Answered Prayer

So, remember my post last week about my oldest son and his problems in school? It was an eye opening experience to me: children learn social behavior. Brilliant, right?0

I know, I know. I know this. I know it's important to teach my children perfect manners, correct indoor voice volume, not to interrupt adults...I know all that. But this week was a lesson in teaching the art of making friends, a vital piece of the social behavior pie chart. Something I just assumed would come naturally. But surprisingly, it's a learned behavior too and I didn't pay attention to what was being taught until he was already hurting.


But, right before I posted the previous post about this subject, here, I prayed. I cried and prayed to God for guidance on how to help my baby. To lead me to the root of the problem. And He did!




Right after that posted, I received a return phone call from his teacher, Mrs. R. At the beginning of the school year we dealt with the a similar problem with Ethan; she did not impress me as being very empathetic at the time, so I had low expectations. Thankfully, she blew them out of the water this time. Maybe I caught her on a bad day last fall, I don't know, but this time she was full of support and enthusiasm to fixing the problem.


She told me that she did not see an issue of the kids not liking Ethan, or not wanting to play with him. She said he stayed by himself most of the time, and when he did try to interact with his classmates, it came across awkward and confusing.

His sense of humor is on the odd side. He's the quiet, gamer boy in the corner...rather be playing Plants vs Zombies than talking about...well, anything. So, for example, he'd walk up to a table of classmates and yell some random phrase, like "fuzzy bunny!" then walk off. When they looked at each other in confusion instead of laughing, he took this as a sign they hated him, and shut down. 


She suggested several great ideas. I am letting him go on a field trip that I had not planned to let him attend, since he'd be gone most of the day and his dad & I couldn't go. But she assured me she would pair him up with boys she thought he could get along with (they'll be in groups of 4 or 5, which is less pressure on him to be social, too). She suggested letting him speak with the guidance counselor, as well. 

I wasn't 100% sure what that would accomplish, but I now have to say it was a wonderful idea. I'm familiar with the man, he's an older grandfatherly type and very nice. He called Ethan in to chat and when I asked Ethan about it later he said it was nice, he just thought he was in trouble so he didn't open up. I explained that he could talk to the man about anything he wanted and that maybe it would help talking to someone other than his mom & dad about these issues. He was so excited that it just broke my heart. He's happy to have help, to not deal with this alone. And I so happy for him. 

That night we had a long talk about how to make friends. How to engage someone in conversation. How to find someone the other person is interested in so you can find something in common to talk about. Smile. Make eye contact. Don't blurt out goofy stuff that only you understand and then take it personally when they don't get the joke.

Every day now when we are driving to school, Katie or I one remind him: Your goal today is to start a conversation with a classmate. And after school: Did you talk to anyone today? Who? Did anyone start a conversation with you?

Seems so simple, doesn't it? But to him, it was Greek. Like Plants vs Zombies is to me.

He has been much happier this week. No explosions in anger when he can't play video games. Only a couple of times of him feeling isolated and sad, and then we went over his day, finding times someone spoke to him, played with him, and he realized...it's getting better. He's making progress, and they're responding in kind. He's not a freak.

Something his momma knew all along. 

Thank you, Jacklyn, for your kind words. You always make me feel like the World's Best Mom when I'm feeling quite the opposite. And you have practical, wonderful advice and encouragement. Thank you most of all for your prayers. Same to you, Beth. Thanks for listening. And listening. And listening some more ☺