Ben's latest little antic is to ask for something and if you tell him no, he will say (to me), "Daddy wets me! That's "lets", of course :) After our trip to Nashville to spend a couple of days with Mammaw Jody, it was, "Mammaw wets me!" Which, of course, was totally true, regardless of what he asked for!
I was reading my Bible this morning when Ben jumped up on the bed and started playing with the pages. I have tried to teach them to respect the Bible more than any other book in the house: I always talk in my most reverant tone when I say "Bible."
So when he started playing with the pages, I stopped him with, "This is my Holy (whisper) Bible."
"Oh, dat's you Bi-Buw?"
"Yes, this is God's (Gawwwd's) book. This is how I learn about Jesus."
"Oh. He dit mad if I huwt His Bi-Buw?"
"He is sad when we hurt His book."
"Oh. I want one! I want a Bi-Buw. I want TWO Bi-Buw's!"
"Why do you want TWO Bibles?"
And I swear, this kid could act in Hollywood already. He dropped his chin, stuck out his lip and made the saddest, sweetest, cutest little puppy dog face EVER and said,
"He wets me! DeDus wets me have two!"
I died laughing. Now Jesus is spoiling my baby rotten! So, I told him ask "Dedus" for his very own Bible LOL! It went something like this:
"Dear Dod, Pwease div me two BiBuws. Amen!" Sometimes he just says, "The end!" which always cracks me up. I am trying to make sure they don't treat God like a Santa Claus, asking for everything their eyes see. But, good Lord! I'm not sure I've got that one conquered just yet, either!
Funny thing is, I wonder what God thought of that whole scene. Did it make Him smile? He loves us so much more than we are capable of loving even our own children, I think. So I have to believe that whole conversation made Him laugh. And, if I were God (don't faint, Beth!), I would want to grant that tiny but sincere request and send my goofy child a Bible of his own. Wouldn't you? So, I'm curious to see what God does with that one. He may do like I do sometimes and just smile and go on, knowing my child won't really die if they don't get something. Or He may just decide to give him something just because. Just because He loves us. Because He likes to make His children happy too. It's the small things.
Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day and try to rest in the fact that He loves you with an unfailing love. It's impossible for Him to not have your best interests at heart!
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wednesday
Today is Micah & Ben's first dentist appointment - yay! Seriousy, I cancelled once because, really, do 3 and 4 year olds NEED a dental cleaning yet? But they insisted YES, they do (of course), so we are going.
I heart this dentist office mucho gusto for several reasons:
One, they have an awesome waiting room. The walls are painted with an intricate African safari mural, with a couple of large tvs with movies always playing, even in back. Meaning, while the dentist is drilling a hole through your jaw, you get to watch Madagascar 2 :) (Did I mention I actually hate going to the dentist?!?) Plus, four gaming consoles set up in the waiting room for the video game addicted, such as Ethan.
Second, they have really cool magazines for parents in the waiting room. Unlike the pediatric doctor's waiting room. Ugh. Insurance magazines, health magazines...I want to escape reality while I am waiting to pay you $500 to see if my son has a huge ball of wax in his ear, not get slapped in the face with the reality of my moneyless, unhealthy lifestyle. So, thanks a lot, dentist office, for providing me with mindless crap to read! It's almost enough to make me forget the $300 I'm paying you to brush my 3 year old's teeth :)
On a sadder note (does it get worse than $300 on teeth that will fall out in the next 5 years???), my real estate agent's mom died Sunday, so we had to cancel our visits to the 3 houses we like the most. Also, on an even sadder note...my dream home has been sold and is currently being inhabited as I type.
Chad warned me this weekend that he saw someone mowing the grass. I insisted they were just getting it cleaned up & ready for us. He reminded me that there was also one of those storage pods in the front yard. It was a little much to think maybe they had moved all of our furniture from storage to a pod and then moved it to our house before we had actually bid on it, so I caved to reality and accepted it was probably over.
However, my little mini me, Katie, was not buying it. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was sold, so I did the next best thing and drove her by it yesterday after chorus. I have to give her credit...she catches on quick. The car in the driveway, pod next to it, and already a new shed in the back yard gave it all away and she realized immediately that "those mean people that stole our house" were there to stay.
She turned her face to the window and silently bawled her eyes out. So did I. We held hands as I drove away and cried together over the loss of the house that was just so perfect for us. A few minutes later, after we were cried out, Katie croaked, "Well, I hope those people at least needed it more than we did, cause I have to say, this is HEARTBREAKING!" Then, she added vehemently, "And they better have a dog, too!"
I have a feeling that, just as I had already mentally decorated the inside of the house I'd never even toured yet, hosted my first birthday party/BBQ, and played football with Chad in the front yard, Katie had been planning her upcoming adventures with Bandit. Probably dreaming of the roaming they would do on our 2.4 acres, chasing cows, howling at the moon, and doing God knows what else together.
So yesterday we both heard the sound of pipe dreams bursting. I said I'd accept whatever God's answer was, even if it was a big, fat NO, and I do. Katie asked me last night, does this mean that wasn't our house? And I had to say, even though I don't like it or understand why, that's exactly what that means. God has something else for us. I won't even lie and say I think the something else is better. It's just something else. Hopefully better. But when you pray for God's will, you better be ready to accept it.
Anyway, I'm off to the dentist, thanking God it's not my appointment. My kids have no idea how much I hate going to the dentist. I just act like they are SO lucky to be going, while inside I am ecstatic it's not me :)
Happy Middle of the Week Day!
I heart this dentist office mucho gusto for several reasons:
One, they have an awesome waiting room. The walls are painted with an intricate African safari mural, with a couple of large tvs with movies always playing, even in back. Meaning, while the dentist is drilling a hole through your jaw, you get to watch Madagascar 2 :) (Did I mention I actually hate going to the dentist?!?) Plus, four gaming consoles set up in the waiting room for the video game addicted, such as Ethan.
