Busy Little Bee

I've been crazy busy trying to finish up the edits on the wedding we did last month, plus the shoot we did two weeks ago on two little adorable girls. Editing is fun but soooo time consuming. And actually, more stressful than fun right now because I'm still finding my "voice" in the process.

Like, am I more of a natural light type of photographer? And what does that even mean?! Then, do I like the "obviously edited" pics or prefer the more natural, straight off the memory card look? And does it even matter what I like?!

So, I'm finding my way and in the mean time customers want to see their pics! So, here's a couple from the wedding that I really like. Not sure I'm sticking with these edits, but at least you'll see what I've been up to. 

Abstract photos are not my best, but this is one of my favorite shots.

 This is the cream look - like it?

I love these kind of shots - can you feel his nerves?!

 LOVE this moment! I can hear them saying, Whaat?

 This was right after he FOUND the ring on the floor, behind a chair:

Those are smiles of great relief! 

To be honest, I don't feel satisfied with the editing I've done. Also, I prefer b&w or creamtones, aged photos, to color...but not sure if the bride does. I should have asked before I did all this work, huh.

So, that's what I've been up to. You?

For Angie

Recently I was really struggling with my faith in God to provide for our financial needs. He always has, eventually, but there have been times I've paid my bills late or had to borrow money and those old fears were trying to return and settle in my heart.

The truth is, looking back, I was not serving God like I should when I couldn't pay my bills or had to borrow money. I can see now where I was going my own way, doing my own thing, then asking God to deliver me when I got into trouble as a result. And, being the smart parent He is, He let me feel the pain of my wrong choices.

Once I began to fix my relationship with Him, to go HIS way, ask for wisdom making hard decisions, and then follow the path He lead me to, THEN He began to deliver me out of the mess I was in. There is a confidence in God that comes when you know you are doing your best to follow His will for your life. Then, you can say, God brought me to it, He's going to take me THROUGH it!

So, in the particular case, I was praying as I mowed the grass, with my headphones on. I giving God a list of all the stuff coming at us, telling Him how I needed Him to fix things - :) And suddenly this song came on my mp3 player:  

I've had many tears and sorrows

I've had questions for tomorrow

There have been times I didn't know right from wrong

But in every situation God gave blessed consolation
That my trials come only to make me strong.

So I thank God for the mountains

and I thank Him for the valleys

I thank Him for every storm He's brought me through

For if I never had a problem

I wouldn't know that God could solve them

I wouldn't know what faith in His Word can do

Through It All

by Andre Crouch

Needless to say, I busted out crying and sobbed for 15 minutes as I mowed the yard and played this song over & over. I had church on my riding lawn mower.

He simply reminded, again, that every time I face something, He's right beside me, walking in front of me, and guarding my back. He's taking me through it all!

Sunday sermon

That's how long the song I shared with you a week ago has been #1 on the Contemporary Christian Music Charts. (That was a mouthful!) Looks like I'm not the only one that song is speaking to, eh?!

I still slow down whatever I'm doing and soak in the words every time it plays on my phone or radio. God's little reminder that whatever I'm going through, it's all a part of His great plan for my life. The good, the bad, the hopelessly overwhelming. So, congrats, Laura Story! May the success help pay your bills so you have more time to write anointed songs for the rest of us :)

Today I taught part two on the life & times of Nehemiah in the adult Sunday School.
Nehemiah is such a great example, not only as a Godly leader but also as a Christian. 

First, when he received the report that his homeland was still in disarray, unguarded and not being rebuilt, he became burdened. He fasted, he prayed, his countenance was changed, saddened. So much so, the king noticed and asked Nehemiah what was wrong with him!

Too often it's easy for me to ignore the chaos I see around me or tune out the pain I hear in others' voices and go about my business as usual. All the while praying for God to bless me, give me a burden, let me be a help to someone...and He's already showed me what needs to be done. He's already put someone in my path that I can help, even if just with a hug, a prayer, a phone call.

But Nehemiah didn't pass the buck, he took up the cause and petitioned the king to send him to his homeland, Israel, that he might rebuilt the wall of protection around Jerusalem. 

First, he has to rally the troops. 50,000+ Jews are living in the area and they are whipped, uninspired...not doing so hot. Been there, done that...have the t-shirt, mug, and magnet.

Some are remnants left behind from the carrying away into Babylon but most are the captives that returned with Ezra, some 50 years before, I believe (fuzzy on the dates). They started a good work but they've lost their zeal, their passion to rebuilt the temple, repair the wall, and become the nation God called them to be. 

