it wasn't exactly kid friendly:

They had a whole section of dog stuff - Katie found her Happy Place:

See the Monkey Backpack/leash? See it NOT doing it's job?
That rocker, by the way, was like $250!

Seriously, Katie's "happy place"

And this is my happy place :)

I have a friend that cut his twin boys' door in half, and put bars up the top half. He didn't go all the way up, and woke up one morning to find the couch, carpet, and walls covered in syrup, ketsup, and all kinds of fun stuff. They had climbed OVER the bars. That is totally a story I could relate to.

Mock up of Andy's police desk:

Hello? Hello? Could you imagine still using one of those?

Oh! funny story!
My mother in law laughed so hard telling me this: One day, when Katie & Ethan were with her that 3 weeks , after Chad's grandma died, the phone rang. Jody was talking to a friend on the phone when Ethan walked up to her and said "WOW! Grandma, how'd you do that?!" She whispered, "What are you talking about?" She said he just kept saying, "Wow, that is so cool! How'd you do that Grandma?" She finally realized he was pointing at the cord attaching the phone to the wall. She had one of those rotary phones mounted to the wall, with the cord plugged into the jack, and a cord to the handset. Ethan has grown up with cordless phones and cell phones -he was in awe and wanted to know how she did that. Now, don't that make you feel OLD?!

I just remembered...we did have one of those in Japan. Most cordless phones wouldn't work on base because of signal issues. But he was 4 years old when we moved here and apparently he doesn't remember it.

After a hard day of window shopping...cupcakes & Sprite!

This was our home for 5 days - Knights Inn:

I was very happy with the room and service. Especially with the cable tv :) It's been a looooong time since we had cable tv at our fingertips - and it showed!

Katie & the boys slept on the floor the last two nights, saying it was "more fun". I was made to sleep on the floor as a kid...I didn't think it was fun at all!

A little friendly wrestling going on :)

I think he was getting even with his big sister by making her smell his diaper.

Thank God for vacations. And cable tv. And tent meetings. And family. And vans with vcrs. And tylenol. Amen.