Second, they have really cool magazines for parents in the waiting room. Unlike the pediatric doctor's waiting room. Ugh. Insurance magazines, health magazines...I want to escape reality while I am waiting to pay you $500 to see if my son has a huge ball of wax in his ear, not get slapped in the face with the reality of my moneyless, unhealthy lifestyle. So, thanks a lot, dentist office, for providing me with mindless crap to read! It's almost enough to make me forget the $300 I'm paying you to brush my 3 year old's teeth :)
On a sadder note (does it get worse than $300 on teeth that will fall out in the next 5 years???), my real estate agent's mom died Sunday, so we had to cancel our visits to the 3 houses we like the most. Also, on an even sadder note...my dream home has been sold and is currently being inhabited as I type.
Chad warned me this weekend that he saw someone mowing the grass. I insisted they were just getting it cleaned up & ready for us. He reminded me that there was also one of those storage pods in the front yard. It was a little much to think maybe they had moved all of our furniture from storage to a pod and then moved it to our house before we had actually bid on it, so I caved to reality and accepted it was probably over.
However, my little mini me, Katie, was not buying it. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to tell her it was sold, so I did the next best thing and drove her by it yesterday after chorus. I have to give her credit...she catches on quick. The car in the driveway, pod next to it, and already a new shed in the back yard gave it all away and she realized immediately that "those mean people that stole our house" were there to stay.
She turned her face to the window and silently bawled her eyes out. So did I. We held hands as I drove away and cried together over the loss of the house that was just so perfect for us. A few minutes later, after we were cried out, Katie croaked, "Well, I hope those people at least needed it more than we did, cause I have to say, this is HEARTBREAKING!" Then, she added vehemently, "And they better have a dog, too!"
I have a feeling that, just as I had already mentally decorated the inside of the house I'd never even toured yet, hosted my first birthday party/BBQ, and played football with Chad in the front yard, Katie had been planning her upcoming adventures with Bandit. Probably dreaming of the roaming they would do on our 2.4 acres, chasing cows, howling at the moon, and doing God knows what else together.
So yesterday we both heard the sound of pipe dreams bursting. I said I'd accept whatever God's answer was, even if it was a big, fat NO, and I do. Katie asked me last night, does this mean that wasn't our house? And I had to say, even though I don't like it or understand why, that's exactly what that means. God has something else for us. I won't even lie and say I think the something else is better. It's just something else. Hopefully better. But when you pray for God's will, you better be ready to accept it.
Anyway, I'm off to the dentist, thanking God it's not my appointment. My kids have no idea how much I hate going to the dentist. I just act like they are SO lucky to be going, while inside I am ecstatic it's not me :)
Happy Middle of the Week Day!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Updates
I did not get the phone book delivery gig. Apparently the branch planet did not communicate with the home planet and there were several misplaced aliens walking around.
I have no idea where the alien lingo came from LOL. I'm very weary right now. Mind, body, but not soul.
Anyway, the spots were all filled but no one bothered to tell that to the main office. Make more sense now?
In other news, Micah cried again this morning at school when I told him I couldn't stay with him and he couldn't go home. The entire time I kept thinking, but why can't he? If he isn't receiving speech therapy....
But as Beth pointed out, they will eventually have a therapist there but if he misses more than 3 or 5 days of school without being sick, they remove him from Preschool and put someone else in from their waiting list. So, I can't just let him stay home because he wants to snuggle with mommy. Ugh...now my heart hurts again.
Okay, so I'm taking Chad to look at the top three house choices tomorrow, along with Carolyn, the RE agent. For those keeping tract, that is the house with blue walls inside, the one for $49,000, and the one with the to-die-for kitchen. Carolyn emailed me night we saw that one and said the owners are willing to come down, bring an offer. Um, but are they willing to drop $10,000 at least?
What about Lee? Well, the one-I-would-give-it-all-up-for was supposed to close today. However, that doesn't mean it's out of the running for me just yet. I know most would think I'm crazy, but seriously....God loves to do those last minute miracles. For example:
- 3 Hebrew boys,,.He doesn't save them BEFORE the fire, but IN the fire.
- Daniel and some pesky lions...He could have kept Daniel from the lions' den, but instead, He showed off a little bit and just tamed the carnivores. Made them vegans for a day ;)
- Israelites at the Red Sea...He let them get to the point of no return first, then He parted a sea.
I think God waits until there literally is no other way out, no way any man can make something happen, then He moves. Why? Because He doesn't like for some man to get the glory, any more than you would want your kids to brag on the neighbors for providing for them. (Thanks, Dad!) Plus, what a faith builder! When you finally get it into your head that there is NOTHING your God can't do...nothing can defeat you again!
Anyway, my point is, it's not over until God says it's over and He hasn't put that in my heart yet. I have a couple of different reasons that I feel that may still be the house for us. And, if I'm wrong, so be it. But, like some Hebrew boys I remember reading about, I may not know what God will do, but I certainly know what He can do.
I have no idea where the alien lingo came from LOL. I'm very weary right now. Mind, body, but not soul.
Anyway, the spots were all filled but no one bothered to tell that to the main office. Make more sense now?
In other news, Micah cried again this morning at school when I told him I couldn't stay with him and he couldn't go home. The entire time I kept thinking, but why can't he? If he isn't receiving speech therapy....
But as Beth pointed out, they will eventually have a therapist there but if he misses more than 3 or 5 days of school without being sick, they remove him from Preschool and put someone else in from their waiting list. So, I can't just let him stay home because he wants to snuggle with mommy. Ugh...now my heart hurts again.
Okay, so I'm taking Chad to look at the top three house choices tomorrow, along with Carolyn, the RE agent. For those keeping tract, that is the house with blue walls inside, the one for $49,000, and the one with the to-die-for kitchen. Carolyn emailed me night we saw that one and said the owners are willing to come down, bring an offer. Um, but are they willing to drop $10,000 at least?