The Book of Revelations calls it losing your first love...sound familiar?

But Nehemiah is persistent, stubborn in a good way and he fights the good fight to do what he came to do. Fights gossip, rumors of attacks, distractions...all by his fellow Jews! Ouch. What's the proverb, about your enemies being those of your own house?!

And 52 days later, the wall is complete! Nehemiah is so joyful, he forms two choirs to march around the wall and sing praise & thanksgiving to God; they are so loud that the people outside Jerusalem hear it!

Now, God didn't come down there and build that wall for them. He didn't stop the enemy from running their mouth....but He strengthened Nehemiah to finish his task. In fact, that's all Nehemiah asked for:  "O God, strengthen my hands." (6:9) Not, Please get me out of this mess! Or, deliver us, O God! He just asked God to strengthen him to work another day. 

Why does this matter? Because we are all in a fight: a fight to keep worldly un-morals out of our lives, to keep peace in our homes, to be a witness in a dark, nasty world. To remain faithful against hopelessness...it's a fight. But Paul called it a good fight. A cause worth fighting for.

So, when I struggle, when I want out, when I want it to be easy, God help me to ask for strength to endure instead, like my big brother Nehemiah.

Ben's 1st Day of School - Pt. 2

So, after I took Ben to his first day of Kindergarten (we skipped preschool, for the strangers in the audience), I was positively giddy with the possibilities: lunch by myself, a leisurely (omgosh, so that's what that word looks like!) walk through a store or even (GASP!) a BOOK store...OR...Starbucks and a book....I almost started crying at the thought!

Then, remembered my hateful, anti Starbucks budget and headed to McDonalds. Oh my gosh, the irony of going to McDonalds without Ben on my first childless day just hit me right in the face.

A caramel frappe (try it and you'll have me to blame for the new addiction) later, I headed to one of my favorite kid-unfriendly stores, TJ Maxx. Yes, I walked down almost every single aisle, touching glass vases and pouring through racks of clothes I didn't need just because I could. 
Because Ben wasn't yelling, "CAN WE LEAVE?!"

I went to the post office and mailed some packages without worrying about Ben going nuts in the line. I smiled at total strangers because I was happy. Not stressed. Not playing 101 questions on what I could buy/do/take him.
 
Okay, I'm starting to feel bad, lol. Ben is not a monster. He's not even a brat. He may be a little hyper active, I'm starting to realize, like his daddy. Hmmm.



So anyway, my day was wonderful. I went grocery shopping, something I loathe doing with Ben because he wants to touch everything, buy everything, and then freak out when I take too long. I'm starting to realize how little patience he has. 

Ha! I'm gonna tell God on him, now that I think about it! He has ways of producing patience ;)


Anyway, I ended up spending 4 hours in town, then came home and cleaned my house from top to bottom, including mopping & vacuuming and dishes...just in time to pick the kids up from school. I felt so productive! And happy! And calm! 


I know I'll look back one day and wish I could do it all over again. At least, I think I will. Everyone says you do and I already miss the baby days. They were good years, but I'm ready for the next stage. He's ready. It's time. And it is looking good!

I'm looking forward to all the work I'll get done while the kids are in school, so I can better enjoy my evenings with them. I am tired of hearing myself say, I can't play with you right now, I have to finish something. 

Oh, funny story (to end on). I actually sat in a parking lot yesterday and talked to Beth on the phone for an hour, while waiting on the bank to open (I had no idea they don't open till 8:30am!). I kept thinking, Ben would be freaking out right about now saying, "Can we GO yet?"
 
Today I had to run some errands and he was with me. I came to a stop sign and had to wait for traffic to slow so I could pull out. Sure enough, I hear, "What are you waiting for!?" I turned, gave him my Oh no you don't! face and he just smiled sheepishly.

A few minutes later I pulled up to a red light. Not 10 seconds later he yelled, "GO!" 
Yeah, I won't miss that part at all, lol. I gave him the Do Not Tell Mommy What To Do speech for the 10th time today, wherein he apologized, per usual. Which lasted 5 minutes. Per usual. 

Did I mention I've been praying for his teacher?!

Ben's 1st Day of School - Pt. 1

Okay, I'm going to admit something that moms aren't supposed to say out loud, probably. Good moms, anyway.

I have been COUNTING DOWN the days till Ben starts school for a long time now. Doesn't that sound just awful?!

Don't judge me till you've been his slave for 24 hours straight.

