Happy Mothers Day!

Or, as Micah yelled, Happy Muddahs Day!

My oldest child is 9 1/2 years old and my baby is 2 1/2, so my Mother's Day presents for the past few years have been mostly handmade gifts. My favorite one of all time is from when Katie was 5, while we were stationed in Japan. Her kindergarten teacher took a picture of her profile then cut it out in black cardstock, glued it to a white poster, with a poem on the bottom about her little hands & feet. Then she laminated it. Katie was wearing a pony tail the day she took the picture, which makes it even cuter.

Then some years Chad has taken them to a store to pick something out for Mother's Day. That is always interesting! One year I got a pack of Veggie Tales birthday party plates; that was the year 2 year old Ethan was obssessed with Veggie Tales and it's the only gift I remember from that year. I told Chad this week, let them pick anything they want me to have. Even if it really don't make sense, as long as they see meaning to the gift, that's all that matters. And there have been some really hard to figure out gifts over the years :D But maybe this year they'll want me to have a digital picture frame....(hint!)

So far I have already received a beautifully made card from Ethan with coupons for a free hug, free kiss, free babysitting the boys so I can rest, and a few more. Those are the gifts I love! I don't know what Chad has planned, if anything, this year. Money is tight and so is time. But I will be celebrating the big day with my own mother for the first time in 6 years, so I'm just excited to see what all she rakes in and how much she loves mine (the most, of course!). This is one of those days where having nine kids finally pays off...right, mom? Sibling rivalry is alive & kicking at teh *Smith* house ;)

Moms are a strange creature. God handmade us to show His own love toward all mankind, I believe. But from what I've seen, we tend to undervalue ourselves more than anyone else ever will.

For instance, I know a lot of moms that do not take time for themselves, something not involving their kids. Now, I am a firm believer in taking care of yourself, including your mental health, so you can be a better mom. For almost 7 years, I didn't do anything without my husband or kids being with me, except a rare run to the grocery store or BX. And for the first three years, while in Japan especially, it wasn't a problem. I did have a good friend there, Muneca, but she had 3 kids as well and a psyco husband, so we didn't do a lot without kids.

But then we moved to Maryland, two more kids came along, and Chad started getting involved in fishing. Suddenly I was starting to understand just a little bit more how moms go off the deep end and end up hurting themselves or their children. I didn't do this, thank God, and I think a big part of the reason why is that my husband noticed me slowly losing it and *insisted* on me getting out of the house by myself.

So, the last three years we were in the Air Force, he would kick me out the door and tell me to go get a Starbucks, or go shopping, or go read a book in a parking lot, but LEAVE. It was hard. I felt guilty. I didn't want to take a shower required to go out in public, I didn't want to shop alone...I always had an excuse. I used to ask him to let me just take a long, uninterrupted bath. But after the first few times, I realized I had to leave the house in order for the kids to remember they had a second parent, and that second parent to realize he had to watch those kids like a hawk if I was to have any peace in the tub.

Then I met Jacklynn. Oh my gosh...Jesus made her just for me!

It started at Katie's birthday party; she was the only mom to stay while I refereed 8 girls. As we talked, I realized I was comfortable with her. Besides my sisters, there has been only two women that made me feel that way. Totally comfortable to be myself, say whatever I really think, and be the person I am behind closed doors with her: Muneca, my crazy Mexican friend, and now Jacklynn.

We didn't do a whole lot by ourselves. We usually had the 7 kids with us. But I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I realized that calls home to sisters and mom wasn't enough, I needed a girlfriend. I needed to have time to think my own thoughts without constant interruption, to have an adult conversation without asking the person to hold on while I chase down a kid, and on and on.

Now I'm living within a few miles of all of my family and I have plenty of opportunities to get out with the girls. Funny thing about moms...we don't need a lot of time. After just two hours, I'm ready to go home. It's rare that I go four hours. Ususally only if the kids are in bed, so I know they aren't missing me. But by then Chad IS, so I come home to happy kids, an even happier husband, and thanks to my time away, I'm happy to see them.

Everything in balance, everything in moderation.

It won't always be 50-50, the time each parent needs for themselves. And, as a mom, it shouldn't be, in my opinion. But the best advice I can give about being a mom is to take care of yourself and take care of your relationship with your husband. The best present you can ever give your kids is a happy, well adjusted parent, and a happily married mom & dad.

So, here's hoping for some laughs, tons of hugs, and lots of sloppy kisses today. And, my favorite, not having to cook or clean for at least 8 hours :)

Happy Mom Day!