What about Lee? Well, the one-I-would-give-it-all-up-for was supposed to close today. However, that doesn't mean it's out of the running for me just yet. I know most would think I'm crazy, but seriously....God loves to do those last minute miracles. For example:
- 3 Hebrew boys,,.He doesn't save them BEFORE the fire, but IN the fire.
- Daniel and some pesky lions...He could have kept Daniel from the lions' den, but instead, He showed off a little bit and just tamed the carnivores. Made them vegans for a day ;)
- Israelites at the Red Sea...He let them get to the point of no return first, then He parted a sea.
I think God waits until there literally is no other way out, no way any man can make something happen, then He moves. Why? Because He doesn't like for some man to get the glory, any more than you would want your kids to brag on the neighbors for providing for them. (Thanks, Dad!) Plus, what a faith builder! When you finally get it into your head that there is NOTHING your God can't do...nothing can defeat you again!
Anyway, my point is, it's not over until God says it's over and He hasn't put that in my heart yet. I have a couple of different reasons that I feel that may still be the house for us. And, if I'm wrong, so be it. But, like some Hebrew boys I remember reading about, I may not know what God will do, but I certainly know what He can do.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Micah Goes to School
a.k.a. Mommy Scares the Preschoolers
Okay, so I probably wasn't that bad...I hope. Micah, my little big boy, officially started Preschool yesterday and I may or may not have had a mini meltdown that may or may not have been in front of his class and may or may not have involved me driving down the wrong side of the road for an undetermined period of time, sobbing my eyes out. Maybe.
Okay, the truth is, I started bawling all over his poor, wonderful teacher, Miss Carissa, and she, being such a great teacher, reassured me that he would be loved on, cared for, and that she would be the sobbing mess by the time school ended next May. (Let's hope so!)
I know he's my third child to start school and I should be a semi-pro at this, but this was a little harder on me than the other two for a couple of good reasons.
One, Katie & Ethan were 5 years old when they started Kindergarten. Micah is 4 (and a half!) and going into Preschool. It just seems wrong on so many levels. But, he needs speech therapy and this seems to be the cheapest (free) way to get him what he needs, before Kindgergarten and the "real" learning begins .I learned the hard way with Katie & Ethan...waiting until Kindgergarten handicaps them in many ways.
Which leads me to my next reason: I started bawling when it came time to leave my little baby in a room full of kids and adults that probably wouldn't understand half of what he said. It would be like being deaf without sign language.
But, that's when she reassured me that he would be loved, they would call if they needed me, I could call them if I was worried, and he would be fine.
Guess what! She was right :) And, no, I did not call. But I was tempted. Just don't want to be that mom. Yet.
He was totally okay, they said they had no trouble communicating with him, and he was awake and ready to go to school again this morning, so apparently all is well.
Worry, much? Yep. Yes, I do. It's hard reliquishing control and custody, even temporarily, of my children. It almost seems criminal that we spend the first 5 years warning them about strangers, then BAM! We send them on a bus with total strangers, to a school with total strangers, all in authority over them.
That's where my faith & prayer come in. I have learned that I can drive myself crazy with all the "what if" thoughts...or I can leave it God's hands. So, I covered him in prayer, then reminded God - "I gave each one of them to You the day they were born. Now it's Your turn. Please take care of OUR children." Then, I have to rest in the knowledge that He is in charge. Always has been, really, but it's just another level of trust on my part.
Anyway...the end of the story is, Micah has excellent, LOVING teachers, he loves school, and Ben is a much calmer, sweeter child when Micah is not around. Ooops! I mean, Ben really misses Micah and they get along much better now :)
And, per usual, pictures of the momentus event:
Not quite awake...
Compare the School Veterans' faces to that of the Newbie:
After a little threatening...
Miss Gloria (Co Teacher), Miss Carissa (Teacher), & Micah
2nd Day of School
August 19, 2009
Pictures don't do them justice! They are kind, sweet, and good to my baby...what more can a mom ask for?!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Big One
Ben came in our room a few minutes ago whining about E-ah (Ethan) hurting him or taking his toy or something along those lines. So Chad tells Ben," Go get me a switch and I'll spank Ethan with it, okay?"
Ben comes back about 3 minutes later with THIS:
Have you ever seen such a little boy with such a big stick? Isn't that the funniest thing you've seen today? I mean, SERIOUSLY!
And know what he says? "Here, daddy, I dot a bid one for you. Spaint E-ah!"
Needless to say, Chad fell off the bed laughing. I, of course, grabbed my camera ;)
*Disclaimer: I do not spank my kid with switches. As a child, I hated being spanked with a switch - it hurt more than I think a spanking needs to, to get a point across. I promised myself I would never do that to my own child and I haven't.
Apparently, all those threats Louise makes every time she sees Ben finally got through his little brain and he thought was a GREAT idea...for Ethan!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
All About the Benjamin
My baby will be THREE next Saturday - that hurts! He is so funny and goofy, sweet and sassy...he fills the role of "youngest sibling" very well!
Right now he is covered in bruises and band aids. Today, alone, I have heard, "I huwt!" at least 5 times - 3 of which were blamed on Micah. If he were to fall and break something anytime soon, I would prolly try to set the bone myself first, just to avoid a trip to the hospital and all the questions that are sure to follow. 
I don't kid about boo boos!
Notice the bottom lip - that is courtesy of a four wheeler mishap with Uncle Aaron - he bumped his mouth on it as they hit a dip. 
Helmet is now mandatory.
He was in my lap as I tried to use the camera upside down & backwards:
Obviously, he can rock a boo boo ;)
See the cool spidey bandaid? Yeah, Micah wacked him with a "wite sabah". That's Micah code for light saber. Thank you George Lucas! 
Is that still not the sweetest face?!?Beth: this is why I never have any gum or candy in church:
And I am proud to report that he is officially potty trained. And I use the word "potty" loosely:
Sorry, Grandma. And future adult Ben. It had to be done!*sigh* I treasure each day his foot is smaller than mine!