I love that kid. He is my baby. I get all soft and mushy inside when I think about my youngest child. He's the one that, from day one, had to sleep in my arms, tucked under my chin.

But, long story short, that cute little cuddly baby grew into a demanding, bossy, needy 5 year old.

His first question every single morning is: Where are we going today? I am a hermit, so this is the LAST thing I want to do, leave the house. If I say no where, he starts The Game.

YOU know the one: 


Can we go to Beffie's (Beth')? No.
Why not? Because Beth is working. 
Can we go to WalMart? No, I don't need to go to WalMart today.
How about we go to McDonald's? No, we're just going to stay home today.

Then, the bargaining starts:

If you take me to McDonald's, I'll wet you doe to WalMart! (This is when I start laughing. Or pulling my hair out, depending my current stress level.) 

Then, he eats every 1-2 hours. We eat pretty healthy and apples are one of his favorite snacks. He's been known to eat an entire bag of apples in ONE day. My mom watched him for me a few months ago and told me later, "I thought you were kidding...but I literally fed that boy all day long!"


I don't mind, really. I know he's a growing boy and has a hollow leg. In fact, his knees are already as big as my 10 yr old's. But it's hard to get into the flow of editing pictures or updating a website reading my Bible...ANY thing and have to keep getting up to get him something or play a million questions about what I'm doing today.

Even Katie told me today: "He's needy! He needs constant entertainment!" 

Because some of this stuff is just boredom talking. I watch him and when he gets tired of playing with something, he looks around then looks at me, sees me working, and he must think to himself, she doesn't look busy enough....i need to give her something to do.  

"I'M. HUNGRY!" 


All. Day. Long.


I've tried setting aside a time to do these things with him, so he'll let me do what I need to do in peace. Doesn't work. And yes, I've bought snacks he can get for himself, drinks, etc.... Then he wants a hot dog, heated up. And when he doesn't eat it fast enough and it cools off, he wants it reheated (he has a real issue with food temperature!). And yes, I've tried not doing it. He goes on a hunger strike and, well, I'm a mom. I can't let that go on for too long. I went through too much pain & suffering to get him here!

That's why I was so happy to meet his teacher. She will be able to set boundaries and enforce them because, face it, it's not HER kid!

I've been praying for this woman since I met her. She seems very capable; sweet, yet firm. Exactly what Ben needs. He really seems to like her, which is so great, but it's only been one day. He starts a full week next Monday and then he's in for a rude awakening. They did "fun" stuff on his first day, like make play dough, play on the playground, color, met a bear...or so he says.

Monday, the gloves come off and he get so "learn", something he says he hates to do, lol. I can't wait!

Ben is a smart cookie. Probably the brightest of all my kids at this particular age. Are moms allowed to say that out loud either? But it's true. He needs the mental stimulation, the constant activity, and someone who will refuse to play The Game with him. Or is better at it than I am, lol.

So, that day was yesterday. He's already asked if he could go back to "stool". 
Um, YES!

As for what I did while he was away, that's a whole other post...but it involved the Spongebob Squarepants song, "Best day ever...!"

PS: I was SO excited about getting him there, I totally forgot to take pictures of his first day of school! I know, bad photographer/mommy. So, Monday we are doing a redo :)

I ♥ Faces!

I love to check out what other photographers are up to and one great way to do that is through blogs & contests. Combine those two genres and you have "I Heart Faces", "an award winning photography website with weekly photo challenges, tutorials, tips & lots of fun!" 

My favorite part is that it's open to photographers of every level and especially MOMS. We moms love our cameras!

(I've been known to refer to my own as The Fifth Child - or better, when the kids aren't around!)

*Drumroll*

I've entered my first iheartfaces contest! This week's theme is "Friendship" in honor of National Friend Week and you must submit a photo that best embodies friendship. The photo can include another person or even a pet, but it must have at least one human face showing. 

I call it: What chu lookin' at, Willis?!

(Did I just age myself or what?) 

Just kidding. But seriously...

I know it's not one of my best pictures, but it makes me smile every time I see it. I took this last fall when Daisy had been with us just a few months. She was the most adorable puppy ever! She's still a beautiful dog and she still looks at Chad with that same "Whaaaat?!" expression on her face (also the real title of my picture).


So, there's my submission on Friendship. Just don't tell Katie her dad & dog are BFFs!


Click on the link or type in http://www.iheartfaces.com/ to visit this awesome photography website.

PS: This is NOT one of those "vote for me!" posts. You don't have to do a thing, they will judge the photo and announce the winner sometime this week - fingers crossed!