P.S. Ben loves my "boo" toes and I love to hear him call blue "boo" :) So that is my little ramble about my baby Ben. I'm entitled every now & then - he was my worst labor & delivery out of the four of them!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Ben & Micah Get Along
aka, I have the best mother in law in the world! She is always sending the kids stuff in the mail, usually individually packaged (that's LOVE), and usually full of candy, books, and all kinds of odds and ends. Once, she sent them all really weird candy from Mexico that they wouldn't hardly touch - that says a lot about how weird it was LOL. Spiders, snakes...and they looked a little too real! And lets just say, the Mexicans are a little behind on the idea of *sweet* candy!
Anyway, she recently sent them a packed stuffed with candy and some little sticker and activity books for the boys. I sat down with them on the floor, got them started with some crayons and their Cars activity books, and there was peace on the homefront for 10 whole minutes! I took pictures to prove it's actually possible for Ben & Micah to co-exist and, dare I say it, GET ALONG!
Anyway, she recently sent them a packed stuffed with candy and some little sticker and activity books for the boys. I sat down with them on the floor, got them started with some crayons and their Cars activity books, and there was peace on the homefront for 10 whole minutes! I took pictures to prove it's actually possible for Ben & Micah to co-exist and, dare I say it, GET ALONG!
Ignore the clutter - I have junk for a family of 6 crammed in that room! (and a Double bed comforter on a King mattress ;)
He was so intense about getting that sticker right where he wanted it!
I just love how kids are always sitting in some funky position that would kill an adult:
just like this one!
After I got to looking through my pictures, I found a couple other times Ben & Micah got along.
Making funny faces at mom:
Playing in the dirt together *shudder*
Boys will be boys! But aren't they the most gorgeous boys you have EVER seen? Yes, that includes Conner, Louise. And your twins, Linn!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
So there!
Yesterday we took the kids to "Aunt Beff's" to swim, as it was Chad's last day off and I thought he should get to enjoy seeing his kids almost drown 23,345 times in two hours, like I do. Or, as some call it, swim. But when you are the mom, it all looks like potential drowning. Yes, they are wearing floaties, or death traps, as the kids refer to them. But, floaties (not to be confused with poo floaties) are little life savers and help me to breath semi normally as they (skip this next part, Beth) dive off the ladder time and time again. Most of the time.
But DH (definitely dumb butt husband yesterday) did not have fun. He wanted to go play at the Blue Hole, aka Might As Well Kill Them Ourselves Hole. Lots of rocks, hidden pockets of cold death. Okay, I know it sounds like I have a thing against swimming, or water in general, but I do not. I think hot baths are God's way of saying, Thanks for not killing your kids today! Candles, books, and peanut m&ms are my own pat on the back.
Anyway...
Hubby & I threw the football back and forth for a while then I settled down with a book. Micah chose that moment to be cold and come sit beside mommy in the sun. So, instead of reading, I had the following conversation with my 4 year old. Punk.
"Mommy, dat whore weg?"
For some reason, he says '"your" as "hore". Maybe it's my guilty conscience in overdrive, but I always hear it as "whore." One of these days I'm afraid I'm gonna go off and scream at him, WHO YOU CALLIN' A WHORE?! Your MOMMA'S a whore! This would not be good, and I digress...
"Yes, that is my leg."
"Whore weg is bigger dare?" He is pointing at my thigh. My upper, fat thigh. I start sweating.
"Uh, yes...my leg is bigger there. WHY? Do you think it's TOO big? Is that what your daddy said? Did he tell you to say that? Well, it's all his fault anyway! If he hadn't knocked me up FOUR times...." Oops.
Thankfully, he had already wandered off to look at the pretty rock in the kiddie pool while I was busy twisting and turning to get a look at my humongus "wegs."
But that's okay, I got even today. I took a picture of him blowing raspberries on his baby brother's belly. Blackmail, baby. Blackmail. One day I'll pull that picture out and blow it up to poster size. Tack it to the wall in the kitchen. On his 16th birthday. And act like I don't recognize the other kid.
More opportunities for blackmail:
Future Policewoman of the Year:
And my best shot at blackmail:
Seriously...your kids drink that water, Tim!
But DH (definitely dumb butt husband yesterday) did not have fun. He wanted to go play at the Blue Hole, aka Might As Well Kill Them Ourselves Hole. Lots of rocks, hidden pockets of cold death. Okay, I know it sounds like I have a thing against swimming, or water in general, but I do not. I think hot baths are God's way of saying, Thanks for not killing your kids today! Candles, books, and peanut m&ms are my own pat on the back.
Anyway...
Hubby & I threw the football back and forth for a while then I settled down with a book. Micah chose that moment to be cold and come sit beside mommy in the sun. So, instead of reading, I had the following conversation with my 4 year old. Punk.
"Mommy, dat whore weg?"
For some reason, he says '"your" as "hore". Maybe it's my guilty conscience in overdrive, but I always hear it as "whore." One of these days I'm afraid I'm gonna go off and scream at him, WHO YOU CALLIN' A WHORE?! Your MOMMA'S a whore! This would not be good, and I digress...
"Yes, that is my leg."
"Whore weg is bigger dare?" He is pointing at my thigh. My upper, fat thigh. I start sweating.
"Uh, yes...my leg is bigger there. WHY? Do you think it's TOO big? Is that what your daddy said? Did he tell you to say that? Well, it's all his fault anyway! If he hadn't knocked me up FOUR times...." Oops.
Thankfully, he had already wandered off to look at the pretty rock in the kiddie pool while I was busy twisting and turning to get a look at my humongus "wegs."
But that's okay, I got even today. I took a picture of him blowing raspberries on his baby brother's belly. Blackmail, baby. Blackmail. One day I'll pull that picture out and blow it up to poster size. Tack it to the wall in the kitchen. On his 16th birthday. And act like I don't recognize the other kid.
More opportunities for blackmail:
Note to Tim: it is not a REAL gun
PS to Tim: if it were, you'd be dead
We "Smiths" can't just swim...we have to make it a game...
Future Policewoman of the Year:
This is why she is Favorite Aunt:
And my best shot at blackmail:
Seriously...your kids drink that water, Tim!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Train 'em up!
So, Ben will be three years old on August first, which means there is a milestone we have to cross off our list soon: Potty Training.
In my experience, when you potty train a girl, you start talking the talk, with demonstrations, around age 18 months. Then around 2 years of age, you let them sit on the potty just for fun. Then, oh, think you can put something in the Big Girl Potty? Good girl! And, Bingo! Mommy's Little Big Girl is potty trained before the two and a half years mark. You sail on past her 3rd birthday with Mommy of the Year Award in hand, ready for early Teen Pregnancy Intervention.
But boys are a little different. To put it bluntly, boys are L.a.z.y. Yes, I said it: Lazy! I have three of them, I get to make that generalization. Yes, I am aware that your little boy is the perfect male specimen and potty trained at 18 months....but that is NOT the norm, and I have 2 boys and 3 brothers that prove it :) (Sorry, bros...get under that bus)
See, with boys, you start the demonstration phase at 18 months, then start setting up the scene and introducing Potty Training Vocabulary at age two. At two and a half years you start asking for volunteers. Then, one day you make a fatal error: BRIBERY. In a moment of desperation, you promise, "If you pee pee on the potty, I will give you a piece of CANDY!"
Big Mistake.
From then on, anytime your precious little boy wants a piece of candy, he yells,
"Mommy, I pee pee on da pot tyyyy!" You get your hopes up, run look in the potty, hands already in clapping position....but no go. False alarm. And you continue to get false alarms and what I like to call "Just Got Lucky" bowel movements (basically, he would have peed right then, no matter where he happened to be...he just happened to get lucky and be standing naked over the toilet at *that* exact moment).
So then you spend about six months negotiating candy amounts, running to the potty for false alarms and JGL's, when FINALLY, around 3 years old, the left side (or right, can't remember which side does what right now) of their brain kicks in gear and BAM! Suddenly, over the course of a few days to a week, your little baby boy morphs into A Big Boy...right in front of your eyes. And that year, as the elves, gnomes, storks...WHOEVER...hands you the Mommy of the Year Award, you wipe the sweat from your brow, grab your hard earned trophy, stagger toward your bed and, as you drift off into a much needed month of sleep, murmer to your perplexed husband, "You're potty training the next one!"
Today's Fun Potty Conversation:
Micah was potty trained last year, around his 3rd birthday. Now, I'm setting Ben up for his initiation to the Big Boy Club. Today's conversation gives me hope:
"Micah, I KNOW you have to go to the potty...you're walking like a penguin, and I know I don't own a penguin. So go get on that potty RIGHT NOW. Or *else*!" (Substitute any form of legal punishment you can think of in place of *else*)
"But Mommy, I awweddy poo poo on da potty tommawoh (tomorrow), remembrr?"
"You mean yesterday, but that doesn't change the fact that you are obviously prairie doggin' it, so go to the bathroom NOW!
Two minutes later:
"Mommy! I poo poo a big one, WOOK! "
And then my favorite part of the job, I LOOK. Fortunately, after now looking at 4 different kids' poo, I focus on color and substance only, while conveniently breathing through my mouth only...a skill only moms seem to possess, or so my husband swears as he gags after one of these cool potty sessions.
Everything looks good. Still no sign of that penny he may or may not have eaten. Obviously the apples did the trick as this is his 4th poo in 3 days, so check that one off the list. Hmmm, green? Oh yeah...drank all that orange kool aid earlier. Woo! No trip to the ER to determine if the copper penny is eating his small intestine and changing his poo to green....
Then, I hear proof that my scene & vocab set up is working on the next candidate in training, Ben:
"Wook, Mitah! You poo poo a big one! Dood boy, Mitah! Dood job, Mitah! Dood job!"
Then, my manners check:
"What do we tell Ben, Micah?"
"Tant tou, Bah."
"Dood job, Mitah! Dood job!"
"Tant tou, Bah."
"Dood job, Mitah!"
"Okay, OKAY, boys, I get it...good job, Micah. Let's move on!"
And so I gear up for the next phase of Operation Potty Train Ben...aka, Hell Week: Training Pants. Stay tuned.
In my experience, when you potty train a girl, you start talking the talk, with demonstrations, around age 18 months. Then around 2 years of age, you let them sit on the potty just for fun. Then, oh, think you can put something in the Big Girl Potty? Good girl! And, Bingo! Mommy's Little Big Girl is potty trained before the two and a half years mark. You sail on past her 3rd birthday with Mommy of the Year Award in hand, ready for early Teen Pregnancy Intervention.
But boys are a little different. To put it bluntly, boys are L.a.z.y. Yes, I said it: Lazy! I have three of them, I get to make that generalization. Yes, I am aware that your little boy is the perfect male specimen and potty trained at 18 months....but that is NOT the norm, and I have 2 boys and 3 brothers that prove it :) (Sorry, bros...get under that bus)
See, with boys, you start the demonstration phase at 18 months, then start setting up the scene and introducing Potty Training Vocabulary at age two. At two and a half years you start asking for volunteers. Then, one day you make a fatal error: BRIBERY. In a moment of desperation, you promise, "If you pee pee on the potty, I will give you a piece of CANDY!"
Big Mistake.
From then on, anytime your precious little boy wants a piece of candy, he yells,
"Mommy, I pee pee on da pot tyyyy!" You get your hopes up, run look in the potty, hands already in clapping position....but no go. False alarm. And you continue to get false alarms and what I like to call "Just Got Lucky" bowel movements (basically, he would have peed right then, no matter where he happened to be...he just happened to get lucky and be standing naked over the toilet at *that* exact moment).