Teenagers: God's Revenge

Today is Ben's "big birfday party", wherein we invite all the family and most of the friends to over to celebrate. Celebrate: meaning to eat tons of food, talk loud and nonstop, and play highly competitive games of badminton and volleyball.

Good times :)

In honor of my little boy growing up, check out this youtube video I found the other day. A christian comedian, I forget his name, has great insight into teenagers. It's just a few minutes and I bet you laugh out loud several times!

Teenagers

Goodbye, Comfort Zone!

Most of my family & friends already know this, but about 6 months ago my sister, Louise, & I decided to go into business for ourselves. I fell in love with photography around age 11, probably because of my Dad's mom. She always had a nice camera laying around, the 35mm with all the fancy buttons...I thought she was a pro! 

Every single time we visited her in Indiana, I would head straight for the photo albums. She had, and has, a passion to capture everyone and everything that she loves on film, and she passed that love on to me.

In fact, she bought my very first camera around that time, for Christmas: the 110. Remember those? I thought I was big stuff! I still have pictures I took with my little 110. Thank you, Grandma. (she also bought me my first purse & first nice pair of dressy shoes - Chad says you created a monster & thanks a lot!)

Now, Louise is braver than I am and jumped right in last December, buying the professional camera and all the trimmings she would need to get started. But I am my father's daughter,so I researched & worried for 6 months before I finally took the plunge last month and bought my own set up.

We named our photography business Forever Photography because, even though nothing material last forever, pictures are probably next best thing for preserving a memory. We designed the website, www.foreverphotog.com, printed up business cards, added a Facebook page, here, and started praying. Seriously.

Louise called Grandma and asked her to pray. Grandma went one step further & added our new little business to her prayer chain. Three days later, we had 3 jobs!

Don't you love Him?! I love how HE loves moving even in the little things, the buried desires of our heart.

So, it began. It's been soooo hard for me to step out of my comfort zone in some areas. Dealing with strangers face to face, setting a price and sticking with it, editing to please the customer, not me (still working on that one!).

But I love it! I'm so glad we did this. I didn't want to wait another 10 or 20 years and look back to thing, Why didn't I at least try?! I already have a few of those regrets and I'm trying hard to not add to the list.

In honor of jumping out of my comfort zone, I just signed up for something totally cool and new for me:  World Wide Photo Walk - thanks to my cousin, Linn.

Please, keep us in your prayers. I feel so honored when someone chooses us to shoot their portrait, birthday, or wedding. In fact, I have to stop myself from talking them out of it! I want to tell them, but this other lady is SO good!

Which is why we're cheap ;)

Have you stepped out of your comfort zone lately? Tell me about it!

Blessings in Disguise

One of the main reasons I quit blogging is that it is so hard to filter every word I write, think about who in my family or circle of friends might read it (& possibly recognize themselves!). It was too much, so I stopped. Then joined Facebook. LOL! Talk about no filter! Plus, people you haven't seen in 20 years can now judge every single thing you do & say publicly!

But I am so full again with things going on in my life and relationship with God and writing stuff down has always been therapeutic for me. Facebook can't handle what I want to say, so hear I am. And this next stuff is what led me to start back up when I did (some of it is repeat from Facebook, so bear with me):

Last week I was driving & praying about some very hard situations in several different friends' lives, asking God to bless them. Most of them are financial, as it always seems to go, so my prayer is usually, GIVE THEM MONEY. Better jobs. Overtime. Money trees ;)

But some of them are dealing with things that money can't fix. Unhappy marriages, single parenting, terrible bosses/neighbors/family...you name it. Everyone I know has some difficult situation they are asking God to intervene in.

As I prayed, my ears picked up on the same word, "blessings", over & over on the radio, so I paused & turned it up. When you are desperate to hear from God, you start looking at billboards differently, searching for some deeper, hidden meaning...and songs become direct words from God...or so you hope ;)

This is the song I heard. It's also in my playlist, to the right, so you can click & hear it as I did. Before you do, let me tell you a little about the woman that wrote it.

Laura Story is the woman who wrote the song Chris Tomlin made famous, Indescribable (I added it to the playlist as well, for those who live on another planet & haven't heard it!).
A year & a half into her marriage her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. You can hear her testimony in her own words here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5ljV_RA0CM

She wrote this song, though, after years of ups & downs, prayers & tears, frustration with unanswered prayers, wondering if God was even listening, didn't He care...sound familiar?! Guess that's why it spoke to me so loudly. I added my thoughts in bold & parenthesis in the margin.