So then you spend about six months negotiating candy amounts, running to the potty for false alarms and JGL's, when FINALLY, around 3 years old, the left side (or right, can't remember which side does what right now) of their brain kicks in gear and BAM! Suddenly, over the course of a few days to a week, your little baby boy morphs into A Big Boy...right in front of your eyes. And that year, as the elves, gnomes, storks...WHOEVER...hands you the Mommy of the Year Award, you wipe the sweat from your brow, grab your hard earned trophy, stagger toward your bed and, as you drift off into a much needed month of sleep, murmer to your perplexed husband, "You're potty training the next one!"
Today's Fun Potty Conversation:
Micah was potty trained last year, around his 3rd birthday. Now, I'm setting Ben up for his initiation to the Big Boy Club. Today's conversation gives me hope:
"Micah, I KNOW you have to go to the potty...you're walking like a penguin, and I know I don't own a penguin. So go get on that potty RIGHT NOW. Or *else*!" (Substitute any form of legal punishment you can think of in place of *else*)
"But Mommy, I awweddy poo poo on da potty tommawoh (tomorrow), remembrr?"
"You mean yesterday, but that doesn't change the fact that you are obviously prairie doggin' it, so go to the bathroom NOW!
Two minutes later:
"Mommy! I poo poo a big one, WOOK! "
And then my favorite part of the job, I LOOK. Fortunately, after now looking at 4 different kids' poo, I focus on color and substance only, while conveniently breathing through my mouth only...a skill only moms seem to possess, or so my husband swears as he gags after one of these cool potty sessions.
Everything looks good. Still no sign of that penny he may or may not have eaten. Obviously the apples did the trick as this is his 4th poo in 3 days, so check that one off the list. Hmmm, green? Oh yeah...drank all that orange kool aid earlier. Woo! No trip to the ER to determine if the copper penny is eating his small intestine and changing his poo to green....
Then, I hear proof that my scene & vocab set up is working on the next candidate in training, Ben:
"Wook, Mitah! You poo poo a big one! Dood boy, Mitah! Dood job, Mitah! Dood job!"
Then, my manners check:
"What do we tell Ben, Micah?"
"Tant tou, Bah."
"Dood job, Mitah! Dood job!"
"Tant tou, Bah."
"Dood job, Mitah!"
"Okay, OKAY, boys, I get it...good job, Micah. Let's move on!"
And so I gear up for the next phase of Operation Potty Train Ben...aka, Hell Week: Training Pants. Stay tuned.
Picture of the Day:
My Mother's Day Bouquet...otherwise known as,
Mommy of the Year Trophy
Mommy of the Year Trophy
Thursday, May 21, 2009
All Grown Up...
Micah found Chad's fishing hat and said, Mommy, look at me! I a MAN! Tate a pichure a me!
So I did.
I took a picture of them both, together.
They said, Wet me see! Wet me see! Then, Mitah, you a man wike Daddy! Mommy, Mitah a man!
Then Ben said, My tuhn, Mitah. So Micah gave him the hat and Ben said, Wook, Mommy, I a man wike Mitah e Daddy! (they say "ee" instand of "and") Tate my pichure adin.
And, of course, I did.
Doesn't he have a face for hats?
Then they got all goofy, started wrestling, making faces, and demanding more pictures, then to see the pictures. And I bottled it all up in my heart, to ponder in the years to come when they are yelling about how unfair I am, I never do what they want, and don't I love them? When they are too busy to call home, never think to send a picture of themselves, or forget my birthday... Then I'll pull out these pictures and smile to myself about how it used to be so easy to please them, to give them what they wanted, and get only hugs and kisses in return. 
That's what we moms do.
"But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
So I did.
I took a picture of them both, together.
They said, Wet me see! Wet me see! Then, Mitah, you a man wike Daddy! Mommy, Mitah a man!
Then Ben said, My tuhn, Mitah. So Micah gave him the hat and Ben said, Wook, Mommy, I a man wike Mitah e Daddy! (they say "ee" instand of "and") Tate my pichure adin.
And, of course, I did.
Then they got all goofy, started wrestling, making faces, and demanding more pictures, then to see the pictures. And I bottled it all up in my heart, to ponder in the years to come when they are yelling about how unfair I am, I never do what they want, and don't I love them? When they are too busy to call home, never think to send a picture of themselves, or forget my birthday... Then I'll pull out these pictures and smile to myself about how it used to be so easy to please them, to give them what they wanted, and get only hugs and kisses in return.
That's what we moms do.
"But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19
Friday, May 8, 2009
Is it *my* turn yet?
Husbands kill me sometimes. Mine most recently ;)
See, he went fishing Wednesday morning, on his first of two days off. Some humongus bass was out there calling his name (though, come to find out, the fish was just joshin' him). So, he goes fishing, leaving me for about 6 hours.
Now, the plan was, when he got home, I would go hang out with a sister or 3 for some quality girl time (aka American Idol & Greys Anatomy time).
Except, as I go to walk out the door, the Love of My Life (or LOML as I sometimes think of him) pulls the guilt card:
"Are you sure you want to leave me?
Not permanently; just for, oh, six hours or so.
"But didn't you miss me while I was gone?"
Yes, and it was so much fun, I want *you* to try it.
"But, what will I do with out you?"
Oh, this is going to be fun....you'll chase Ben & Micah out of the mud about 132145346 times, change their clothes at least twice due to the times they made it to the mud while you were busy chewing/sleeping/blinking. And don't forget the 34 drinks you'll pour, the 8 apples you'll peel, and the 234 fights you'll referee.
But good news! You'll miss me so much after 4 hours of all that, you'll be ready to kiss my feet, give me that last bite of candy bar, and not think about leaving me to fish again for, oh, about 12 hours.
Enough said.
And I left. Of course, Ben followed me to the car, crying to "doe wiff you, mommy." When they do this to Chad, he barely misses a step. I sat in the driveway for 5 minutes, comforting Ben, then reassuring myself he wasn't still sobbing his heart out as I drove away.
I did have fun, though I tend to rush through everything, trying to get in as much "fun" as I can before the guilt gets totally overwhelming. Thank God for DVR & Beth! We fast forwarded through commercials, Paula's drunk ramblings, and Kara's over emphasized everything.
My favorite sound bite from the night:
As Kara rambles on and on about Adam being a ROCK GOD (*gag*), Jessica screams at the tv,
"Give Paula back her pills, crazy!"
I must say, I was shocked when Kris Allen (aka Goat Boy as I like to call him) was safe. He is my fave on the show, then Goecky or whatever his name is. Adam makes me want to take a shower...wash some of the dirt off. Seriously, if he's here, who's running Hell?!
I love to say that last one to Chad when he's in a really bad mood and watch his head explode :)
I must add, I came home that night to find the two most adorable little boys waiting up way past their bedtime, just to see me (Katie & Ethan had school the next morning). My grin was a mile wide, my heart so happy to see them after just 3 hours away. We laid on the bed talking for 20 minutes about God, monners (monsters), Jesus living in our hearts, and tunner (thunder).
I had the sweetest video of part of our conversation from that night that I planned on sharing, but I accidentally erased it from the memory card before saving it on my laptop. But I have one picture of that night. They were describing thunder to me and how it sounds, using their little hands to show how loud it was:
See, he went fishing Wednesday morning, on his first of two days off. Some humongus bass was out there calling his name (though, come to find out, the fish was just joshin' him). So, he goes fishing, leaving me for about 6 hours.
Now, the plan was, when he got home, I would go hang out with a sister or 3 for some quality girl time (aka American Idol & Greys Anatomy time).
Except, as I go to walk out the door, the Love of My Life (or LOML as I sometimes think of him) pulls the guilt card:
"Are you sure you want to leave me?
Not permanently; just for, oh, six hours or so.
"But didn't you miss me while I was gone?"
Yes, and it was so much fun, I want *you* to try it.
"But, what will I do with out you?"
Oh, this is going to be fun....you'll chase Ben & Micah out of the mud about 132145346 times, change their clothes at least twice due to the times they made it to the mud while you were busy chewing/sleeping/blinking. And don't forget the 34 drinks you'll pour, the 8 apples you'll peel, and the 234 fights you'll referee.
But good news! You'll miss me so much after 4 hours of all that, you'll be ready to kiss my feet, give me that last bite of candy bar, and not think about leaving me to fish again for, oh, about 12 hours.
Enough said.
And I left. Of course, Ben followed me to the car, crying to "doe wiff you, mommy." When they do this to Chad, he barely misses a step. I sat in the driveway for 5 minutes, comforting Ben, then reassuring myself he wasn't still sobbing his heart out as I drove away.
I did have fun, though I tend to rush through everything, trying to get in as much "fun" as I can before the guilt gets totally overwhelming. Thank God for DVR & Beth! We fast forwarded through commercials, Paula's drunk ramblings, and Kara's over emphasized everything.
My favorite sound bite from the night:
As Kara rambles on and on about Adam being a ROCK GOD (*gag*), Jessica screams at the tv,
"Give Paula back her pills, crazy!"
I must say, I was shocked when Kris Allen (aka Goat Boy as I like to call him) was safe. He is my fave on the show, then Goecky or whatever his name is. Adam makes me want to take a shower...wash some of the dirt off. Seriously, if he's here, who's running Hell?!
I love to say that last one to Chad when he's in a really bad mood and watch his head explode :)
I must add, I came home that night to find the two most adorable little boys waiting up way past their bedtime, just to see me (Katie & Ethan had school the next morning). My grin was a mile wide, my heart so happy to see them after just 3 hours away. We laid on the bed talking for 20 minutes about God, monners (monsters), Jesus living in our hearts, and tunner (thunder).
I had the sweetest video of part of our conversation from that night that I planned on sharing, but I accidentally erased it from the memory card before saving it on my laptop. But I have one picture of that night. They were describing thunder to me and how it sounds, using their little hands to show how loud it was:
Little Ben is so serious! He said, Tunner makes me huwt (hurt).
Throwing in some pictures of hot hubby pushing the boys on the swing Wednesday:
Check out Ben's sweet smile! I couldn't get both of them to focus at the same time, but each one had enormous grins on their faces.
Micah has the more infectious smile & laugh. Looks like he's about to jump LOL!
P.S. There is nothing sexier than a father playing with his children. Melts my heart everytime. Doesn't hurt he's the cutest thing since, well, anyone!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Uninspiring Monday
I've been feeling very uninspired the past few days. I mean, you can blog about bowel movements, mud puddles, and kids for so long...then it just gets depressing. The kids haven't done anything funny today. In fact, it was mostly a hair pulling kinda day. Ben & Micah fought with each other non stop, using tree limbs, Hot Wheels cars, even Cheezits, which is when I got really MAD. I draw the line at wasting food!
Then, a friend calls me up on the phone and I swear, not even 5 minutes later, I realize I don't hear the boys outside my window anymore, so as I talk, I go hunting boys. 10 minutes later I'm freaking out, tell friend Lisa I have to go and have a full scale search going on. Where were they? In the next door neighbor's yard, playing with their grandchildren's toys. I lost 6 months off the end of my life with that one.
I'm trying not to tell the boys that they are bad boys, but the truth is, it works. They immediately stop eating dirt, slinging mud, kicking the dog....and freak out, crying, I not a bad boy, mommy...I a dood boy! And every single time, I feel like a slimeball and hug them, cooing, You ARE a dood boy! You're mommy's dood boy! And, yes, I always say "dood" too; I'll miss their sweet baby language when they grow up & finally learn how to pronounce their words correctly. But I read once that you should say, You are behaving badly. But that would lead to a whole other conversation, right?