Blessings

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things (An easy life is a lesser blessing?)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near (Ohhh. I see.)
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise (Because the goal is to know you more..and how better to get to know you...)

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near (it's like she can read minds!)
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough (Ouch!)
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long we'd have faith to believe (again, ouch.)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
It's not our home (My one of my favorite promises...we're pilgrims & aliens!)

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy (this is where I usually cry)
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

See what I'm talking about? She gets it. What a great understand of how this thing, this relationship & getting to know God, works! The harder my trial, the more I learn to lean on Him. The more I get to know Him in ways I wouldn't even consider, had I not stayed up nights praying & listening for His voice. WOW. I don't like it, but I get it.

So, I'm trying to look at things a little differently now. Trials are opportunities to see God move, dark times are opportunities for the SON to shine brighter.

I may need you to remind me of this next week, next month, next pitfall.

A whole handful of birthdays

Today is the day!

Ben has been counting down to his 5th birthday since, well, last August. So, today has been Ben Day. The Day of Ben. Wait, isn't that the name of the year, too?

I won't bore you with "5 years ago today I was...". My favorite way to share memories, of course...photos!

My gorgeous boy

His new "smile" face...not loving it!

Eying the presents

Aunt Louise was tickling him out of the serious mood he was in

Brothers & cousins

Miss Betty Crocker's cookie brownie is to DIE for. Almost. A lot. Seriously!

He asked me this morning how old he was, so I asked him, "How old do you think you are?" He thought about it a minute then threw up a hand with all 5 fingers raised.

"That's right! You're the big 5 years old today!"

He pondered that a sec then asked,

"But when will I big 6 like Mitah!?"

And so it will go for the next 364 days.

I told you so!

Borrowed from Facebook:

Sometimes God says yes. Sometimes God says no. Sometimes God says I told you so.

Which leads to something I've always suspected:

Most of my troubles are self made.

Socialism...share the love

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said,

"OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.

Could not be any simpler than that. Remember, there is a test coming up: the next presidential election in 2012!

I'm baaack!

A friend recently informed me that it has been almost a year and a half since my last post - wow! The fact she even looked that up made me feel guilty somehow - thanks Annette!

The truth is, things are finally starting to settle down a little. Ben, my baby, turns 5 tomorrow and in one week he starts Kindergarten. For the first time in almost 12 years, I will be child free during the day. I'm giddy with excitement, let me tell you! I wasn't ready for this day with Katie...nor Ethan...and definitely like my little Micah. But Ben is ready. I'm ready. We're doing this!

A quick update for my 2nd 1st post:

As mentioned, my baby turns 5 tomorrow, August 1st. 5 years ago I was stressing out over who in the world would babysit my other 3 when the time came for me to have my baby. We were stationed in D.C., I hadn't yet moved on base & met my soon to be BFF Jacklyn, one of the few people EVER that I'd be able to trust with my kids. But God provided, someone from my church stepped up and, though not ideal, it all worked out. And Baby Ben came into the world kicking & screaming :)

Then, in 2 weeks, my firstborn will celebrate her 12th birthday.

WoW.

Those birthdays just keep on coming, making me older & older. I'll post more on her later but need to know is that she starts middle school next week, something I am refusing to stress over. She's covered in prayer, she has strong morals...she'll be fine.

Ethan is 10 and going through a really rough period right now. My little sweet boy has developed a smart mouth and we're dealing with it. Pray for him. I think he needs a good friend, among other things.

Little Micah Fisher is still Mr. Sweetie except he has now transferred all his love to my new sister in law, Juli. And her bridesmaid. And the female DJ at her wedding. I'm nursing a serious broken heart over that one!

We're all good, despite job & financial stress. We're happy, incredibly blessed in the health & love department, and really...isn't that what matters most?

Oh, and I started a photography business with my sister, Louise! It's a life long dream and God seriously led me to this point and I am SO excited! A little overwhelmed, but excited!

Forever Photography is on Facebook and we have a website! www.foreverphotog.com - all the other cool names were taken ;) (Just kidding, business partner...I really do like the name!)

Since I know I have really only 3 die hard fans, I've tagged you three to receive emails every time i update. You were the only three that nagged me to restart the blog :D
Let me know if that gets inconvenient.

I also made it mobile phone capable. So you can view it on your smart phone in an easier to read mode than a regular sized webpage. If you have a not so smart phone, you're outta luck ;)

Anyway, I love you girls - Jacklyn, Annette, & Angie - and this is for you! (Let me know when you are sick of the minute details of my boring life!)