So, anyway...I used the Bad Mommy Language today. Then I remember, Mothers' Day is 6 days away - what was I thinking? Obviously I'm gonna be lucky to get a mug full of mud at this rate! So I loaded up the kids, plus Casey (hi, Case!), and took them to Katie & Ethan's school playground. Then, had to leave 15 minutes later because I remembered the bank closed in 20 minutes. As a bribe to forget about going back to the playground, I rented SpongeBob's The Big One...think that and the 15 minute trip to the park will upgrade me to real diamond earrings?
Hmm...doubt it!
As always, here are some pictures I took this week, in between the Noah-like downpours. Picture taking is my "Happy Place." That and a nice, hot bath with a good, long book.
Mom's Flower Garden aka my Happy Place:
This is how the bird bath looked 3 days ago...
and this is today:
Unedited...I just love the adobe look.
Mom has about 5 beautiful roses, but the bugs are chewing on them. Here is one with a rain drop right on the edge, which I thought was so cool. My camera wouldn't do it justice and the color is no where near as vivid as it should be.
Then, a friend calls me up on the phone and I swear, not even 5 minutes later, I realize I don't hear the boys outside my window anymore, so as I talk, I go hunting boys. 10 minutes later I'm freaking out, tell friend Lisa I have to go and have a full scale search going on. Where were they? In the next door neighbor's yard, playing with their grandchildren's toys. I lost 6 months off the end of my life with that one.
I'm trying not to tell the boys that they are bad boys, but the truth is, it works. They immediately stop eating dirt, slinging mud, kicking the dog....and freak out, crying, I not a bad boy, mommy...I a dood boy! And every single time, I feel like a slimeball and hug them, cooing, You ARE a dood boy! You're mommy's dood boy! And, yes, I always say "dood" too; I'll miss their sweet baby language when they grow up & finally learn how to pronounce their words correctly. But I read once that you should say, You are behaving badly. But that would lead to a whole other conversation, right?
So, anyway...I used the Bad Mommy Language today. Then I remember, Mothers' Day is 6 days away - what was I thinking? Obviously I'm gonna be lucky to get a mug full of mud at this rate! So I loaded up the kids, plus Casey (hi, Case!), and took them to Katie & Ethan's school playground. Then, had to leave 15 minutes later because I remembered the bank closed in 20 minutes. As a bribe to forget about going back to the playground, I rented SpongeBob's The Big One...think that and the 15 minute trip to the park will upgrade me to real diamond earrings?
Hmm...doubt it!
As always, here are some pictures I took this week, in between the Noah-like downpours. Picture taking is my "Happy Place." That and a nice, hot bath with a good, long book.
Mom's Flower Garden aka my Happy Place:
This is how the bird bath looked 3 days ago...
and this is today:
Unedited...I just love the adobe look.
Don't you just love this next picture's color pallette?!
FYI: I'm stealing that bird bath when I move.
Mom has about 5 beautiful roses, but the bugs are chewing on them. Here is one with a rain drop right on the edge, which I thought was so cool. My camera wouldn't do it justice and the color is no where near as vivid as it should be.
This little bugger was running from me. I couldn't get my camera to do a macro shot, either, which is SO frustrating. For some reason it blurs out the lady bug when I get anywhere close. He would freeze when I got near him, and as soon as I backed off, he took off in warp speed ;)
Our Guardian Angel
I'm having technical difficulties with my spaces & pictures and I QUIT.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Irony
God has a sense of humor. How do I know this? Because He gave me not one, not two, but three boys. When mom used to lock us outside and say, go play!, I was the one that sat on the porch, or under a tree, or even in the car, to read a book. I hate dirt and never went barefoot or made mud pies, never wanted to get wet or hold snakes. I am a G I R L! A girly girl. So what does God do?
It just so happens that Chad was off when they did this monster truck/mud ring act the first time. So guess who got to clean them up?! Yep, my momma didn't raise no dummies. Well, she actually did, I'm afraid, but I'm not one of them!
Until today. About an hour ago I realized they were being very quiet. Quiet strikes terror in the heart of a mom. Especially a mom of 3 boys. This is what I found:
Give me three boys.
And not the kind that likes to read or stay clean. No, these little monsters like dirt and mud. Lots. Of. Mud. So, all that rain we got last week? (Thank you, God!) Well, it left a little mud puddle right at our back door. (Thanks, God.) Might as well just put a big neon sign over it: Ben & Micah's Playground, aka Amy's Personal Hell Hole.
Exhibit A:
Doesn't Micah look like he is just having the time of his life? Doesn't Ben look so excited for HIS turn? What a mean mommy, to make him stop! Truth be told, I didn't immediately. First, I took pictures :) Now comes the torture & revenge part of the story...
It just so happens that Chad was off when they did this monster truck/mud ring act the first time. So guess who got to clean them up?! Yep, my momma didn't raise no dummies. Well, she actually did, I'm afraid, but I'm not one of them!
Ben thought this was going to be FUN. He was WRONG.
Micah knew it wasn't going to be good, and he was right. Now, I'm sure this looks like Chad was enjoying torturing his kids....he was. But I should tell you it lasted less than a minute, then they were herded into a warm shower. See, we learned a lesson a while back. If you put them straight into a warm shower, that equals MORE FUN. Mud bath + warm bath = The Best Day Ever for Ben & Micah. So, we had to give them a little incentive to stay out of the mud. For a week after this, if they so much as LOOKED at that stupid mud puddle, I'd yell "Who wants a cold shower with a water hose?!" And they'd take off running. Away from the mud.
Until today. About an hour ago I realized they were being very quiet. Quiet strikes terror in the heart of a mom. Especially a mom of 3 boys. This is what I found:
It appears they have been eyeing that mud hole all week and have come to a conclusion: They can play in the mud, then take off their clothes, give themselves a cold water hose bath, dry off in the sun, and no one will be the wiser. They were wrong :)
Thanks, God.
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